Log:Session 14 (Meta, no ontology)

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[09:48] <&Hebizuka> *Let's start...*
[09:48] <&Hebizuka> Question 1: Which one of those styles do you like the most?
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     A) The action hero
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     B) The laidback sniper
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     C) The rogue cop
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     D) The mercenary
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     E) The survivalist
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     F) The magnificent bastard
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     G) The iron fist authority figure
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     H) The free-spirited avenger
[09:48] <&Hebizuka>     I) The psycho 
[09:48] <Jonah> A. All Paladin, all the time.
[09:53] <&Hebizuka> Question 2: If you could change your lifestyle and stick forever to it, what would you pick?
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     A) Living in a ranch in Texas, with a wife/husband, a dog, a pick-up truck with the gun rack, and a barbecue every weekend
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     B) Moving to the jungles in Africa and becoming the friend of gorillas and chimpanzees
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     C) Getting a flamboyant house near a French beach and enjoy the beach view every day of the year
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     D) Become a Greenpeace member and endlessly fight for nature's sake (even though she asked you for nothing)
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     E) Become the owner of your very own brand of beer, and have it known as the "most hardcore beer" in the world
[09:53] <&Hebizuka>     F) Move to Japan and become the owner of a hot springs bath 
[09:54] <Jonah> E. Everyone knows that beermakers are also the best bartenders. Go go microbreweries!
[09:57] <&Hebizuka> Question 3: The fate of a popular teen idol derided by critics for terrible singing, is in your hands. You...
[09:57] <&Hebizuka>     A) Think he should be respected as a role model for the future generations
[09:57] <&Hebizuka>     B) Hang him
[09:57] <&Hebizuka>     C) Hang and shoot him
[09:57] <&Hebizuka>     D) Subject him to waterboarding
[09:57] <&Hebizuka>     E) Force him to wear nothing but a collar, walk on all fours and bark like a dog while following you around 
[09:57] <Jonah> E. Because popular teen idols are what we call fools, and fools can not be conventionally saved.
[09:58] <&Hebizuka> Question 4: You have received 500 dollars to spend in any store of your area. You spend it on…
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     A) Groceries for the next two months
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     B) Spend it on designer clothes and finally look wear as rich and secure as you always wished to be
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     C) That latest-generation workout machine to spend two-thirds of your time training on
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     D) Wal-Mart ammunition and an extra rifle for plinking in your backyard
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     E) That small store with the hard rock music and the very cool selection of biker accessories
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     F) The perfect cosplay outfit of your favorite anime character
[09:58] <&Hebizuka>     G) Food, supplies, shotgun ammunition, a guide on how to survive the zombie apocalypse, and anxiolytics to overcome paranoia 
[10:01] <Jonah> A. Delicious foods~
[10:02] <&Hebizuka> Question 5: If you could choose only song genre to listen to for those long trips on the highway, it would be...
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     A) Classic and/or driving rock, or something equivalent you'd listen on the go, so every highway is Route 66 and every meal is a T-Bone steak
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     B) Upbeat, adrenaline-pumping electro house music, because every night is "Outrun cops" night
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     C) Fast-paced 1980's hard rock, because every road is like your own personal race track
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     D) Old-school 1990's hip-hop, because only true street rats - such as you - know how to keep it real
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     E) Classical music, particularly dramatic pieces (Overture 1818, the Soviet national anthem), because these are the only true sounds for you
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     F) Marijuana reggae and other kinds of feel-good music, because you don't have to put up with road rage
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     G) Chicago house music or some other form of underground club music, because you cultivate an underground attitude
[10:02] <&Hebizuka>     H) Something nobody has heard of, because you are a hipster 
[10:03] <Jonah> H. Everyone thinks dragon music is just roaring and breathing fire.
[10:03] <Jonah> They're wrong!
[10:05] <&Hebizuka> Question 6: When you are faced with a problem or an issue in your day-to-day life, what words describe best the way you deal with it?
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     A) Honorably, driven by a code of conduct
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     B) Like a boss, awesomely, with style
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     C) Righteously, with gallantry
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     D) Soldierly, patriotically
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     E) Dutifully, selflessly, as a second-nature
[10:05] <&Hebizuka>     F) Affectionately, compassionately 
[10:06] <Jonah> C. Because honor's for chumps.
[10:08] <&Hebizuka> Question 7: You are stranded on an island, and you can have only one of the following. You pick…
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     A) Your loved one
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     B) A satellite phone
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     C) A survival knife
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     D) A guide about exotic plants
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     E) A solar-powered radio with a selection of reggae music
[10:08] <&Hebizuka>     F) Enough fuel to transform the island into a gigantic bonfire 
[10:10] <Jonah> B: Satellite phone means a way off the island.
[10:12] <&Hebizuka> Question 8: We are in the 17th century, and you're well-known among pirates and corsairs for…
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     A) Your bone-chilling smile of gold and silver
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     B) Your large hands covered in bracelets (which are very good at choking)
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     C) Your two flintlock pistols, symbol of a very early lineage of cowboys and dual-wielding psychos
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     D) Your galleon called "The Island Crusher"
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     E) Your enormous cannon you nicknamed "Mama"
[10:12] <&Hebizuka>     F) Your immense wealth and fleet of successful merchant ships 
[10:13] <Jonah> F. All the better to bait those SCALLYWAGS and SCURVY DOGS into facing MY HOLY SWORD.
[10:13] <&Hebizuka> The problem is, which one?
[10:13] * &Hebizuka tongue in cheek, though she can't see that.
[10:13] <Jonah> Uhm. Uhhh.
[10:14] <&Hebizuka> Heehee.
[10:14] <Jonah> G...Guys get the lethal one, and girls get the fun one?
[10:14] <Jonah> I guess?
[10:14] <Jonah> Maybe?
[10:14] <Jonah> WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A DICK
[10:14] <&Hebizuka> Silly. Let's just move on.
[10:14] <Jonah> Yes please.
[10:14] <Jonah> For the love of all that's holy.
[10:15] <&Hebizuka> Question 9: Which of those vehicles reflect best your tastes?
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     A) The expensive, high-performance sports car
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     B) The ultra comfortable luxury sedan
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     C) The family-oriented minivan with 7 seats
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     D) The ultra-powerful, ultra-maniable sports bike
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     E) The riced-up import car with a paintjob customized according to your tastes
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     F) The ambulance (or another form of rescue vehicle)
[10:15] <&Hebizuka>     G) The limousine with personal chauffeur 
[10:15] <Jonah> F. Duh.
[10:16] <&Hebizuka> Question 10: It's your birthday and you received a mystery gift. You open it and find...
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     A) An unexpected but actually very useful and practical item which you end up using every day
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     B) Something that happens to be an item you've always wanted - and you suspect the senders knew exactly what you wanted
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     C) A basket full of food and comfortable clothes of your size
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     D) Appropriate clothes for a cosplay or a disguise of your favorite fictional character
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     E) A wad of cash (or equivalent currency)
[10:16] <&Hebizuka>     F) The war relics of that ancestor in your family who fought during a war generations ago 
[10:17] <Jonah> A. Paladins only travel with the clothes on their back and their sword in hand, so something practical for that lifestyle would be great.
[10:17] <&Hebizuka> Well we'll see about that...
[10:18] <Jonah> I SWEAR IF YOU MAKE ANY SWORD JOKES.
[10:18] <&Hebizuka> You brought that up, not me!
[10:18] <&Hebizuka> Question 11: Friends come ringing at your door at 10 PM, they want you to join them at a party, but you had other plans. You finally decide to…
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     A) Go to this party; might be some hot chicks/boys to check out
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     B) Go to this party and buy everyone drinks; to be the king/queen of the night!
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     C) Tell them to get lost; you never go to parties anyway
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     D) Don't answer and lock yourself up at home; the computer is your friend
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     E) Tell them you'll join them later yourself, then go to the party with a shotgun; That'll teach them to respect YOUR plans
[10:18] <&Hebizuka>     F) Greet your friends with your shotgun and threaten to shoot them if they don't leave; It could be a trap from the CIA! 
[10:18] <Jonah> Uhm. Uh.
[10:18] <Jonah> These are all extremes!
[10:18] <Jonah> I, uh - A I guess?
[10:19] <Jonah> Auntie Helel keeps bugging me about GRAND NEPHEWS AND NIECES.
[10:19] <&Hebizuka> *The next question is meta.*
[10:19] <&Hebizuka> Question 12: Which mission set do you want to attempt?
[10:19] <&Hebizuka>     A) Normal missions - Recommended for new players. Be part of an intricate archaeological plot full of uncanny surprises, in order to uncover a huge treasure.
[10:19] <&Hebizuka>     B) Alternate missions - Recommended for seasoned players. Participate in the human-youkai conflict as an ally of youkai activists and defeat their life-long enemies: the military.
[10:19] <&Hebizuka>     C) Proxy missions - Recommended fo veteran players. Join a military squad and climb the ranks. Objective: Defeat a powerful youkai activist group at all costs... and against all odds.
[10:19] <&Hebizuka>     D) Contracts - Recommended for players seeking a freer, less-linear progression. Become a contractor and complete various unrelated jobs as they're offered to you, for fame and money. 
[10:21] <Jonah> A.
[10:21] <&Hebizuka> *Setting up...*
[10:21] <&Hebizuka> Very well.
[10:22] <Jonah> That was dumb and totally nothing like a reasonable personality assessment!
[10:22] <&Hebizuka> I've got everything I wanted to know anyways.
[10:22] <Jonah> Oh well in that case.
[10:22] <&Hebizuka> And in exchange you get clothing. And weapons. And... really, all sorts of equipment to get you started.
[10:22] <Jonah> Ehhhhh. Whatever works.
[10:22] <&Hebizuka> An engineer will come deliver your stuff in a few seconds.
[10:23] * Jonah beams at the word 'equipment'. Come on, get me a sword a sword a sword.
[10:24] <Jonah> I /need/ a bladed weapon. Like, even a knife will do. A bayonet! Forget the /gun/ attached to it.
[10:24] <&Hebizuka> *An engineer pushes a cart full of crates of various sizes inside the room you're sitting in. They pay no mind or attention to your apparent lack of clothing.*
[10:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Engie] Um, I've got a delivery for, uhhh... Jonah. No family name or anything. 
[10:24] * Jonah still keeps her breasts and... and dick covered. Modesty is important yo.
[10:24] <Jonah> That's me. Thank you kindly, sir.
[10:24] <Jonah> But I, uh. Don't have any identification.
[10:25] <Jonah> Is that okay, or.
[10:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Engie] Aight. Well all that stuff is yours. *He waves at the entire cart of crates.*
[10:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Engie] There is also a letter. ( http://pastebin.com/gqgp9cZG )
[10:27] <&Hebizuka> *You see 7 crates, of sizes ranging from "tiny" to "really heavy".*
[10:27] * Jonah makes... her? His? her way over to the crates, using them to cover the lower half of her body and read through the letter.
[10:27] <Jonah> FLIRTY AND SEDUCTIVE!? SADISTIC AND DOMINEERING!? What bullshit be this!?
[10:28] <&Hebizuka> *Somewhere, Hebizuka laughs off camera and away from the loudspeaker mic.*
[10:28] * Jonah crumples the paper and tosses it aside, hissing violently as she takes a glance at the crates. Any labels or anything?
[10:29] <&Hebizuka> *>Load-bearing gear >Clothing >Weapons >Ammunition >Food >Meds >Other items*
[10:29] <Jonah> Weapons.
[10:29] <&Hebizuka> =Weapons=
[10:29] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Remington 870 Marine Magnum shotgun | 12 gauge - Pump-action | No accessory | Internal tube, 7 rounds, +1 | Weight: 22 - [6+1/7, 7x Buckshot] - Cond: Good / Clns: Clean
[10:29] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Smith & Wesson Model 686 revolver | .357 Magnum - Semi-auto | No accessory | Cylinder, 6 rounds | Weight: 5 - [6/6, 6x .357 HP] - Cond: Good / Clns: Clean
[10:29] <Jonah> Come on, come on, mama needs a SHANK.
[10:30] <Jonah> Fuck. FUCK.
[10:30] <Jonah>  /Guns./
[10:30] <Jonah> Why did it have to be /guns./
[10:30] <Jonah> Should have taken those gun lessons in Paladin school, but nooooooo I could shoot beams from my sword why did I need a gun.
[10:30] <&Hebizuka> Just a tip here: you will need these.
[10:30] <Jonah> Fuck it. let's go through load-bearing gear.
[10:31] <&Hebizuka> =Load-bearing gear=
[10:31] <&Hebizuka> [Backpack] RM22SF tactical vest - Capacity 35 units - Ammo pouch (10 units) - Value 400 P$
[10:31] <Jonah> That's - alrighty.
[10:31] <Jonah> Let's go through the clothing crate, put on everything that's on there.
[10:31] <Jonah> Then I'll grab the vest.
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> =Clothing=
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Top - T-Shirt (Upper body, Shoulders) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 3 - [Dmg: 2.76/4]
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Bottom - Jeans (Lower body, Legs, Crotch) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 3 - [Dmg: 3.60/4]
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Footwear - Regular shoes - AC Light - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant - Weight: 5 - [Dmg: 3.52/4]
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Headgear - Medieval helmet - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF - Ballistic protective - Weight: 22 - [Dmg 1.11/4]
[10:32] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Body addon - Medieval armor top (Upper body) - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-resistant - Weight: Unsparable - [Dmg: 4/4]
[10:32] <Jonah> Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
[10:33] <&Hebizuka> Ahuh, it looks like we have mixed up the "paladin" order...
[10:33] <Jonah> I never wore armor while Paladining!
[10:33] <&Hebizuka> Oh well. You get the armor!~ *Really stingy*
[10:33] <Jonah> I just had like, a cloak!
[10:33] <Jonah> HOW DO YOU PUT THIS ON.
[10:33] <&Hebizuka> Look in the crate, there's an instruction manual.
[10:33] * Jonah proceeds to struggle hilariously with the clothing, including putting the helmet on sideways and the armor top backwards.
[10:33] <&Hebizuka> *mutter* Yes, really, I mean what the fuck did you really think we're that much antagonistic?
[10:34] <Jonah> ...Oh.
[10:34] <Jonah> Well, uhm.
[10:34] <Jonah> Thanks, then.
[10:34] <Jonah> Still grateful for the second chance at life by the by!
[10:34] <&Hebizuka> Well, wouldn't want to be caught dead with a helmet put the wrong way.
[10:34] * Jonah proceeds to put everything on nice and wholesome.
[10:34] * &Hebizuka 's tone is ambiguous enough.
[10:35] <Jonah> Then the vest, and the - well, let's go through meds.
[10:35] <Jonah> Having healing jazz hands was /awesome,/ now I have to use PILLS *grumble grumble^
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> Not necessarily.
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> =Meds=
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Blood Transfusion Kit (BTK) - Removes 5 units from the bleeding counter - Weight: 1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] First aid kit (FAK) - Heals damaged limbs, up to 7 HP. Cannot heal disabled limbs. - Weight: 1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] First aid kit (FAK) - Heals damaged limbs, up to 7 HP. Cannot heal disabled limbs. - Weight: 1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] First aid kit (FAK) - Heals damaged limbs, up to 7 HP. Cannot heal disabled limbs. - Weight: 1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] White tablet - Paracetamol - Pain-30%, if more than one tablet is consumed in less than 10 turns, the user is poisoned. - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Syringe - Cyanide - Direct injection=instant death ; injection in edible items=nulls nutrition of item and makes it poisonous - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Syringe - Cyanide - Direct injection=instant death ; injection in edible items=nulls nutrition of item and makes it poisonous - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Syringe - Lorazepam - Induces forced sleep for 10 turns. Nothing can wake up the victim until the end of those 10 turns. - Weight: 0.1
[10:36] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Syringe - Lorazepam - Induces forced sleep for 10 turns. Nothing can wake up the victim until the end of those 10 turns. - Weight: 0.1
[10:37] <Jonah> Pills, potions, syringe - oh god what's a blood transfusion kit.
[10:37] <Jonah> Is. Is this a VAMPIRE thing.
[10:37] <&Hebizuka> Well, if you lose too much blood, here's replacement blood.
[10:37] <&Hebizuka> It's the contrary of a vampire.
[10:37] <Jonah> I am /reasonably sure/ this is totally a vampire thing. Whatever, I'm shoving it all in my vest pockets.
[10:38] <Jonah> Now food?
[10:38] <Jonah> Also, how hungry am I?
[10:38] <&Hebizuka> I dunno. You tell me?
[10:38] <&Hebizuka> *You're not hungry. In fact you strangely feel well-fed.*
[10:38] <Jonah> Because this 'putting my soul into a different body' thing is kinda weird. 
[10:38] <Jonah> Ahh, okay.
[10:42] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] 11/35
[10:43] <Jonah> Not as good as an actual backpack, but it'll do! Pockets are gods' gift to humankind.
[10:43] <Jonah> Food. Gotta feed the needy.
[10:43] <Jonah> The needy being me, BUT STILL.
[10:43] <&Hebizuka> =Food=
[10:43] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Bottle of sake. 3d6 - Inebriation +3d6/portion
[10:43] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Bottle of brandy. 4d7 - Inebriation +9d6 per portion
[10:44] <&Hebizuka> Well, you did say "Needy"...
[10:44] <Jonah> This is because I said I wanted to be a bartender.
[10:44] <&Hebizuka> All paladins end up broke and drunk.
[10:44] <&Hebizuka> Or dead.
[10:44] <Jonah> Sounds about right.
[10:44] <&Hebizuka> That's what I was told, anyway. Feel free to prove that wrong.
[10:45] <Jonah> Stuff 'em in my pockets. Worse comes to worst I'll pour 'em on a grave.
[10:45] <Jonah> Now - Other items.
[10:46] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] 13/35
[10:48] <&Hebizuka> *It's the smallest crate. In fact it's more like a toy box.*
[10:48] <&Hebizuka> =Other items=
[10:48] <&Hebizuka> [Valuable] Blue gem - Sapphire - Value 150-650 P$ (1d501 +149) - Weight: 0.1
[10:49] <Jonah> Shiny~ Auntie Helel was looking for one of these in treasure horde.
[10:49] <Jonah> Keeping it in a precious place!
[10:49] <&Hebizuka> Ew!
[10:49] <&Hebizuka> You have pockets for that!
[10:49] <Jonah> I MEANT MY POCKETS
[10:50] <Jonah> I WAS JUST PRAISING POCKETS AS A GIFT FROM THE DIVINE.
[10:50] <Jonah> ALSO GEMS HURT THERE, I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT.
[10:50] <&Hebizuka> Oh gods, she knows this for a fact.
[10:50] <&Hebizuka> What the FUCK happens in a paladin's life..
[10:50] <&Hebizuka> Anyhow. If you're done, you have three doors ahead of you... but you have left stuff behind.
[10:51] <Jonah> I'm gonna open the ammo box, stuff my ammo pouches full of them.
[10:51] <Jonah> Then I'll grab the GUNS and split.
[10:51] <&Hebizuka> Get used to them. '-'
[10:51] <Jonah> And you shut up about my lifestyle choices! It was a NECESSITY I tell you!
[10:52] <Jonah> So - ammo?
[10:53] <Jonah> Man if these caliburs or whatever don't fit my guns I'm gonna be pisssssed.
[10:53] <&Hebizuka> =Ammunition=
[10:53] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] 12 gauge, buckshot, 35 rounds - weight 1.75
[10:53] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: .357 Magnum/.38 Special 6-round speedloader. Weight: 0.5+0.12 (0.62) - [6/6, 6x .357 HP]
[10:53] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: .357 Magnum/.38 Special 6-round speedloader. Weight: 0.5+0.12 (0.62) - [6/6, 6x .357 HP]
[10:53] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: .357 Magnum/.38 Special 6-round speedloader. Weight: 0.5+0.12 (0.62) - [6/6, 6x .357 HP]
[10:55] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] Ammo pouch: 3.61/10
[10:57] <Jonah> 48 shots. More than enough to kill anything that moves?
[10:57] <&Hebizuka> Unless you miss.
[10:57] <&Hebizuka> Anyway... If you're done, then, good luck! 
[10:58] <Jonah> Why are you implying I'll need fourty eight shots to kill just the one thing.
[10:58] <Jonah> ANYWAYS
[10:58] <&Hebizuka> *Welcome to the Mazes, Jonah. To begin, type !mrooms3.*
[10:58] <Jonah> I'm gonna load my weapons first.
[10:58] <Jonah> Unless they came loaded.
[10:58] <&Hebizuka> No no, they're loaded.
[10:59] <Jonah> Oh goody.
[10:59] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[10:59] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 2003 - Front door: 2638 - Right door: 4226 - Roomstyle: 23 - Enemy strength: 1 /6
[10:59] <Jonah> CHARGE STRAIGHT AHEAD.
[10:59] <Jonah> 2638!
[11:00] <&Hebizuka> *Your first room is a kitchen. Currently, there is nobody there, at the exception of a maid, dutifully sweeping the floor with a broom.*
[11:01] <Jonah> Uhm - hello, Miss. Is there any way I could talk you into letting me have your groceries?
[11:01] <Jonah> Like, an apple or something?
[11:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] Huh? I'd help if I had anything but that kitchen is completely empty.
[11:02] <Jonah> I'd be willing to work for my meals! I've years of houseclean - damn.
[11:02] <Jonah> Alright, then. Thank you for your time.
[11:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] I'm cleaning here because that's part of my default work... *Dejected look*
[11:02] <Jonah> Mmmmm... I don't suppose you're in the mood for more exciting work?
[11:03] <Jonah> 'Cause I'm new 'round these parts, and I could use a friendly face to keep me company.
[11:03] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] Only if you have something to pay me. I have no employer anymore since he got shot, default wage sucks but if I must have a new master, I'd rather make sure it'll be worth it. 
[11:03] <Jonah> NOT IN THAT WAY.
[11:03] <Jonah> Mmmmm...
[11:03] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] *Rolls eyes*
[11:03] <Jonah> Well, I have this blue gem here. Would that be enough to cover initial expenses?
[11:03] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] Um... No, thanks. I must say no...
[11:04] * Jonah pulls it out of her pocket, making sure to angle it just so to catch the li - damn.
[11:04] <Jonah> Alright. Well - would asking for your number be too much? So that I can call you with a better offer once I have the coin.
[11:04] <Jonah> Wait. Do you guys do the cell phone thing?
[11:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] If only I had a phone. Yes, we have cell phones, I just don't have one. 
[11:05] <Jonah> Damn and double damn.
[11:05] <Jonah> Then - a name? On the off chance I meet you again.
[11:06] <~SU_Tempest> [Maid] Tammy Price. But don't worry about me, find a hiring bureau if you really want some companion, they might have what you want..
[11:06] <Jonah> Alright then, Tammy. My name's Jonah - thanks a lot for the advice.
[11:07] <Jonah> Good luck with your work!
[11:07] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[11:07] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 1989 - Front door: 3307 - Right door: 3731 - Roomstyle: 101 - Enemy strength: 6 /6
[11:07] <Jonah> That 6/6 is looking soooooo unappealing.
[11:07] <Jonah> Front door again.
[11:09] <Jonah> Screw it, 3307 again.
[11:09] <Jonah> Or rather, front door again.
[11:09] <&Hebizuka> *A grassy, featureless room. It's like a regular featureless room, but with a patch of grass instead of a concrete floor. Someone left behind a weapon here...*
[11:09] <Jonah> This reeks of trap.
[11:09] <Jonah> I'm gonna take a look around for signs of such.
[11:10] <Jonah> There's probably gonna be a tripwire or something that makes the weapon fire straight into my stomach.
[11:10] <Jonah> Or.
[11:10] <Jonah> Something.
[11:13] <Jonah> Right. Okay, so. Didn't see any open fires, so - right. Let's see the weapon now!
[11:13] <Jonah> Come oooooon, sword.
[11:13] <Jonah> Bayonet.
[11:13] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - ACS Hezi SM-1 assault rifle | .30 Carbine - Semi/Full | Light[APL,84%], Rail | M1 Carbine 30-round mag, +1 | Weight: 5 - [29+1/30, 30x FMJ] - Cond: Terrible / Clns: Clean
[11:13] <Jonah>  /Prison shan - DAMN IT.
[11:13] <&Hebizuka> *It looks horribly beat up.*
[11:13] <Jonah> It's a bit light, though...
[11:14] <Jonah> Into the backpack it goes. Maybe I can fix it up later.
[11:15] <Jonah> Still no hostiles, though...
[11:15] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[11:15] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 4791 - Front door: 515 - Right door: 4127 - Roomstyle: 38 - Enemy strength: 1 /6
[11:15] <Jonah> FRONT DOOR IT IS.
[11:16] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] 18.1/35
[11:18] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. You spot an object on the floor, and someone; it appears to be a tengu with a large handgun holstered on their thigh.*
[11:19] * Jonah immediately throws her open hands into the air!
[11:19] <Jonah> Don't shoot, I'm non-hostile!
[11:19] <~SU_Tempest> *The tengu raises an eyebrow.*
[11:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] That depends, should I be worried about you?
[11:20] <Jonah> Noooope. Just passing through. I have no idea how to use these guns at all beyond 'pull the trigger'.
[11:20] <Jonah> I'm a terrible shot. Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
[11:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] You should go get lessons in a range, or something.
[11:20] <Jonah> That's a /thing/ I can do?
[11:20] <Jonah> Uhm - any chance you could direct me to one?
[11:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] I suppose so? I don't know where the closest one is though.
[11:21] <Jonah> Ahhhh, alright.
[11:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Too busy guarding the area... 
[11:21] <Jonah> Er - guarding the area from what?
[11:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Hmm. You seem new.
[11:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Not from around here, are you?
[11:21] * Jonah takes a quick glance at the object in the meantime, trying not to offend the dangerously armed birdhead.
[11:21] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1
[11:22] <Jonah> "Nope. I'm a - a contestant, I think they said?"
[11:22] <Jonah> And, uh - need that bandage on the floor?
[11:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Ooooh. That explains a few things. Seems I was right you were an outside worlder... But a Contestant? Never thought I'd meet one.
[11:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] People throw away all kinds of trash. You can pick that up, we youkai have no need for these.
[11:24] <Jonah> They mentioned contestants, plural, so I'm not the only one - bu, do you know what we're here for?
[11:24] * Jonah moves closer to pick up the bandage and stuff it inside her while she's talking.
[11:24] <Jonah> Like, I'm grateful to Miss Hebizuka for that second chance at life, but. Why?
[11:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] There's only one Contestant as far as I know. So say the legends I was told and which I tell to my own kids...
[11:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Glad to see it's not just stories, though... Heh.
[11:25] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] 11.9/35
[11:25] <Jonah> Mmmm? But I'm... huh. Maybe it's only one Contestant at a time, then.
[11:26] <Jonah> Or alternate dimensions.
[11:26] <~SU_Tempest> *The youkai shrugs.*
[11:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Beats me.
[11:26] <Jonah> Glad I don't have to worry about anyone beating me to the punch, then.
[11:26] * Jonah flinches as the Tengu says 'beats me', knocking her from her train of thought.
[11:26] <Jonah> Oh, right - so; what are you guarding, and do you need any help?
[11:27] <Jonah> I mean, I'm probably just gonna be a meatshield, but I'm used to that!
[11:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Firstly, no, not really, and my peers wouldn't appreciate me being friendly with a human. Second, I am a youkai activist. We are in a war with the humans, but more specifically with the military, because they're going after us unjustly...
[11:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] I don't really think it has any uses being an asshole to every human I see, but you will probably meet people like me who think that way.
[11:28] <Jonah> Alright, so punch military assholes in the face. Got it.
[11:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Just be careful. You're probably going to be seen as a wildcard if people know you're a Contestant.
[11:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] There's a -lot- of stories and rumors out there.
[11:29] <Jonah> Alrighty. I'll try to keep my head down, then.
[11:29] <Jonah> And - any chance I can have your name, before I go?
[11:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Name's Kinoka. But don't go looking for me, okay?
[11:30] * Jonah tries to offer him a handshake. "Name's Jonah. We'll probably never see each other again, but it was nice talking to ya."
[11:30] <Jonah> No worries, I'll respect your privacy.
[11:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Good luck out there, stay safe.
[11:31] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[11:31] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 111 - Front door: 4436 - Right door: 1591 - Roomstyle: 416 - Enemy strength: 5 /6
[11:31] <Jonah> Front door, again!
[11:32] <&Hebizuka> *Complete change of environment; you find yourself in an office - four computers (all on, but idle), papers and dossiers everywhere; the paperscratcher and office rat's den. Nobody is around, though. 
[11:33] <Jonah> Right. Time to check those computers.
[11:33] <&Hebizuka> *They appear to be running Windows 95. Or something that looks like Windows 95 because it's not actually Windows 95.*
[11:33] <&Hebizuka> *They also ask you for a password.*
[11:33] * Jonah sits her pretty ass down on a nice chair - if, you know - those are around - and try to dig through the - balls.
[11:34] * Jonah types in - wait no her Paladin Sense is tingling.
[11:34] * Jonah steps far away from the computers and just skim through the papers and dossiers.
[11:34] <Jonah> Come on, relevancy! Hints, memos for secret doors, /anything./
[11:34] <&Hebizuka> [Paper] "This week's password is TK4DLF. PLEASE don't share it with Reuben, he's banned from the office."
[11:35] <Jonah> That's.
[11:35] <Jonah> That is certainly relevant.
[11:35] <Jonah> Alright.
[11:35] * Jonah sits her pretty ass down on a nice chair - if, you know - those are around - and types in the password.
[11:35] <&Hebizuka> *They are around, and they're comfortable 6-wheeled office chairs. Brand new.*
[11:35] <Jonah> God I hope that paper wasn't older than a week.
[11:35] <Jonah> Sweet. They even have the reclining cushions!
[11:36] <&Hebizuka> *The computer welcomes you with a chime, but says "Hello, Therock046!"
[11:36] <Jonah> Alllrighty.
[11:37] <Jonah> In order - dig through the documents, play a sweet round of Minesweeper, then leave incriminating porn on the website history.
[11:37] <&Hebizuka> *There is nary a file on the desktop aside for one called "WORK", a computer icon which says "Access network", and an image file called "tkdh67.jpg". There is also no games installed.*
[11:37] <Jonah> Because anyone who leaves their password in plain sight deserves - awwww.
[11:38] <Jonah> Alrighty, Work it is.
[11:38] <Jonah> ...And bring up the image 'cause why not.
[11:38] <&Hebizuka> *Several dozens of text and document files, all of which pertaining to record keeping. You learn this place is apparently a record keeping office, which specializes in annoying paperwork and red tape.*
[11:39] <Jonah> Mmmmm. Wait, record keeping office?
[11:39] <Jonah> Ohohohohoh, time to forge some documents, baby.
[11:39] <Jonah> Let's see if I can't bring up a copy of Tammy Pierce's contract.
[11:40] <&Hebizuka> *Skimming through the documents tell you recordkeeping offices perform this paperwork in order to keep a trace of inventory sales and purchases - mainly, what shops sold what, on what days.*
[11:40] <&Hebizuka> *The problem is that except for what you find in "WORK", which is mostly irrelevant documentation, the actual archives are locked and the password you have is no good.*
[11:40] <Jonah> BALLS.
[11:40] <&Hebizuka> *You also learn office drones don't do shit.*
[11:41] <Jonah> Right then. The image file?
[11:41] <&Hebizuka> *A selfie of a cute asian girl. Safe for work. The background appears to be some sort of bedroom.*
[11:41] <&Hebizuka> *She is smiling, and looks no older than 19.*
[11:42] <Jonah> ...Miss Hebizuka, why is my penis tingling and hardening.
[11:42] <Jonah> I think you made a mistake with my body.
[11:42] <&Hebizuka> *The loudspeaker in the room (there is one in every room) begins creaking*
[11:42] <&Hebizuka> You are a hopeless pervert.
[11:42] <&Hebizuka> *Click*
[11:42] <Jonah> Welp.
[11:42] <Jonah> Might as well roll with it. Can I print the picture out?
[11:43] <Jonah> Maybe I can use it as bartering material for fetishists.
[11:43] <Jonah> Or use it as fuel for a fire, either or.
[11:43] <&Hebizuka> *There is one printer for four computers, and you can certainly use it to print the photo.*
[11:44] <Jonah> Print it is!
[11:44] <Jonah> And, in the meantime - let's see what's on the network.
[11:45] <&Hebizuka> [Meaningless item] Print of tkdh67.jpg - A SFW selfie of a cute asian girl. She looks about 19 years old.
[11:45] <&Hebizuka> *The "network" icon brings up two icons: "Local network" and "MazeNet".*
[11:45] <Jonah> Oh - Miss Hebizuka. I'm reasonably sure that there are cameras, since, well. You have to be able to keep track of my progress somehow.
[11:46] <Jonah> If I do anything illegal, do you report that?
[11:46] * &Hebizuka isn't replying.
[11:46] <Jonah> Or does there have to be someone in the room?
[11:46] <Jonah> Ahhh well.
[11:46] <Jonah> Local Network first.
[11:46] <&Hebizuka> *It is used to access the other three computers. It's LAN, but it doesn't look like it works.*
[11:46] <&Hebizuka> *An error message appears.*
[11:47] <Jonah> Mazenet?
[11:47] <Jonah> Time to leave some terrible browser history, baby.
[11:47] <&Hebizuka> *An application opens (slowly). It appears to be the equivalent of an internet navigator.*
[11:48] <Jonah> Time to websearch for... hmmm.
[11:48] <&Hebizuka> [Computer] Welcome to MazeNet, the Mazes' intranet.
[11:48] <Jonah> Let's try youkai porn.
[11:48] <&Hebizuka> *There's also a search engine, of course.*
[11:48] <Jonah> Oh, goody. Then search for youkai porn.
[11:48] <Jonah> And then see what else is in search history.
[11:49] <&Hebizuka> *The search history is empty.*
[11:50] <Jonah> Alrighty. Youkai porn, print that out too 'cause why not, then let's see if I can't get any directions to a gun range.
[11:50] <&Hebizuka> *More than 100 websites reply to your search of: "youkai porn", the most obvious of which is called "Underground Fetish Gallery - Thousands of stolen pictures of every creature possible"*
[11:51] <Jonah> ...Underground Fetish Gallery it is.
[11:51] <Jonah> I am totally doing this because it will give me great insight into the anatomy and weak points of the creatures I may or may not face.
[11:51] <Jonah> And totally not because it makes me tingle.
[11:51] <&Hebizuka> *You're welcomed by a frontpage with about 25 pictures of things ranging from animal porn to bathroom voyeurism.*
[11:52] <&Hebizuka> *There's literally hundreds of categories, most of which are really just creature names.*
[11:53] <Jonah> Riiiiiiight. Well, let's look up 'wargs', whatever those are, dragons for Auntie Helel when I get out of here, and.... screw it, kitsune for me.
[11:53] <Jonah> Seriously, Auntie Helel needs to find a nice gold dragon that'll take care of her.
[11:54] <&Hebizuka> *Warg returns 814 results. All of which of the same blonde human being screwed by a horny warg. You learn that a warg is apparently a giant demon wolf.*
[11:56] <&Hebizuka> *Dragon returns 961 results, ranging from hand-drawn pictures of stylized safe for work dragons, to shoddy pictures of actual dragons being shot and killed, and the occasional picture of what is described as a "Vere Celen", the "perverted dragon". With very close up-shots of their massive... er... Arguments.*
[11:57] <Jonah> Riiiiiight. Uhm - any chance there's info on what guns were used to kill the dragons?
[11:57] <Jonah> Because I'd usually just use a /sword/ so... yeah, there's usually descriptive text on these sorts of things...
[11:57] <&Hebizuka> *Kitsune returns thousands and thousands of results, most of which are voyeur, with the occasional very rare professional stuff. You see their ears and tails can be any number of fox fur colors, and their tails vary in number between one and nine, but most seem to have only one or two.*
[11:57] <&Hebizuka> *The dragon combat pictures mostly depict Soldiers with various firearms.*
[11:58] <&Hebizuka> *It's too blurry to check what precisely, you can just tell it's long guns.*
[11:59] <Jonah> And no, like written description? Damn.
[11:59] <Jonah> Okay, so - wargs, demon wolves, looks like their fur's kinda tough.
[11:59] <&Hebizuka> [Website] "soldiers fighting aer dragon_001.jpg", and so on.
[11:59] <Jonah> So, shoot 'em in the mouth.
[12:00] <Jonah> Dragons are huge dicks so, naturally, shoot 'em in the dick...
[12:00] <Jonah> And kitsune - anything on, like, tail pulling or whatever?
[12:01] <Jonah> And - you know what, screw it.
[12:01] <Jonah> Let's see if Miss Hebizuka is on here.
[12:02] <Jonah> Worse comes to worst I will /blackmail the shit out of her./
[12:02] <&Hebizuka> *No results on "Hebizuka".*
[12:02] <Jonah> Booooooooooo.
[12:02] <Jonah> I wanted to know if you were as pretty as you sounded.
[12:03] <Jonah> Alrighty - the printer's still working, yes?
[12:03] <&Hebizuka> *It is.*
[12:03] <Jonah> Time to print out a bestiality picture of the warg for identification purposes, a picture of the dragon hunting for a maaaaybe chance of being able to match the gun.
[12:04] <Jonah> Another regular dragon picture 'cause that's what Auntie Helel likes.
[12:04] <Jonah> And a picture of a professional kitsune porn star 'cause WHY NOT.
[12:04] <&Hebizuka> [Meaningless item] Print of wargfucksblonde061.jpg - Warg bestiality porn picture. Shows clearly the anatomy of a warg.
[12:05] <&Hebizuka> [Meaningless item] Print of stylish_dragon_picture_178.jpg - Just a hand-drawn dragon.
[12:06] <&Hebizuka> [Meaningless item] Print of HTProd_Sonomi_Set2_098.jpg - A picture from a photo-shoot of a professional kitsune porn actress.
[12:07] <Jonah> And one of the dragon hunting, so I can remember they used a rifle of some sort.
[12:07] <Jonah> While that's printing... does Mazeworld have a free email account thing?
[12:07] <Jonah> Let's see...
[12:09] <&Hebizuka> [Meaningless item] Print of mzsolfighting_aerdragon.png - A blurry picture of Soldiers fighting an Aer Dragon with unidentifiable long guns.
[12:11] <&Hebizuka> *A few websites reply to your search of "email", with one obvious website being apparently the most relevant: "Intranet Messenger"*
[12:12] <Jonah> Right. Let's set up some IMs, then.
[12:12] <Jonah> And image search for Tammy Pierce 'cause WHY NOT.
[12:13] <Jonah> Also. I am hella surprised no one's like, come back from their lunch break or whatever.
[12:13] <Jonah> ...Having said that.
[12:13] <&Hebizuka> *The front page first and foremost ask for a full ID, an occupation and a 'Sign up identification number (SUID#)'. The tooltip about the SUID# talks about an unique identification number which is used to verify requests of signing up to the messenger service, and which can only be used by authorized professions.*
[12:13] <&Hebizuka> *In other words, it appears you can't sign up.*
[12:13] * Jonah places her magnum right next to the keyboard, just in case.
[12:13] <Jonah> Oh?
[12:13] <Jonah> Well.
[12:13] <Jonah> I have an identification number...
[12:14] <&Hebizuka> *No websites reply to your search of "Tammy Pierce", but a help bubble displays: "Are you searching for people? Use the Citizen Database."*
[12:14] <Jonah> Let's type in my name, Contestant for Occupation, and 409 for the SUID.
[12:14] <&Hebizuka> *Access denied: Login doesn't exist*
[12:14] <Jonah> Since that was the number on the letter when I started.
[12:15] <Jonah> Booooooo.
[12:15] <Jonah> Alright - Citizen Database it is!
[12:15] <&Hebizuka> *A clean website which resembles a cross between Google and the Yellow Pages, except it's an all blue site.*
[12:15] <&Hebizuka> *It asks you for a first name, a last name, other details you might be aware of, and a level of authorization.*
[12:16] <&Hebizuka> *There are four levels: "Normal", "Law enforcement", "Military", and "Administrator".*
[12:16] <Jonah> Tammy Pierce, maid, default pay, and - well, I guess I'm Normal.
[12:19] <Jonah> Mmmm. Wonder if I can get a photo album for all these pictures.
[12:19] <Jonah> Or, like, a manilla folder. Getting these things scratched would be /terrible./
[12:26] <&Hebizuka> *You find no such things in the office.*
[12:27] <Jonah> That'd be too easy. And is the computer /still/ loading Tammy's profile?
[12:27] <Jonah> ...Of course it is,
[12:27] <Jonah> .
[12:28] <&Hebizuka> *Freaking Windows 95 copy.*
[12:29] <&Hebizuka> [Citizen Database] No results found for "Tammy Pierce". 
[12:29] <Jonah> Miss Hebizuka? /My/ world had better internet, and we were basically a mideival fantasy world.
[12:29] <Jonah> Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls
[12:30] <Jonah> Um. Tammy Price?
[12:30] <Jonah> Maybe her price will be right, hey oh.
[12:30] <Jonah> ...Wow that was fucking terrible.
[12:30] <&Hebizuka> [Citizen Database] Found 1 file for "Tammy Price". Access?
[12:30] <Jonah> Yes please!
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> *At 'Normal' authorization levels, you can only access "vital information" and the public section of "other known info".*
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> [1. Vital information]
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> First name: Tammy
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> Last name (or known name): Price
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> Known nicknames: None
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> Species: Human
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> Current status: Alive
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> [6. Other known information]
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> >Publicly known
[12:32] <&Hebizuka> No publicly known details.
[12:32] <Jonah> Mmmm. Wonder if she has any family.
[12:32] <Jonah> Quick scan for Price, please?
[12:33] <Jonah> And.
[12:33] <Jonah> Waaait a second.
[12:33] <Jonah> I /have/ an administrator password.
[12:33] <Jonah> Let's try this again with admin level of access.
[12:33] <Jonah> Putting in password TK4DLF.
[12:33] <&Hebizuka> *Access denied*
[12:34] <Jonah> Too easy, of course.
[12:34] <Jonah> Alrighty - last name Price, information 'relation to Tammy Price'.
[12:34] <&Hebizuka> *There is no section for known family anywhere on ID pages at all; which supposes this kind of information isn't even known.*
[12:35] <Jonah> Hmmmmm.
[12:35] <Jonah> That /is/ odd.
[12:35] <Jonah> N family, so... what, people just don't breed here?
[12:35] <Jonah> But there are civilians, so they'd have to live out their lives here...
[12:35] <Jonah> Unless they're spirited away as babes? But that doesn't make any sense, who would raise them?
[12:36] <Jonah> ...There could be an adoption agency, maybe...
[12:36] <&Hebizuka> *So many questions indeed...*
[12:36] <Jonah> In conclusion - Mazeworld is fucked.
[12:37] <Jonah> Let's search for Jonah really quickly, and then be done with this whole affair.
[12:37] <&Hebizuka> *No results.*
[12:38] <Jonah> Goody.
[12:38] <Jonah> Uhm - were there any writing implements in the office?
[12:38] <&Hebizuka> *There's a huge supply of paper and pens.*
[12:40] <Jonah> Three sheets of paper, and two pens it is.
[12:40] <Jonah> (Assuming these are /also/ meaningless items, I just maxed them out.)
[12:40] <Jonah> Alrighty then.
[12:40] <&Hebizuka> (No need, pen and paper and just taking notes isn't tracked)
[12:41] <Jonah> Leave that gorgeous video of Sonomi running, and...
[12:41] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[12:41] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 5035 - Front door: 6298 - Right door: 4602 - Roomstyle: 42 - Enemy strength: 4 /6
[12:41] <Jonah> Front door it is.
[12:43] <&Hebizuka> *A mess hall, with many rows of tables and chairs, but all of them are unoccupied. It's a large empty room for now. You spot some clothing on the floor...*
[12:43] <Jonah> Take a deep breath, Jonah - check for traps, /then/ food.
[12:44] <&Hebizuka> *No traps here either.*
[12:44] <Jonah> What tripwires or semi-obvious pressure plates do I spy with my little eye?
[12:44] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Legs addon - Twaron leg pads - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Fire-retardant - Weight: 5 - [Dmg 1.31/4]
[12:44] <&Hebizuka> *You see no food; not even leftovers.*
[12:44] <Jonah> Alrighty!
[12:44] <Jonah> Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
[12:44] <Jonah> Well, at least there's some armor.
[12:45] <Jonah> I'll sit down for a breather and put them on.
[12:45] <Jonah> After that... well, there's no food, so.
[12:45] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[12:45] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 1363 - Front door: 5044 - Right door: 4293 - Roomstyle: 350 - Enemy strength: 2 /6
[12:45] <Jonah> Front door it is.
[12:47] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. Two creatures are lurking about here. Of all things, it's two gorillas.*
[12:48] <Jonah> And look at me, all out of bananas.
[12:48] <Jonah> I couldn't even eat these two if I wanted to. I'd get AIDs.
[12:49] <Jonah> Alrighty. Keep the magnum in your dominant hand, and just kinda hug the walls.
[12:49] <Jonah> Don't aggro, don't aggro...
[12:49] <Jonah> (Can I get to a door without them attacking me?)
[12:49] <&Hebizuka> (That's an attempt to escape, and this is a 2d6.)
[12:50] <Jonah> @roll 2d6
[12:50] <MazeBot> Jonah: 8
[12:51] <&Hebizuka> *You slip past the gorillas, without a noise. You can roll the next doors.*
[12:51] <Jonah> !mrooms3
[12:51] <&Hebizuka> [  Jonah  ] Left door: 4936 - Front door: 4481 - Right door: 6227 - Roomstyle: 429 - Enemy strength: 4 /6
[12:51] <Jonah> Front door it is.
[12:52] <&Hebizuka> *Another regular, featureless room. A strange object is sitting on the floor, and you see only one door here (!mrooms1).*
[12:53] <Jonah> Once again, gotta search for traps.
[12:53] <&Hebizuka> *And once again there are none
[12:53] <Jonah> And take a glance at the object while I'm at it.
[12:53] <&Hebizuka> [Item] A hollow metal pipe. Some sort of metallic tube-shaped contraption. What could it be possibly used for?
[12:54] <Jonah> Welllll.
[12:54] <Jonah> How long is it?
[12:55] <Jonah> Ah, damn, I don't have a ruler on me.
[12:55] <&Hebizuka> *A little longer than your hand.*
[12:55] <Jonah> Damn.
[12:55] <Jonah> No sword-analogue for me.
[12:55] <Jonah> Well, let's shove it in the pack, and call it a... a day?
[12:55] <Jonah> A night?
[12:56] <Jonah> Time is wonky yo.
[12:56] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] 12.9/35
[12:56] <&Hebizuka> Checkout
[12:57] <&Hebizuka> 7 rooms, 0 kills, 0 SEs, 0 missions, 0 Amulets, 0 P$, 0 runs
[12:57] <&Hebizuka> Total score 7 pts
[12:57] <&Hebizuka> Position 8th 
[12:58] <&Hebizuka> *No combat happened today, so no combat stats and no achievement progress*
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