Log:Session 45 (Meta, no ontology)

[13:44] <&Hebizuka> *Welcome back to the Mazes, Jonah. You have visited 161 rooms, the next special one is at the 168th. You are feeling satiated and you are drunk, beware. Your allies Raider and Ayako seem okay, though the latter is hungry. !mrooms3 to continue.* [13:44] <+Jonah> ...Ehehehehehe. [13:44] <+Jonah> Jonah just remembered something~! [13:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I'm hungry! [13:44] <+Jonah> Ayako, Ayako. Tanuki can ~transform~, yes yes? [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Wait, what? [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Uh, yeah, I can transform... But I'm hungry. [13:45] <+Jonah> Wait what what? [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] They can? [13:45] <+Jonah> Hmmm - so you can't transform into something with a fuller stomach, Ayako? [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] No... [13:45] <+Jonah> I - I thought they can. They use, like. Leaves and stuff. [13:46] <+Jonah> Awwwww. [13:46] <+Jonah> Okay, then. [13:46] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [13:46] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2161 - Front door: 1770 - Right door: 4462 - Roomstyle: 336 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [13:46] <+Jonah> Front door, 'cause front means food! [13:49] <&Hebizuka> *A washitsu. There is a youkai activist living here, apparently sitting in front of the radio - which is on (@radio to listen). That youkai is a kasha carrying a sniper rifle. You also notice other items on the floor...* [13:51] <+Jonah> @radio [13:51] <MazeBot> [Techno/Trance/Electro] Psy-wave FM with DJ PYa 7N21 - http://bit.ly/1arfnTr [13:51] <+Jonah> ...Well, no time like the present. I thinks. [13:52] <+Jonah> Hello, theres! Are these items on the floor yours? [13:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Kasha] What items?... [13:54] <~SU_Tempest> *The Kasha is apparently unaware of the trash in their own room.* [13:55] <+Jonah> Well, uh - stuff like... [13:56] * +Jonah saunters over to the trash/loot/junk, and holds whatever it is up. [13:56] <&Hebizuka> [Item] A pair of rubber handles. A pair of rubber gripping handles with finger grooves, which have been torn off of something. Wonder what they're used for. [13:57] <+Jonah> Oh. Nevermind. [13:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Kasha] I had no idea this stuff was even in my room... [13:58] <+Jonah> Well, alright. [13:58] <+Jonah> Oh, uhm. [13:58] <+Jonah> Do you have any food on you? My friend here is super hungry. I can pay! Or trade. [13:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Kasha] No sorry... I don't have anything here... maybe, I don't fricking know... *The Kasha suddenly headdesks.* [14:00] <+Jonah> That's, uhm, hey - no no don't do that, you'll hurt your head! [14:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Kasha] Bleghhh... [14:00] <+Jonah> Are you okay? Did you get brain damage from fighting? [14:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I don't think that kasha is okay... [14:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] We should get out of here... [14:01] <+Jonah> That's - maybe you're right. [14:01] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [14:01] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3400 - Front door: 387 - Right door: 2352 - Roomstyle: 336 - Enemy strength: 4 /6 [14:01] <+Jonah> Front door go go go. [14:06] <&Hebizuka> *ANOTHER washitsu. This one is inhabited by a tengu with a large rifle. There is a supply crate on the low table, and a television, which the avian youkai is watching (@whatsonTV to watch).* [14:06] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Shit... I hope it's not an activist sector... [14:07] <+Jonah> Welp. [14:07] <+Jonah> Uh - hey there! Is... is that supply crate yours? [14:07] <+Jonah> @whatsonTV [14:07] <MazeBot> [Thriller] MacAwashiro [14:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Shhh! Not during my episode! [14:07] * +Jonah shuts the fuck up, and examines the supply crate. [14:08] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako takes a peek. Notices the crate is marked "DEF-5" and seems to contain armor.* [14:09] * +Jonah tiptoes over to the supply crate, and opens it. Quietly. [14:09] <&Hebizuka> *Roll a 2d6 to open it quietly.* [14:10] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [14:10] <MazeBot> Jonah: 7 [14:11] <&Hebizuka> *You succeed... just barely. The tengu is still glued to his episode of wonder kappa.* [14:11] <&Hebizuka> =DEF-5 crate= [14:11] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Headgear - Twaron helmet - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-resistant - Ballistic protective, fire-retardant - Weight: 9 - [Cond: Brand new] [14:11] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Body addon - Twaron vest (Upper body) - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Fire-retardant - Weight: 9 - [Cond: Brand new] [14:11] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Arms addon - Twaron arm pads - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Fire-retardant - Weight: 5 - [Cond: Brand new] [14:11] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Legs addon - Twaron leg pads - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Fire-retardant - Weight: 5 - [Cond: Brand new] [14:13] <&Hebizuka> *You can take whatever you need.* [14:13] * +Jonah gestures Ayako to come over and put the armor on, keeping one finger against her own lips to emphasize silence. [14:13] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako shrugs.* [14:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] *Mutter* I can't wear any of that... [14:15] <+Jonah> ...You can't wha - [14:15] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider gestures, asking if he can take some of it.* [14:16] * +Jonah suppresses the desire to cry, putting on the leg pads before giving the rest to Raider. [14:16] <~SU_Tempest> *He only takes the arm pads, apparently not needing the rest.* [14:16] <+Jonah> This is a loan, I'll want these back if our contract isn't renewed. [14:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] My contract includes equipment, so you'll have whatever you want. [14:16] <+Jonah> Ngghhh. [14:17] <+Jonah> *How much is in my backpack again?* [14:17] <~SU_Tempest> *Worn!* [14:18] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/main) 57.48/60 [14:18] <&Hebizuka> *You need 18 free units of space to carry the helmet and vest.* [14:18] <+Jonah> Fuuuck. [14:19] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [14:19] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 7059 - Front door: 6796 - Right door: 2387 - Roomstyle: 196 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [14:19] <+Jonah> Front door. [14:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Wait, what's the matter? [14:20] <+Jonah> Not enough room to carry anything. [14:20] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider shrugs and shoves the armor and helmet in his pack.* [14:20] <~SU_Tempest> *Which do have enough space.* [14:20] <+Jonah> ...Oh. [14:20] <+Jonah> Thanks. [14:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Let's go. [14:23] <&Hebizuka> *On to the next room...* [14:26] <&Hebizuka> *You hear Ayako's stomach growl loudly.* [14:27] <&Hebizuka> *An outside area. Daytime farmlands. You see here two things: a small piece of abandoned food on the ground, and to your great surprise, a leprechaun lurking in the tall grass...* [14:28] <+Jonah> A - well. [14:28] <+Jonah> Top... top o' the morning to you! [14:28] * +Jonah tips her helmet at the green wee bastard, before scanning the food for signs of POISON or BETRAYAL. [14:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Lep] The fuck? [14:28] <&Hebizuka> *ICIS identified* [Food] Dessert - Biscuit. 1d2 [14:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Lep] It's a fight ye want? [14:29] <+Jonah> Nae, good sir! We be just two young maidens on an adventure, with a chaperone to guide us! [14:30] * +Jonah then proceeds to toss the food to Ayako. It'll keep her going. For a few seconds. [14:30] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako swallows it instead of catching it. Yes, she gnaws on the biscuit as it flies in mid-air.* [14:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] ...I want mooore... [14:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Lep] Listen up you three little bastards, don't get in me way and gimme ye cash! [14:31] <+Jonah> Little!? We be taller than you, ya angray madget [14:31] <+Jonah> ! [14:32] <+Jonah> Go taste the rainbow before I fe-fi-fo-fum and eat the son of an Irishman! [14:33] <~SU_Tempest> *The leprechaun gets impossibly angry! It's a fight!* [14:33] <+Jonah> @cover [14:33] <MazeBot> A metallic file case. (Health: 30, LDV modifier: -2. AC Eqv: Kevlar-2. Pass-through threshold: 8+ dmg. Pain modifier: x0.75) [14:34] * +Jonah reaches the cover in a flash thanks to NINJA SPEED. [14:34] <+Jonah> ALSO, WHY IS THERE A FILE CASE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FARM. [14:34] <&Hebizuka> *There's a LOT of trash...* [14:35] <&Hebizuka> *You make it behind cover. Ayako feels confused, doesn't do a thing. Raider doesn't follow you behind cover, drawing his handgun instead and getting reading to puncture the leprechaun with three shots.* [14:35] <&Hebizuka> *You successfully made it behind cover, what will you do?* [14:36] <+Jonah> *Let's test this baby out~!* [14:37] <+Jonah> *Dragonbane, 1 aimed shot to the torso with scope, Leprechaun.* [14:37] <&Hebizuka> *The Irish creature wants to zoom towards you, grabby hands ahead, to ... do something? What can a leprechaun possibly do to harm you?* [14:38] <&Hebizuka> *Order: You, Raider, Leprechaun* [14:38] <&Hebizuka> *You may roll first.* [14:38] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [14:38] <MazeBot> Jonah: 8 [14:39] <&Hebizuka> *Bipod: FT-1. Scope mode, FT-1.* [14:39] <&Hebizuka> *Shot 1: Hit.* [14:41] <&Hebizuka> *The bullet zips right through the Leprechaun - it massively overpenetrates the tiny creature! So much, in fact, that the leprechaun survives - not without feeling a lot of pain, but it does. A lot of the energy is lost.* [14:42] <+Jonah> Remind me to aim for the head next time! [14:42] <&Hebizuka> *Raider's turn...* [14:42] <&Hebizuka> *He aligns his M9 on the tiny humanoid's torso and fires three times.* [14:42] <&Hebizuka> @roll 3#2d6 [14:42] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 2;11;10 [14:42] <&Hebizuka> *No malfunction!* [14:42] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-3: Miss, Hit, Hit.* [14:43] <&Hebizuka> *This is enough to put the Leprechaun down.* [14:43] <&Hebizuka> "Raider" [Beretta M9] Leprechaun [14:43] <&Hebizuka> *End of fight! (1 turn)* [14:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I have no idea what just happened... [14:45] <+Jonah> Ayako, we just got you food. [14:45] * +Jonah takes a moment to reload the one shot she fired from the Dragonbane, and then takes out her Kabar knife for `butchering~ [14:46] <&Hebizuka> [Reload] Custom Rem700 "Dragonbane", +1x SAP - [4+1/5, 5x SAP] [14:46] <&Hebizuka> *.338 Lapua Magnum SAP remaining: 59 in pack.* [14:47] <&Hebizuka> *You butcher the leprechaun. Unfortunately, the meat is so mangled you cannot even harvest anything substantial for eating.* [14:47] <&Hebizuka> *It's useless.* [14:49] <+Jonah> Ughh. [14:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Wow. I didn't expect my rounds to make wounds that ugly. [14:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I mean, it's just 9mm +P but... [14:50] <+Jonah> Come on ye wee bastard, tell me you had some chocolate in your pockets or something. [14:50] <&Hebizuka> *The dead leprechaun is not carrying anything of use.* [14:50] <+Jonah> *Not even a green tophat to wear?* [14:50] <&Hebizuka> *Too small for you.* [14:51] <+Jonah> Fucking waste of bullets I swear. [14:51] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [14:51] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 6621 - Front door: 771 - Right door: 2166 - Roomstyle: 169 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [14:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] One bastard creature off the map, at least. [14:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I fear though that your ammunition is far too expensive to waste for this. You should save it for tough stuff.. [14:52] * +Jonah kicks the leprechaun's mangled body before heading through the front door. "Ayako, come on, we're finding food soon!" [14:52] <+Jonah> Alternatively, I just shoot them in the head and eat their delicious torsos. [14:52] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako whines.* [14:53] <&Hebizuka> *A storage area. There is a fruit on the floor...* [14:53] <+Jonah> Thank /god./ [14:53] * +Jonah scans the fruit again, because fuck that poisoned apple bullshit. [14:54] <&Hebizuka> *ICIS identified* [Food] Fruit - Apricot. 1d6 [14:54] <+Jonah> Ayako, food! [14:54] * +Jonah tosses it right over to her. [14:54] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako immediately devours the apricot.* [14:54] <&Hebizuka> *She grimaces right afterward.* [14:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Blegh! It tastes like crap! [14:56] <+Jonah> Nghhhhhhhh. I hate vomitting I swear. [14:56] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [14:56] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3154 - Front door: 3922 - Right door: 2238 - Roomstyle: 519 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [14:57] <+Jonah> Come on, hang in there Ayako... [14:57] <~SU_Tempest> *Which way?* [14:58] <+Jonah> Front door. [14:59] <&Hebizuka> *A laundry room, with its washing machines. Nothing much here, though you spot a weapon on the floor.* [15:00] * +Jonah groans, and gives the weapon a quick look-see. [15:00] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 4 - AN/M14 incendiary grenade. Causes a fiery explosion which may set on fire its victims. Weight: 3/item [15:00] <+Jonah> Ayako, can you transform into something that eats metal? [15:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] That implies I can control WHAT I transform into... [15:01] * +Jonah stashes the incendiary in her third Class 4 slot. Maybe they can get some barbecue go - [15:01] <+Jonah> Wait /what./ [15:01] <+Jonah> You. Caaaan't? [15:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] No? I don't really use that ability often, it's for emergencies really... [15:01] <+Jonah> That's. [15:01] <+Jonah> Ayako, I am bringing you home with me. [15:01] <&Hebizuka> *AN/M14 equipped.* [15:01] <+Jonah> And I will introduce you o some Tanukis. [15:01] <+Jonah> Who will teach you how to Tanuki. [15:01] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [15:01] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 1996 - Front door: 6158 - Right door: 3348 - Roomstyle: 499 - Enemy strength: 5 /6 [15:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Shush... [15:02] <+Jonah> Let's go through the front door. [15:02] * +Jonah shushes. [15:02] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako seems miffed.* [15:03] * +Jonah debates the merits of backpeddling like a motherfucker as they go through the door. Damn drunkeness. [15:04] <&Hebizuka> *A shower room. Only one door (!mrooms1) ahead. Nothing much, all you see is an accessory on the floor...* [15:06] * +Jonah sighs, glancing at the accessory quickly. [15:09] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Bipod [15:09] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [15:09] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 6726 - Roomstyle: 50 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [15:09] <+Jonah> Come on, teleporter room. Come onnnnnn. [15:11] <&Hebizuka> *You make it inside a shrine. You see here an upbeat, active shrine maiden thanking goodbye a varied group of people; a yousei, a kappa, and a human student, telling them to please come back again, that she'll never thank them enough and that they're welcome. The group waves goodbye; you notice money in the donation box.* [15:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Kappa] You're the best miko ever, miss! I'll certainly come back! [15:12] <&Hebizuka> *A LOT of money.* [15:12] <+Jonah> ...God /damnit/ I just donated 800 smackers to the last shrine. [15:13] <+Jonah> And offered up Malika. [15:13] <~SU_Tempest> *The group leaves, and the shrine maiden sighs in relief.* [15:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Whew... *Then she notices you.* ...Praise the gods! Welcome to my shrine, you three! [15:15] <+Jonah> Uhm - hi, there. Business is booming, huh? [15:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Indeed! I'm not stopping since this morning. Gotta love it, huh? [15:16] <~SU_Tempest> *She sits down on the donation box, sighing in relief again.* [15:16] <+Jonah> ...Man, that's kinda impressive. Carolyn was always hard up for money. [15:17] <+Jonah> What's your secret, Miss Miko? [15:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Heh. I have no idea. I guess I'm just popular. [15:17] <~SU_Tempest> *She stands back up and extends a hand to shake.* [15:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Asuna Nakagawa, 24-year-old loyal servant of the Gods, since seven years! Pleasure to meet you, miss..? [15:18] * +Jonah stares at the wobbly hand - or is her head just swimming? - before shaking it gently. "Miss Jonah, the - Contestant?" [15:19] <+Jonah> Yes, the Contestant. [15:19] <+Jonah> ...Between you and me that's a really silly name. What am I Contesting, exactly? [15:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Ohhh! So you are the Contestant of the prophecies! Exciting, very exciting! The Gods guided you to me! I think you can actually help me with something... [15:25] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider idly dusts off his rifle, waiting for you to reply and listening quietly...* [15:27] * +Jonah shakes off the dazed look in her eyes, and the flashbacks from terrible priestesses asking her to do terrible things for terrible reasons slowly receded back into the corners of Jnah's terrible mind. [15:27] <+Jonah> Er - yes, yes, I'd be happy to help! Er - within reason, that is. [15:27] <+Jonah> Ayako here is... well she's slowly starvng to death, so we've been trying to find her food. [15:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Please hear me out, I'll help you back if you can solve this for me... It's a really pressing issue. Every so often, I'm... bullied by a group of demons. I'd defend myself alone if it was just one or two, but it's a -whole group-. They come in, tell me not to shoot or do anything, and I'm forced to watch them steal my donation cash, vandalize the shrine, or scare off my visitors. [15:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] I'm a devoted shrine maiden. This job is full-time, mentally and physically, and I can't leave this place outside of my allowed off time... I can't go out and chase them myself. You're a group of solid-looking fighters, though... [15:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Naturally there will be a substantial reward. I have no qualms about giving away shrine cash to those who are helping the cause. Please, Miss Contestant. For the Gods! This is a divine mission I'm asking you to accept... [15:30] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider raises an eyebrow but keeps his mouth shut. Ayako doesn't care, she LOOKS hungry.* [15:31] <+Jonah> That's - nghhhh. Yes, we can help you. [15:32] <+Jonah> *...Carolyn would kill me if I didn't.* [15:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Oh, praise the Gods; thank you! [15:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Listen. See this door, with the red cross I spray-painted on it? That's where the group of demons always come from. I suspect they actually live nearby, but as you know I can't leave this place. You guys go through it, okay? And kick their asses! ... if you allow me to speak like that, ehe. [15:33] <+Jonah> ...Alright, then. [15:34] <&Hebizuka> *Mission start!* [15:34] * +Jonah tries to keep the... apprehension out of her tone, but a Paladin's job never ends. [15:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] May Seiryuu give you courage! [15:34] <+Jonah> May Seiryuu give me food. [15:34] <&Hebizuka> *!mrooms1 to begin.* [15:35] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [15:35] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 3064 - Roomstyle: 388 - Enemy strength: 2 /6 [15:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] *mutter* I have the feeling that this is not going to be that simple, Jonah... [15:36] <&Hebizuka> *A scullery, with its dishwashers. You spot absolutely nothing of use here...* [15:36] <+Jonah> It's going to turn out that Asuna's a harlot or something, I've seen this setup before SO MANY times you would not believe. [15:37] <+Jonah> With any luck there's going to be a morally ambivalent succubus on the demon side who's offended that Asuna's moving in on her territory. [15:38] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [15:38] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 1802 - Roomstyle: 173 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [15:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Or, the demons are really fucking dangerous and she sent us on a suicide mission so that she can collect our gear later. [15:39] <+Jonah> Well yes, but I'm a Paladin.; [15:39] <+Jonah> Taking out demons is kinda my Thing. [15:39] <+Jonah> Alternatively we just run for it. [15:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I don't think we will have much of a choice. [15:40] <&Hebizuka> *Your vision blurs a little again.* [15:41] <&Hebizuka> *You get inside a scratched room, full of @graffiti on the walls. There is a supply crate on the floor...* [15:41] <+Jonah> There's always a choice. [15:41] <+Jonah> For example. I choose for there to be food in this supply crate. [15:41] <+Jonah> COME ON FOOD. [15:42] <+Jonah> @graffiti [15:42] <MazeBot> wat kinda shite did ya expect reading here dis time? [15:42] <&Hebizuka> *The crate is a Type-A crate and may contain various items. Open?* [15:43] <+Jonah> *Open* [15:43] <&Hebizuka> =Type-A crate= [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Bandage - Cures a single wound - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] White tablet - Diazepam - FT-1, Alertness increase, Pain sensitivity+10% for 2d6 turns - Weight: 0.1 [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Thermos of coffee. 2d11 - Strength+10%, Alertness increase for 6 turns per portion [15:43] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Fast-food - Sandwich. 1d15 [15:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] SCORE! [15:44] <+Jonah> WAIT LET ME SCAN IT FIRST. [15:44] * +Jonah desperately checks for poison before Ayako kills herself and/or vomits. [15:45] <~SU_Tempest> *The items are already identified.* [15:46] <+Jonah> Have at. All the coffee and the sandwich. [15:46] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako devours the sandwich and drinks the whole thermos.* [15:46] * +Jonah slips the bandages into her backpack, as well as the Diazepam. [15:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ahh... I feel better. [15:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I feel like... Like I can do a lot more! [15:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Jonah... That pill. What was it? [15:47] * +Jonah pulls Ayako into a warm, warm hug. [15:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Eep! [15:48] <+Jonah> There you go. You're not gonna die on my watch. [15:48] <+Jonah> And Raider - it's Diazepam, why? [15:48] <+Jonah> You junkie sometimes? [15:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Take it. I can see you're still a little drunk. Diazepam... I take that sometimes. It's good for shooting, makes you more stable. [15:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You'll feel on edge, like your nerves are shot up, but it's a good tradeoff. [15:49] <&Hebizuka> *Now carrying a total of 7 bandages in pack.* [15:50] <+Jonah> Hmmm... Well, I could go for a headshot or two. [15:51] * +Jonah shrugs, and pops the Diazepam into her mouth. [15:51] <+Jonah> Ngh. Watch as the extra pain sensitivity kills the fuck out of me. [15:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] That's why you don't get shot. You shoot them before they do. [15:52] * +Jonah points to her BULKY AS FUCK sniper rifle and her RELATIVELY BULKY AS FUCK shotgun. [15:52] <+Jonah> Also! [15:52] <+Jonah> Ayako! [15:52] <+Jonah> Think you're feeling strong enough to transform now? [15:52] <&Hebizuka> *You consume diazepam. Your vision sharpens, your alertness is already high, but feels as though it would've increased again... and your nerves are on edge, just as predicted.* [15:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] But I don't like transforming...* [15:54] <+Jonah> Oh - you don't? Why not? [15:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] What if I turn into an innocent little bunny? O-or or a disgusting headcrab? [15:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] All my gear on the floor and I'll turn into something useless or disgusting that gets shot easily! [15:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Or you turn into a gryphon and you kick ass for all of us... [15:54] <+Jonah> Then I'd love the bunny-you until you died a natural bunny death of old age. Same thing for the headcrab, if you don't rape my throat. [15:55] <+Jonah> It's okay to transform now, Ayako. you have us to protect you! [15:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Bwuh... If you insist... [15:55] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako is shape-shifting!* [15:56] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako quickly undresses, throwing away her weapons, and even every last piece of her clothing as her body morphs, in shape and color...* [15:56] <&Hebizuka> *A broken bottle, an AR-15 and a S&W 686 quickly find themselves on the floor.* [15:57] <+Jonah> Think you have enough room for the guns, Raider? [15:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Not sure.. [16:02] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako's body shifts shapes, and becomes bigger, and bigger, and bigger...* [16:03] <+Jonah> Oh baby. [16:03] <&Hebizuka> *Her limbs morph into huge, thick blocks. Her skin and every of her features turn an uniform metallic gray. Her facial features, bodily shapes, all grow into uniform, vaguely humanoid shapes. And she grows TALL.* [16:03] <+Jonah> OH BABY. [16:03] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako has shapeshifted into an Iron Golem.* [16:03] <+Jonah> Ayako, AYAKO. [16:03] <+Jonah> PLEASE GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE. [16:03] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako is now a mindless, inediate creature which is pretty much going to be a LITERAL WALL.* [16:03] <~SU_Tempest> *She cannot speak anymore.* [16:04] <~SU_Tempest> *But she still has a soul which barely replies to you and is still barely aware that you and Raider are friendlies. Things not to crush under her now gigantic fists.* [16:06] * +Jonah gently pats Ayako's... leg? Shin? Before doing some inventory management: [16:07] <&Hebizuka> *You see weapons on the floor.* [16:07] <+Jonah> Okay, so. 100 P$ from my leg rig to the money pouch. Laser sight from backpack pouch to leg rig... And then 686 revolver into my backpack. [16:07] <+Jonah> That should be juuuust enough. [16:07] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Smith & Wesson Model 686 revolver | .357 Magnum - Semi-auto | No accessory | Cylinder, 6 rounds | Weight: 5 - [6/6, 6x XPD] - Cond: Good / Clns: Clean [16:07] <+Jonah> Raider, think you can ge the rifle? [16:08] <&Hebizuka> *1479 P$ now in pouch.* [16:09] <&Hebizuka> *Moved: AN/PEQ-2A laser sight. Backpack/Main => Left rig* [16:10] <&Hebizuka> *Not enough space in your backpack to carry the 686... (Would reach 63.03/60)* [16:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Erm, well... I could carry it but I'd run out of space if I did... I can save the ammo instead though. [16:12] <+Jonah> Could you toss the helmet and vest instead to make room? [16:12] <+Jonah> Better weapons than armor, and Ayako certainly doesn't need it. [16:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Your call. [16:13] <&Hebizuka> *He drops vest and armor, and starts sparing the AR-15 instead.* [16:13] <+Jonah> Which reminds - I should probably fix the Protecta, now that Ayako isn't starving. [16:14] * +Jonah sits down to remove all the FRAG-12, and fill it in with buckshot from her vest, before removing the choke from the AA-12 and slotting it into the smaller shotgun. [16:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I can keep the revolver too, if you want. [16:16] <+Jonah> Took the words right out of my mouth. Sorry for using you like a pack mule. [16:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] It's my job. [16:17] <&Hebizuka> *Unloaded the Protecta. Obtained 12x 12 gauge FRAG-12, placed in backpack. Total carried: 18 in pack.* [16:17] <&Hebizuka> [Reload] Armsel Protecta: +12 Buck - [12/12, 12x Buck] [16:18] <&Hebizuka> *12 gauge buckshot remaining: 26 in pack* [16:19] <&Hebizuka> *Moved: 12x 12 gauge buckshot ; Vest/General => Pack/main* [16:19] <&Hebizuka> *Shells in vest: 66. Shell in pack: 38* [16:20] <&Hebizuka> *Removed the shotgun choke from AA-12, installed it on Protecta.* [16:20] <&Hebizuka> *All done.* [16:20] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Vest/General) 5.2/7 -- (Left rig) 4/4 -- (Pack/Main) 58.63/60 [16:25] <&Hebizuka> *Ready when you are.* [16:32] <+Jonah> Alright - now we're off! [16:32] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [16:32] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 3433 - Roomstyle: 383 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Let's roll... [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> *Golem!Ayako follows, thomping the ground every footstep.* [16:33] <+Jonah> OH MY GOD AYAKO YOU ARE ADORABLE [16:38] <&Hebizuka> *You reach a warehouse room. You see an entire mob of demons of all kinds, apparently waiting for someone - could it be they knew you were coming? Leading the group is an incubus, staring at you, arms crossed.* [16:38] <&Hebizuka> *Behind him, three horned devils (one with a shotgun, one with a submachine gun, and one with a sniper rifle), a Hell Knight, and a cerberus.* [16:39] <+Jonah> Well. [16:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] I think you might want to reconsider whatever it is you were trying to do... [16:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] We don't want to harm you, Contestant, but we know who sent you. I have a message for you, and perhaps you may want to hear it... You are outgunned and outnumbered six to three, so if I may... I urge you to hear me out. [16:41] <+Jonah> On the other hand we have an Iron Golem on our side, but - sure, talking never hurt anybody. [16:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gordian. And yes, we are the mod Asuna complains about. We attack her for a reason, though. [16:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Iduma, come here. [16:43] <~SU_Tempest> *One of the horned devils responds to that name, the one with the shotgun. The demon approaches you, and shows you photographs.* [16:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] This ought to make you reconsider just how faithful to the faith she is. [16:44] <+Jonah> My question is: Why does a horde of demons /care/ about the relative faith or faithlessness of a shrine maiden? [16:44] * +Jonah takes a gander at the pictures regardless. Are they porn? [16:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Look, before you ask. [16:45] <~SU_Tempest> *The photographs depict rather clearly Asuna having sex with an incubus... which looks like Gordian; either it is him, or a closely resembling demon.* [16:45] <+Jonah> ...Well, she certainly has good taste. [16:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] That is Darius, formerly my brother and colleague, now a pile of ashes. He was killed by one of Asuna's cronies; she contracted someone to kill him because... well, he threatened to reveal to everyone that someone who vowed faith and celibacy to the Gods just had sex with the very demons they're supposed to fight. [16:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] I don't need to explain just how utterly dishonorable she is. Even we have standards. [16:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] She paints herself as a tryhard model shrine maiden, and has done everything and a little extra on the side to make sure everyone around her would take pity on the poor, defenseless miko. But we are doing this to teach her a lesson... However, by sending you to kill me and my group, she is sending a message I can't ignore. It's one too many steps. [16:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Do you know how much cash she receives thanks to that ploy? [16:49] <+Jonah> I've seen it. It's kind of ridiculous, yeah. [16:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] We incubi do what we are born to do. Having sex is in our nature, you can hardly blame us for doing what's literally our punch clock job. [16:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] She on the other hand, needs punishment. I hate to ask this but, if you would please turn this situation and help me teach her a lesson. The ball's in your hand, but I strongly suggest you don't try to... attack us. We may be demons, but it's simply not true that we are all -evil-. [16:51] <+Jonah> Okay, question. [16:51] <+Jonah> What exactly do you plan to do to 'punish' her? [16:51] <+Jonah> Besides killing her dead. [16:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Killing her is the easy way. I'd certainly love to do that, but that won't solve a thing. If we just kill her like that, the entire sector will mourn her, the truth won't be out. We need to destroy her reputation. Her life doesn't matter as much as the way she is seen by the locals, to me. [16:53] <+Jonah> Alright. And what are you offering to me in exchange beyond 'not killing us where we stand?' [16:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] We will rid her of her donation box and offer you some. And... I might have something your crew might want. A really nice weapon. [16:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] And perhaps more, if you help me enough. [16:54] <+Jonah> @cover [16:54] <MazeBot> A wooden crate. (Health: 24, LDV modifier: -1. AC Eqv: Hardskin. Pass-through threshold: 6+ dmg. Pain modifier: x1) [16:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] What I propose is that I come with you, and we return to the shrine together. I alone. Not my whole mob. [16:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Then we use the photos to pressure her. [16:58] <+Jonah> ...I don't suppose I could have a moment of prayer? [16:58] <+Jonah> If the gods are okay with this, then I'll go along with your suggestion. [16:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] You'll understand that I have an allergy to anything religious. But do what you wish. Just don't force me to pray along. I'll be smitten. [16:59] <+Jonah> That /does bite./ [17:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] *Shrug, snicker* What can I say? I answer to Asmodeus, not Suzaku. [17:00] * +Jonah gets on her knees, clasps her hands in prayer, and, well, prays. [17:00] <~SU_Tempest> *Gordian looks away. Raider looks nervous.* [17:00] <+Jonah> *Not that I'll get a response but - any advice, gods?* [17:00] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako looks... like a golem.* [17:00] <+Jonah> By the by - how /does/ the demon hierarchy work? Does Lucifer get to order you around if he handpicks you for a special assignment or something? [17:01] <&Hebizuka> *You don't really get an answer. The gods are deaf to your pleas.* [17:01] <+Jonah> Or is he the hands off kinda leader? [17:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] I think the best way to explain it is... that we're more like a bureaucratic organization, and the Demon Lords are our bosses, each with their specializations... Mr. Lucifer is kind of the boss, yes, but he doesn't like to be seen as such. [17:03] <+Jonah> Interesting enough, I suppose... [17:03] <+Jonah> And the gods have answered. [17:03] * +Jonah gets up, gulps, and offers the incubus a handshake. [17:04] <+Jonah> We've a deal. You and us will head back to Miss Asuna. [17:04] <~SU_Tempest> *Gordian smiles, and shakes your hand back. He has a tight grip - as you'd expect from, well, a red-skinned hunk with horns and black hair that would probably be beautiful enough to contest in Mr Universe if he wasn't a fucking demon.* [17:04] <~SU_Tempest> *Literally.* [17:04] <+Jonah> *Demonhood only accentuates it really. If I wasn't gay as hell I'd be tapping that.* [17:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Well, this is sealed. I have one word. [17:05] <+Jonah> Sure. What's the word? [17:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Incubus] Three, in fact. Let's go. [17:06] <&Hebizuka> *You, your crew, and Gordian teleport back to the shrine.* [17:06] <+Jonah> @cover [17:06] <MazeBot> A fridge. (Health: 52, LDV modifier: -2. AC Eqv: Kevlar-3. Pass-through threshold: 10+ dmg. Pain modifier: x0.75) [17:06] <+Jonah> (For the shrine) [17:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Ah, you return- OH GODS. WHY DID YOU BRING HIM BACK. [17:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] JONAH? What is the MEANING of THIS? [17:08] <+Jonah> Well, a nice red skinned man told me you've been banging on the side. [17:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] Your days of lying are over, Asuna. The Contestant has chosen to expose the truth instead of listening to your sugar-coated pleas. [17:08] <~SU_Tempest> *He holds up the photos. Asuna needs not to know what they depict. She knows.* [17:09] <~SU_Tempest> *The shrine maiden's face turns to one of a flustered, confused person. Her face reddens, she's unable to deny the truth.* [17:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] H-how the... What... No... [17:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Jonah! Y-you're not going to side with a DEMON! You are betraying yourself! T-this is not what the Gods would want! [17:11] <+Jonah> You're right. [17:11] <+Jonah> But, on the other hand. [17:11] <+Jonah> You're banging dudes on the side. [17:11] <+Jonah> At the very least you should have stuck with succubi. [17:11] <+Jonah> No offense Gordian. [17:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] *Chuckle.* None taken. I like your sense of humor. [17:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Jonah, LISTEN TO ME, instead of making shitty jokes! [17:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] I want you to wake the hell up, and realize that you are dealing with a DEMON. He will fuck you over the first chance he gets! KILL HIM. I'll make it worth your while. I will make sure of it. Kill him! [17:13] <+Jonah> Okay, Gordian, you're not gonna like my sense of humor now. [17:13] <+Jonah> Asuna, are you offering me your body? [17:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] Don't listen to her. Stick to the plan. We are going to make copies of those pictures, and reveal those photos to everyone. [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] N-no, you dumbass! I'm offering you all I've got! Money! Divine protection! Anything you could ask for! [17:14] <+Jonah> Sorry lady, it's body or nothing. Last chance to offer. [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> *Gordian cannot repress a honest, hearty laugh.* [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] You bastard... You're corrupt, you're a demon just like him! [17:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] What does that make you? A pure and innocent lady? Please. You fucked my brother. [17:15] * +Jonah grins, and shrugs, and Ninja Speeds her way to the fridge, Protecta Shotgun in hand. [17:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] Hey Jonah. If you really want to have fun with her, we'll let you before we kill her. [17:16] <~SU_Tempest> *Do you confirm you're about to start a fight?* [17:16] <+Jonah> *Confrim* [17:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Shit. SHIT. [17:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] You betraying motherfucker! [17:17] <+Jonah> I TRIED, SHE WOULDN'T LET ME! [17:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] KOMAINU! KOMATORA! COME AND PROTECT ME! [17:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Gordian] ON ME, MY MINIONS! [17:18] <&Hebizuka> *Two divine creatures appear by Asuna's side, while Gordian's horned devils appear by his.* [17:19] <&Hebizuka> *Raider and Ayako are siding with you. Asuna and the shrine guardians side with you.* [17:20] <&Hebizuka> *Gordian and his aides side together against your group. The situation is a 6vs4 at your advantage.* [17:21] <&Hebizuka> *You have taken cover automatically thanks to Ninja Speed.* [17:23] <&Hebizuka> *Raider rushes to take cover as well, and is fast enough.* [17:23] <+Jonah> Sorry Raider. HONOR AND DUTY demanded this of me! [17:24] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako stands in the open and gets ready to crush Gordian with the trademark golem hulksmash.* [17:24] <+Jonah> YES! GO AYAKO GO! [17:24] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna rushes behind cover as well, and is fast enough.* [17:24] <&Hebizuka> *She orders the komainu and komatora to each attack a horned devil.* [17:25] <&Hebizuka> *Gordian looks for cover on his side...* [17:26] <&Hebizuka> @cover [17:26] <MazeBot> No cover at all! [17:26] <&Hebizuka> *...And finds none. That makes it a lot easier.* [17:26] <&Hebizuka> *Gordian goes all out and decides to attack you, going to throw an energy blast.* [17:27] <&Hebizuka> *The first horned devil (shotgun) aims at Ayako and fires five times.* [17:28] <&Hebizuka> *The second aims at the Komainu, and prepares to unload 11 rounds in full-auto.* [17:28] <&Hebizuka> *The third, lastly, aims his rifle at the komatora's head, using his scope and bipod to do so.* [17:29] <&Hebizuka> *Of everyone in this fight, you, Raider, and Asuna get however an advantage.* [17:29] <&Hebizuka> *What will you do?* [17:31] <+Jonah> *Protecta, 5 shots, Gordian's head.* [17:31] <&Hebizuka> *Do you wish to act before or after Raider?* [17:32] <+Jonah> *Before* [17:33] <&Hebizuka> *Raider raises his ARX-160. He turns on his laser sight, and uses his reflex sight to attack two targets; the third horned devil (8 shots, full-auto), and then Gordian (another 8 shots, full-auto).* [17:34] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna raises her Glock, and attacks the second horned devil, firing off five rounds.* [17:34] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 1.* [17:34] <&Hebizuka> *Order this turn: Asuna, You, Raider, HDevil2, Gordian, Komainu, Komatora, HDevil1, HDevil3, Ayako.* [17:36] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna's turn...* [17:36] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [17:36] <MazeBot> [HEAD] Head [17:36] <&Hebizuka> @roll 5#2d6 [17:36] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 10;3;6;6;10 [17:36] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-5: Hit, Miss, Miss, Miss, Hit.* [17:37] <&Hebizuka> *The second devil is struck twice in the head!* [17:37] <&Hebizuka> *He is instantly killed before getting the chance to do anything.* [17:37] <&Hebizuka> Asuna Nakagawa [Glock 17] Horned devil 2 /H\ [17:38] <&Hebizuka> *Not credited to you.* [17:38] <&Hebizuka> *Your turn. You may roll now.* [17:38] <+Jonah> @roll 5#2d6 [17:38] <MazeBot> Jonah: 3;7;3;9;9 [17:39] <&Hebizuka> *Aiming at: Head. Score -1 malus.* [17:39] <&Hebizuka> *No malfunctions occur.* [17:40] <&Hebizuka> *Shotgun choke: Score +1 bonus.* [17:40] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-5: Hit (2 pel), Hit (6 pel), Hit (2 pel), Hit (6 pel), Hit (7 pel) [17:41] <&Hebizuka> *Total hits: 5/5 - total pellets that hit: 23* [17:42] <&Hebizuka> *The incubus' cranium is reduced into pink mist. The rest of his body catches on fire spontaneously, and burns to ashes immediately.* [17:42] <&Hebizuka> Jonah [Protecta] Incubus /H\ [B] [17:43] <+Jonah> FUCK! I WAS GOING TO EAT YOU [17:43] <&Hebizuka> *Raider's turn...* [17:43] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim HDevil3 [17:43] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Torso (Chest, back) [17:43] <&Hebizuka> @roll 8#2d6 [17:43] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 5;8;4;7;6;7;11;9 [17:44] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim Gordian [17:44] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Upper body (Stomach, guts, lower back) [17:44] <&Hebizuka> @roll 8#2d6 [17:44] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 10;7;6;3;7;10;7;7 [17:44] <&Hebizuka> *Laser sight: No deviation.* [17:44] <&Hebizuka> *R.Sight: 2 targets.* [17:44] <&Hebizuka> *Vs HDevil3, Shots 1-8: Miss, Hit, Miss, Hit, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit. Total hits 5/8* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *Vs Gordian, Shots 1-8: Hit, Hit, Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit. Total hits: 6/8* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *Gordian was already dead when Raider opened fire on him, but that doesn't stop him from doing so. As the incubus' body burns, it is punctured by six more bullets.* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *As for the sniper rifle horned devil, his torso is adorned with five .223 caliber entry wounds, which certainly aren't good news for the demon team.* [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *The horned devil is immediately killed as well.* [17:47] <&Hebizuka> "Raider" [ARX-160] Horned devil #3 [17:48] <&Hebizuka> *Second devil's turn canceled: He died before being able to attack the komainu.* [17:48] <&Hebizuka> *Gordian's turn canceled: He died before being able to attack you.* [17:48] <&Hebizuka> *Komainu's turn...* [17:48] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [17:48] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Upper body (Stomach, guts, lower back) [17:48] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [17:48] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 9 [17:49] <&Hebizuka> *The komainu spits a firebeam at the demon, unleashing divine, cleansing fire on him!* [17:49] <&Hebizuka> *The devil is struck, and is now on fire!* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *Komatora's turn...* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [17:50] <MazeBot> [LIMB] Right knee [17:50] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [17:50] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 6 [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *The komatora spits a thunderbeam towards the second devil, which has already been skilled, but misses.* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *First devil...* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *He is going to fire his shotgun at Ayako!* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> @roll 5#2d6 [17:51] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 6;4;2;9;9 [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Malfunction on the third shot.* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-3: Miss, Miss, Dud round.* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *You hear explosions going off behind you!* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *The devil had FRAG-12 shells!* [17:52] <&Hebizuka> *Third devil's turn canceled: Died before being able to shoot the komatora.* [17:52] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako's turn...* [17:52] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [17:52] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 6 [17:53] <&Hebizuka> *She just misses Gordian's already flaming and dying body, hulksmashing the floor instead.* [17:53] <&Hebizuka> *End of Turn 1. Everyone on your side has survived, while the enemy party is almost entirely wiped out. The surviving horned devil is on fire and screams in pain.* [17:54] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 2.* [17:54] <&Hebizuka> *What is your next move?* [17:55] <+Jonah> *Horned Devil, Protecta, 1 shot.* [17:56] <&Hebizuka> *Raider aims at the horned devil's head, aided by his reflex sight, and fires a single shot.* [17:56] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna uses her Glock to fire three rounds at the last survivor's chest.* [17:56] <&Hebizuka> *The koma-creatures choose each to attack with their elemental beams.* [17:56] <&Hebizuka> *And Ayako tries going for a hulksmash, yet again on the last devil.* [17:57] <&Hebizuka> *As for the devil himself? If he somehow survives that, he is going to try and unload four shots on Ayako again.* [17:57] <&Hebizuka> *Resolving order...* [17:59] <&Hebizuka> *Order this turn: Asuna, You, Raider, Koma-creatures, Devil, Ayako.* [17:59] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna's turn...* [17:59] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [17:59] <MazeBot> [LOWER BODY] Lower body (Hips, pelvis, buttocks) [17:59] <&Hebizuka> @roll 3#2d6 [17:59] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 8;6;11 [17:59] <&Hebizuka> *Again, two of three shots hit.* [18:00] <&Hebizuka> *The devil is hurt, but isn't dead yet.* [18:00] <&Hebizuka> *Your turn. You may roll now.* [18:01] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:01] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9 [18:01] <&Hebizuka> *Score +1, shotgun choke.* [18:01] <&Hebizuka> *Shot 1: Hit (6 pel)* [18:02] <&Hebizuka> *Six 00 buckshot pellets come puncture the last surviving demon's chest, damaging him further and causing enough pain to finally kill him.* [18:02] <&Hebizuka> Jonah [Protecta] Horned devil [18:03] <+Jonah> Holy shit I can't believe that actually worked. [18:04] <&Hebizuka> *Rest of actions canceled.* [18:04] <&Hebizuka> *End of fight! (2 turns)* [18:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] ...It's over. Whew. [18:06] <&Hebizuka> *The incubus' body burns up completely. [18:07] <&Hebizuka> *There is nothing left of Gordian. The devils however, remain as cadavers on the floor, their weapons lying beside them. There's a lot of blood, and now that the action has died down, you start to notice the horrible stench. Demonic cadavers smell extra bad, for some reason; there's a faint, but noticeable sulfuric tone to the horrendeous odors.* [18:07] <&Hebizuka> *Unfortunately, the proof that Asuna is unfaithful to the Gods has also burned up.* [18:08] <+Jonah> Mmm - I don't think so, Miss Asuna. [18:08] <~SU_Tempest> *The shrine maiden glances back at you, one of those half-confused half-thankful looks that makes you wonder just what she's going to ask of you.* [18:08] <+Jonah> I mean, you /did/ sin. Quite heavily at that. [18:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] N-no-one has to know... [18:09] <+Jonah> I think we've had this conversation before, Miss Asuna~ [18:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] What happened to day will just be an unfortunate and bloody fight, and thanks to you I emerged victorious, and that'll be it... [18:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Please, let's leave it at that... [18:09] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider examines the dead demons, grouping up the weapons, but waiting for any order you might give him.* [18:10] * +Jonah is loving the shit out of this, as she approaches Asuna in what the paladin percieves to be , a - what's the word - salacious manner. [18:10] <~SU_Tempest> *The shrine maiden shudders, and wonders what it is exactly that you want from her.* [18:11] <+Jonah> I killed the demons because a pretty little thing like you doesn't deserve to die. [18:11] <+Jonah> But I seem to recall my ultimatum being your body. [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] COME ON, JONAH. I'm offering you ALL THAT I HAVE. You can take ALL the cash in the donation box, you can make a prayer, y-you can have my blessing, ANYTHING. But PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME FOR THE LOVE OF SUZAKU PLEASE DON'T. [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] And I thought I saw everything in my career. *Shakes head.* [18:12] * +Jonah shrugs, luxuriating in the feel of divine power and will that's just fallen into her lap. Oh man she /is/ the worst paladin. [18:13] <+Jonah> Say yes, or we duke it out and you gamble your life again /or/ I tell. [18:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] J-Jonah, please, it's not reasonable... W-would the Gods want you to rape anyone? Let alone a servant of the faith?... [18:14] <+Jonah> Well, consider the following~ [18:15] <+Jonah> First, the Gods sent me here. That does imply a certain... apathy of my methods, considering they sent /me./ [18:15] <+Jonah> Second - you broke the faith first. Fucking an incubus, shame on you. [18:16] <+Jonah> Quite frankly, it's a miracle your shrine guardians actually answered, isn't it~? [18:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] What's your plan, ma'am? Do you need me to do anything? I can shut her up if you want... [18:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Jonah] No! NO! PLEASE! [18:17] <+Jonah> Nah, I'm getting my jollies off this. Just make sure to kill the guardians if Asuna sics 'em on me. And take revenge on her if I actually die, as a last request from an employer to her employee. [18:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I say we beat her silly so she doesn't sic anything on anyone. [18:18] * +Jonah turns back to Asuna, and proceeds to absolutely invade her personal space. [18:18] <~SU_Tempest> *Asuna tries stepping backwards, but she's pinned to the wall.* [18:18] <+Jonah> Still want to say no~ [18:18] <+Jonah> ? [18:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] J-Jonah, I beg of you... Anything but not rape... Anything... [18:19] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider switches his laser sight off.* [18:19] <+Jonah> Simple question, Asuna, and I'm losing my patience: Still want to say no? [18:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Please... No... Not that... [18:19] <&Hebizuka> *Asuna is at your mercy, she is thoroughly terrified of you.* [18:19] <+Jonah> Heheh. [18:19] <+Jonah> Ahahahahaha. [18:20] <+Jonah> Good. That's very good, Asuna. [18:20] <+Jonah> The gods forgive you for your transgression. [18:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] W-what?.... [18:21] <+Jonah> The gods forgive you for having hardcore raunchy sex with an incubus. I swear, you even let him cum inside you. [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Y-you're not going to rape me?... [18:22] <+Jonah> Tut /tut./ Succubi are safer, if you /must/ dance with demons. [18:22] <~SU_Tempest> *Asuna falls on her knees, her legs were shaking and giving weakness since too long.* [18:22] * +Jonah takes a few steps back, and gives Asuna the gentlest, warmest smile she can muster. [18:22] <~SU_Tempest> *She looks thoroughly destroyed.* [18:22] <+Jonah> I'm not going to rape you. I just wanted to scare you straight. [18:22] <+Jonah> Or gay, as the case may be. [18:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Good gods, Jonah. Remind me to never piss you off. [18:23] <+Jonah> You were lucky, Asuna. You /are/ very, very lucky. [18:23] * +Jonah turns around to Raider, and gives him the 'ol shrug and grin combination. [18:23] <~SU_Tempest> *He shakes his head.* [18:24] <+Jonah> So, Asuna. Promise to never fuck incubi again? [18:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Let's loot this place. [18:24] <+Jonah> In a moment, in a moment~ [18:24] <+Jonah> A Paladin's job isn't done 'till sinners learn their lesson. [18:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] I-I-... I'm going to move out of here... I'll start over, I'll cleanse myself... [18:25] <+Jonah> Good, good. Make sure you stay a shrine maiden, though. [18:25] <+Jonah> After all, now you have some actual ~experience~ with divine wrath, hmm? [18:25] * +Jonah condescendingly pats Asuna on the head. [18:25] <~SU_Tempest> *She recites a quick prayer, which you saw before. She has recited the blessing, which in turn, sharpens your vision even more. Diazepam stacks with divine blessing...* [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> *Undisturbed even by your condescending patting.* [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Do whatever you want from now on... [18:26] <+Jonah> Well. [18:26] <+Jonah> Okay~! [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] Please just let me be... Loot the place or whatever. Just do it and go. [18:27] * +Jonah bends down, gives her rump a nice, hearty squeeze, and then steals a kiss from the distraught shrine maiden. [18:27] <+Jonah> Raider! [18:27] <~SU_Tempest> *She gasps.* [18:27] <+Jonah> LET THE LOOTING BEGIN. [18:27] <~SU_Tempest> *Asuna screams out "BITCH!". Raider shrugs and invites you to take a look in the donation box.* [18:28] <+Jonah> You /said/ do whatever you want from now on! [18:28] <+Jonah> And hey, I /still/ think you got off lightly! [18:28] <+Jonah> Donation box looting time is now! Raider, tell me, how much cash is in here? [18:28] <&Hebizuka> *You have the passing sensation of having gotten divine approval.* [18:28] <+Jonah> This filthy, /filthy/ lucre that we need to remove from the premises? [18:28] <&Hebizuka> [Money] 1847 P$ [18:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] All cold hard cash. I say we earned it. [18:29] <+Jonah> And the weapons, too! Or their ammo, at least. [18:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You might want to look at the shotgun. [18:29] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - Armsel Protecta shotgun | 12 gauge - Semi-auto | Foregrip(I) | Cylinder, 12 rounds | Weight: 14 - [9/12, 9x FRAG-12] - Cond: Worn / Clns: Grimy [18:30] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - FN Herstal P90 personal defense weapon | 5.7x28mm - Semi/Full | R.Sight(I), Rail | P90 50-round mag, +1 | Weight: 5 - [49+1/50, 50x FMJ] - Cond: Excellent / Clns: Clean [18:30] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Parker-Hale M82 sniper rifle | 7.62x51mm NATO - Bolt-action | Scope[Sniper](S), Bipod(S) | Internal magazine, 4 rounds, no +1 | Weight: 22 - [4/4, 4x FMJ] - Cond: Worn / Clns: Clean [18:30] <+Jonah> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. [18:30] <+Jonah> NEXT TIME USE BUCKSHOT YOU FUCKING SCRUB. [18:30] <+Jonah> SCRUUUUUUUUB! [18:30] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider raises an eyebrow.* [18:31] * +Jonah giggles like someone who's high on drugs and life, as she fills her money pouch to the brim, then hands the rest to Raider. [18:31] <&Hebizuka> *You took 521 P$.* [18:31] <+Jonah> Mind holding onto it for now? We'll split it three ways, since Ayako was an amazing distraction. [18:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Whatever's not on my account is still yours. [18:31] <+Jonah> You're the best squire a Paladin could ever ask for. [18:31] <&Hebizuka> *He grabs the remaining money: 1326 P$.* [18:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I'm a merc, not a squire. [18:32] * +Jonah proceeds to reload 6 buckshot rounds into the Protecta, before taking those delicious 9 Frag-12 rounds. [18:32] <+Jonah> Humor your /clearly insane/ employer, just once. [18:33] <&Hebizuka> [Reload] Armsel Protecta: +6x Buck. [12/12, 12x Buck] [18:33] <&Hebizuka> *12 gauge buckshot remaining: 32 in pack.* [18:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Humor was never my strong point. [18:33] <+Jonah> And yet you let yourself get squirted on by the horniest Tanuki alive. [18:33] <&Hebizuka> *Total 12 gauge FRAG-12 carried: 27 in pack* [18:34] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/main) 58.78/60 [18:35] <+Jonah> Okay, and then... I'll swap the P90s, because the one they were using was so much better than mine. [18:35] <&Hebizuka> *Transfer your ammunition and accessories to the new P90?* [18:35] * +Jonah removes the magazine from her P90, along with all relevent accessories, before attaching them onto the newer P90. [18:35] <+Jonah> *YES* [18:36] <&Hebizuka> *Done. Your P90 is now 50+1/50, 51x FMJ.* [18:36] <&Hebizuka> *Do you wish to keep the second P90 magazine and ammo?* [18:36] <+Jonah> *Yes yes yes.* [18:37] <&Hebizuka> *You obtained the following:* [18:37] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: FN P90 50-round magazine. Size tier: Large ; Weight: 1.2+0.5 (1.7) - [50/50, 50x FMJ] [18:38] <&Hebizuka> *You do not have enough space to carry it in the backpack, but you can carry it in Vest/General. Place it there?* [18:39] <+Jonah> *Yes.* [18:40] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Vest/General) 6.9/7 [18:42] <+Jonah> Okay, then. One last thing. [18:42] <+Jonah> Ayako, stay still for a moment, kay? [18:42] * +Jonah climbs up onto Ayako to attach a single block of C4. [18:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] What are you doing?! [18:44] <+Jonah> I'm turning Ayako into a C4 delivery golem. [18:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] NO. Don't do this. [18:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] If you're going to play with C4, I have a much better plan. [18:44] <+Jonah> Which she'll survive for sure because she just turns back into regular Ayako if - are you sure? [18:44] <+Jonah> Okay, what's the plan? [18:44] * +Jonah continues to stay on Ayako though, because why not? [18:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Give me the C4 instead. I can throw it towards your opponents, then you use the detonator. We can do this ten times faster than the time it'd take for your golem friend to even walk towards the targets. [18:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Or if worse comes for worst, I can throw myself with the C4 and you blow it up. [18:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] ...preferably you wait until I run back, if that happens. [18:46] <+Jonah> ...Jesus /Christ/ you are the hardest working merc al - oh okay. [18:46] <+Jonah> Yeah, that's a bit more reasonable. Here. [18:46] * +Jonah tosses the C4 right over. [18:46] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider grabs the C4 charge.* [18:47] <&Hebizuka> *He then goes over to the sniper rifle, and unloads it, keeping the ammo. He then removes the scope and the bipod from the rifle, keeping them both in his bag.* [18:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] This is a really expensive optic. Might fetch us cash. [18:47] <+Jonah> You're the gun expert. I just horde everything at once. [18:47] <+Jonah> Seriously, I am giving you a /bonus/ when this is done. [18:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You don't have to. I'm just doing my job, miss. [18:48] <&Hebizuka> *Lastly, Raider swaps magazines.* [18:48] <&Hebizuka> *Reloading his ARX-160.* [18:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Alrighty, all set. Oh, by the way, do you have some STANAG mags? [18:49] <+Jonah> Good work deserves good rewards. [18:49] <+Jonah> And I have SO MANY STanag mags now that I gave up Malika. [18:49] * +Jonah pats her vest chest, and hands whatever he needs over. [18:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Can you pass me two? Thirty-rounders, preferably? I don't care much for 20 ones. [18:50] <+Jonah> Two thirty rounders, coming right up. [18:50] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I have the feeling that dumping a lot of ammunition precisely and accurately is going to be my bag, so I'll want ammo for that. [18:50] * +Jonah is pleased as punch, because now she can move her Dragonbane magazines to her magazine pouches! [18:51] <+Jonah> Absolutely. Because my MO is either running away or shotgunning things until they diel. [18:51] <&Hebizuka> *Raider stuffs the offered magazines, which in turn fill all six of his vest/mag pouches.* [18:51] <&Hebizuka> *Moved: 2x Custom R700-338 magazines. Pack/Main => Vest/Mags.* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *And just for good measure, Raider draws his M9 and swap mags for that too.* [18:55] <+Jonah> Alrighty. Is that everything? [18:55] <+Jonah> We all ready to go? [18:56] <&Hebizuka> *Mission complete* [18:56] <+Jonah> Oh, before I forget~ [18:56] * +Jonah NINJA SPEEDS her way to Asuna, and steals another kiss. Soft miko lips are to die for~ [18:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME [18:57] <+Jonah> MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL KEEP YOUR LIPS FROM HARD, THROBBING INCUBUS COCK. [18:58] <~SU_Tempest> [Asuna] FUCK! OFF! [18:58] <+Jonah> AND TOWARDS SOFT, JUICY SUCCUBUS LIPS. [18:58] * +Jonah cackles with glee as she heads towards the altar, and makes a prayer~ [18:58] <&Hebizuka> *Roll a 2d6 to pray.* [18:59] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:59] <MazeBot> Jonah: 7 [18:59] <&Hebizuka> *Bonus: +2. Score is 9.* [18:59] <&Hebizuka> *The gods seem to approve of your actions. However pants-on-head-crazy today has been.* [19:00] <&Hebizuka> *When you're ready to go, !mrooms3.* [19:01] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [19:01] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2483 - Front door: 4531 - Right door: 6510 - Roomstyle: 105 - Enemy strength: 4 /6 [19:01] <+Jonah> Front door! [19:03] <&Hebizuka> *An office, with its four desks, computers, and usual clutter. There is a daitengu here... but appears to be unarmed.* [19:04] <+Jonah> Hey there! [19:04] <+Jonah> I didn't know daitengu worked in offices. [19:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Hello, human. I don't work here, I was just passing by. [19:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Say, you seem like a witty gal. Do you want to try a riddle? For keeps. You get it right, you get something nice. You get it wrong, you get something not so nice. Whaddya say? [19:06] <+Jonah> ...Well, I have enough meds on me to stock a hospital. [19:06] <+Jonah> Hit me. [19:06] <+Jonah> OH GOD DON'T ACTUALLY HIT ME. [19:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] You can crack me or you can make me, you can tell me and you can play me, but I could be good or bad. What am I? [19:10] <+Jonah> ...Fuck. How many guesses do I get? [19:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] One. [19:10] <+Jonah> Man, isn't three the traditional amount? [19:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Why ,that's not funny to give three guesses. [19:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] I'm joking, I'm joking. You have three guesses, yes. [19:11] <+Jonah> Ugh. It's not eggs, that's far too obvious. [19:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Can't change the rules, hehe. [19:12] <+Jonah> A... a clock, maybe? THAT'S NOT A GUESS I'M JUST THINKING OUT LOUD. [19:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Don't think outloud. [19:13] <+Jonah> Help help I'm being repressed. [19:13] <+Jonah> Fuck it. Guess 1, Egg. [19:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] That's wrong. Two guesses left. [19:13] <+Jonah> Let's just get the penalty over with. [19:13] <+Jonah> Do I have a time limit? [19:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Take your time. [19:15] <+Jonah> ...Is my reward lessened if I take multiple guesses? [19:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] No. [19:15] <+Jonah> You can... crack a joke, maybe? [19:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Is this your second guess? [19:16] <+Jonah> No that makes no sense, you can't /make/ jokes... [19:16] <+Jonah> No, it's not. It doesn't work. [19:17] <+Jonah> Ugh, let's just get this over with. [19:17] <+Jonah> Guess 2, Joke. [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Correct. [19:17] <+Jonah> Guess 3, Ice Cream. [19:17] <+Jonah> Hit me with your best - wait what [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] Joke was the correct answer. [19:17] <+Jonah> That's. [19:17] <+Jonah> /What./ [19:17] <+Jonah> How do you /make/ jokes? [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] You can, silly human. [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Daitengu] And now for your reward. [19:18] <+Jonah> I have never heard of that turn of phrase in my life. [19:18] <~SU_Tempest> *He strolls calmly towards you, and reaches behind your ear.* [19:18] <~SU_Tempest> *Out comes(?) a gem.* [19:20] <+Jonah> ... I was /wondering/ what was in there. [19:20] <~SU_Tempest> *Which he then gives you.* [19:20] <+Jonah> Thanks, sirah. [19:20] <~SU_Tempest> *The youkai nods and leaves the room.* [19:20] <&Hebizuka> *ICIS identified* [Valuable] Clear gem - Impure diamond - Value 100-300 P$ (1d201 +99) - Weight: 0.1 [19:20] <+Jonah> I. [19:20] <+Jonah> Need a break. [19:20] <+Jonah> Raider, want to play pattycakes? [19:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] What the bloody hell is a pattycake? [19:21] <+Jonah> OH MAN DO I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. [19:22] * +Jonah plops her ass down and proceeds to teach her squire the RULES OF PATTYCAKE. [19:24] <&Hebizuka> Checkout [19:27] <&Hebizuka> 172 rooms (+11), 20 kills (+4), 0 SEs, 4 missions (+1), 2 Amulets, 4332 P$ (+1847), 0 Runs [19:27] <&Hebizuka> Score: 345pts (+47) [19:27] <&Hebizuka> Position: 3rd (no change) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> =Today's stats= (Legend: Hits/Attempts) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Shots fired 7/7 [19:28] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 7/7 (100%) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> =All-time stats= [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Shots fired 41/48 (85%) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Nades/rockets 1/2 (50%) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Other attacks 1/1 (100%) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL 43/51 (84% accuracy) [19:28] <&Hebizuka> =Progress today= [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Shotgun +2 [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Headshot +1 [19:28] <&Hebizuka> Brute force +1