Log:Session 22 (Meta, no ontology)

[16:53] <&Hebizuka> *Welcome back to the Mazes, Jonah. You have visited 46 rooms. Next special room at the 48th (Mission). !mrooms3 to continue.* [16:53] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [16:53] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 4181 - Front door: 798 - Right door: 6194 - Roomstyle: 487 - Enemy strength: 2 /6 [16:54] <Jonah> Let [16:54] <Jonah> 's just... go straight, I guess. [16:55] <&Hebizuka> [47] *You go down a short flight of stairs... then reach a regular, featureless room. Only one door ahead (!mrooms1). There appears to be nothing in this room.* [16:57] <Jonah> ...Carolyn, weapons hot? [16:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I suppose so, yeah... [16:57] <Jonah> Alright, let's - you threw away those bikini bottoms. And I forgot to pick them up. [16:58] <Jonah> Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. [16:58] <Jonah> !mrooms1 [16:58] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 6156 - Roomstyle: 242 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [16:58] <Jonah> Let's just - I don't even care anymore. CHARGE. [17:08] <&Hebizuka> [48] *You make it inside a restaurant. The chef is here, and it smells amazingly good. Country music is playing from speakers and what you presume is a CD player; this isn't stuff you hear on the radio usually. There is only one patron at one of the tables, which seems to be a tengu carrying a handgun.* [17:09] <&Hebizuka> *The chef immediately lifts his nose and notices you two entering. He's about to welcome you with open arms, then he notices you are both naked.* [17:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Whoa! I wanted to congratulate my thousandth client, but I didn't expect they'd be strippers! [17:11] * Jonah tries to keep a strong face, winking and shaking her hips while resisting the urge to gag. Or kill herself out of shame. "Well, it /is/ your thousandth client. A little eye-candy never hurt anyone, did it?" [17:12] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn rolls her eyes. Your ally doesn't take kindly to have to expose herself - being the only one with any clothing left, all she does is cover her crotch with her hands.* [17:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Well, girls, don't worry, I know how hard people in, er, your line of work have it. Get in that corner, you won't be too bothered. How about food? Since you're my thousandth and thousand-and-first clients, I'll offer both of you free Sinners Sandwiches. You cool with that? I'm sure you are. [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> *He seems thoroughly convinced you two are strippers or AV actresses.* [17:16] * Jonah gestures to the booth seats the chef is pointing to, hoping Carolyn will get the hint and sit down first. "That'd be wonderful, sir. If you'd like, I'd be all too happy to give you a, ahhh... private show~?" What she /hopes/ to be a low, sensual chuckle leaves her lips, and the worst paladin in the world gives the chef another wink. "You're not /my/ thousandth client, but one good turn... [17:16] * Jonah ...deserves another, I say." [17:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *Mother of all facepalms* What are you doing? Oh Gods please help us in this desperate endeavor.. [17:18] * Jonah walks over to Carolyn, her face contorted in a desperate, pained visage. [17:18] <Jonah> *whisper* I'm hoping I can sweet talk him into showing me how to butcher things for meat. [17:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper back* Just don't get fucked in the process, or involve me. Please. And promise me to shoot him if he touches you. [17:19] <Jonah> *Whisper* He might not do it for free, but for a round of sex and a gold lighter as a 'memento' might be enough. [17:19] <&Hebizuka> *The tengu seems to ignore you, staring down his glass of soda instead.* [17:19] <Jonah> I... I promise not to involve you. But desperate times... [17:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper* When all of this is over, we need to question how the hell you became a paladin. [17:21] <&Hebizuka> *The chef brings the celebratory meals to your table; one Sinners Sandwich for each of you.* [17:21] <Jonah> *Whisper* It really, /really/ helps that we don't have vows of celibacy. [17:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Here you go, ladies. Tell me if you need anything else. [17:22] <&Hebizuka> *You notice the chef is wearing two shotgun bandoliers, one around each thigh. You also notice the shells have a strange color.* [17:22] * Jonah is all genuine smiles at the delicious sandwich, and flashes the chef a grateful look. "Oh, I will, sir. I hope you don't mind us resting here for a wh - ahh?"\ [17:22] <&Hebizuka> *Then it occurs to you he's also carrying a highly familiar shotgun, slung on his back. As per normal for all chefs, but...* [17:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] No, it's fine, stay as long as you need. [17:23] * Jonah reaches over to tap at his thighs, both to finger the shells as well as to just gently touch the older man. "I've never seen shells like these before. Are they not buckshot?" [17:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Nope, these are FRAG-12. You see, I take safety very seriously! [17:24] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn STARES at the chef.* [17:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] "Safety". With shells that literally blow things apart? [17:25] <&Hebizuka> *Closer inspection reveals the chef is not male.* [17:25] <&Hebizuka> *Do you want to observe the chef for a full description?* [17:25] <Jonah> *...Well, since I may or may not have sex with her. Sure.* [17:26] <Jonah> There's a saying from my c- er, sector, hun. 'One sword keeps another in its sheath'. The code of the samurai. [17:26] <&Hebizuka> *An aged, albino female. She is tall, of average constitution, has very short white hair, a pair of (surprisingly) green eyes, wears a metallic collar, and has a nasty knife scar on the left hand.* [17:27] <Jonah> Sometimes the threat of violence alone is enough to stop escalation. [17:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I suppose so. [17:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Anyway, I better eat this while I can... [17:28] <&Hebizuka> *Eat the sinners sandwich?* [17:28] <Jonah> *Yes please.* [17:29] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d9+5 Nutrition [17:29] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, Nutrition: 11:6+5 [17:29] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d9+5 Nutrition ally [17:29] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, Nutrition ally: 12:7+5 [17:29] <&Hebizuka> *It's not so bad at all, but tastes a bit... unique.* [17:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Eh, I've actually never tried these sandwiches before. I should come back... with more clothes on my back. [17:32] <Jonah> I made these before. They were the only thing I could stomach to eat. [17:32] <&Hebizuka> *Suddenly, more people enter the restaurant.* [17:32] <Jonah> The turkey meat is /just/ gamey enough to - oh no. [17:33] <&Hebizuka> *A group of Soldiers: A particularly angry-looking Maze Sergeant followed with two Soldiers. The Sergeant carries an assault rifle, while the Soldiers have submachine guns. The chef looks distressed. And the tengu looks depressed.* [17:34] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSgt] You greasy piece of youkai shit, I knew I'd find you here. You've got something that belongs to me, and I want it NOW. [17:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] I don't want no trouble, leave me alone. [17:35] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSgt] See this shiny pistol you're carrying? IT'S MINE. Because you stole MY stuff, look what I've been forced to carry. Come on, you bastard. Look at it. [17:35] <~SU_Tempest> *He unholsters a beaten up, dirty looking handgun, then shoves it under the tengu's nose.* [17:36] <~SU_Tempest> *The tengu doesn't answer, as though he is reminded of something embarrassing. Did he really steal it?* [17:36] <Jonah> @cover [17:36] <MazeBot> An empty plastic crate. (Health: 20, LDV modifier: -2. AC Eqv: Hardskin. Pass-through threshold: 6+ dmg. Pain modifier: x0.75) [17:36] <~SU_Tempest> *The Sergeant lifts his nose, noticing you.* [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSgt] Who the hell is this? Get the fuck out of here! We don't need no peeking naked chicks! Fucking perverts. [17:37] <Jonah> *Whisper* Fight or flee, Carolyn, your choice. [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> *The tengu suddenly speaks up.* [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THOSE BASTARDS! DO SOMETHING, PLEASE! [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSgt] SHUT UP! [17:38] * Jonah grumbles and turns from her booth to talk to the - oh /goddamn it./ [17:38] <&Hebizuka> *The ball's in your hands, what are you going to do?* [17:38] <&Hebizuka> *You are free to attempt anything you wish... The question is: What?* [17:38] <Jonah> *In the end... a Paladin's work is never done.* [17:39] <Jonah> @roll 1#2d6 Roll to get to cover [17:39] <MazeBot> Jonah, Roll to get to cover: 9 [17:39] <&Hebizuka> *You and Carolyn make it behind the plastic crate. You successfully took cover and can attempt an attack or another move immediately.* [17:40] <Jonah> I'm going to try nonlethal shots, Carolyn. You don't have to. [17:40] <&Hebizuka> *The Soldiers are not attempting anything, instead trying to bully the tengu some more. The chef is increasingly worried and comes closer from the tengu with the intent to calm them down.* [17:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper* Wait, who are we shooting at? The tengu or the Soldiers? [17:43] <Jonah> *Whisper* Soldiers. They're the aggressors. [17:44] <Jonah> *Seargent, Flashbang.* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *While you prepare to throw a flashbang at the Sergeant, Carolyn nods and will attempt shooting the Sergeant's right leg, using her "Malika" M16A1, two shots in semi.* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *None of the other people will attack, since they are arguing with each other right now.* [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 1. Order: You, Carolyn.* [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *You may roll.* [17:47] <Jonah> @roll 2d6 [17:47] <MazeBot> Jonah: 8 [17:47] <&Hebizuka> *The Sergeant's eyes widen as he notices something flying his way. [17:47] <&Hebizuka> *B A N G !* [17:48] <&Hebizuka> *The Chef, the Tengu, the Sergeant, and both Soldiers are blinded, while you and Carolyn are safe from the blinding and deafening flash.* [17:48] <&Hebizuka> *You hear screaming and someone - you can't tell who, yell "I'M BLIND!"* [17:50] <Jonah> Carolyn, take the shots! [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn's turn...* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *She lifts herself from behind cover, aligns her sights on the Sergeant's leg, and fires twice.* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2#2d6 [17:51] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 5;4 [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Unfortunately, she misses on both counts. Turns out it's hard to hit legs!* [17:52] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Fuck, this will be harder than I thought. [17:52] <&Hebizuka> *End of Turn 1.* [17:52] <&Hebizuka> *The shitstorm commences. Shots have been fired... Now it's a no-holds-barred gunfight. [17:52] <&Hebizuka> *The Soldiers side with each other, naturally.* [17:53] <&Hebizuka> *The chef and tengu will defend each other, and consider you to be on their side as well.* [17:53] <&Hebizuka> *This is now Chef, Tengu, You, Carolyn vs Sergeant, Soldier1 an Soldier2; a 7-way gunfight! Good luck!* [17:54] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 2.* [17:54] <&Hebizuka> *What will you do?* [17:56] <Jonah> *Whisper* Damn, damn damn damn. Carolyn, I'm sorry, shoot to kill. We don't have the luxury! [17:56] <Jonah> *4 body shots, Remington, Sergeant* [17:59] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn will go for two shots against the Sergeant's leg again, still in semi, still with Malika.* [18:17] <&Hebizuka> *The chef will run for cover on his own side.* [18:17] <&Hebizuka> @cover [18:17] <MazeBot> A dumpster full of trash (Health: 55, LDV modifier: -3. AC Eqv: Kevlar-3. Pass-through threshold: 10+ dmg. Pain modifier: x0.50) [18:18] <&Hebizuka> *The chef will open fire on the second Soldier. The tengu is going to follow the chef behind the piece of cover, but won't attack.* [18:18] <&Hebizuka> *This is assuming they have the time to, of course.* [18:19] <&Hebizuka> *The Sergeant will use his assault rifle and open fire at Carolyn, going to fire two bursts.* [18:19] <&Hebizuka> *The first Soldier will fire in full-auto, 4 rounds at the Tengu.* [18:19] <&Hebizuka> *The Second Soldier will do the same but at the Chef.* [18:21] <&Hebizuka> *Rolling for non-combat actions first...* [18:21] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 cover (Chef, Tengu) [18:21] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, cover (Chef, Tengu): 7 [18:21] <&Hebizuka> *Both of them make it safely behind the dumpster.* [18:23] <&Hebizuka> *Speed conflict between: You (1), Carolyn (2), Chef (3), Sergeant (4).* [18:23] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d4 [18:23] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 3 [18:23] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d3 [18:23] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 3 [18:23] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d2 [18:23] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 2 [18:24] <&Hebizuka> *Order: Soldier2, Soldier1, Chef, Sergeant, Carolyn, You* [18:25] <&Hebizuka> *Soldier 2...* [18:25] <&Hebizuka> @roll 4#2d6 [18:25] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 7;6;6;9 [18:25] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-4: Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss.* [18:27] <&Hebizuka> *None of the rounds hit the intended target, instead pelting the floor; the flashbang is doing its job well at blinding the opponents.* [18:27] <&Hebizuka> *Soldier 1...* [18:27] <&Hebizuka> @roll 4#2d6 [18:27] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 3;10;5;2 [18:28] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d100 [18:28] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 84 [18:28] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d100 [18:28] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 74 [18:29] <&Hebizuka> *The first soldier's weapon suffers a critical failure on the first shot. He is forced to clear a jam for the rest of the turn, unable to get any more shots off.* [18:30] <&Hebizuka> *Chef's turn..* [18:30] <&Hebizuka> *He goes for a single shot at the second soldier's chest.* [18:30] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [18:30] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 11 [18:31] <&Hebizuka> *And surprisingly enough, despite being half blind, he hits.* [18:33] <&Hebizuka> *A FRAG-12 projectile comes striking the second Soldier's chest, which results in a miniature explosion. He is thrown on his back. The Soldier survived, but took heavy damage!* [18:34] <&Hebizuka> *Sergeant's turn...* [18:34] <&Hebizuka> *He flicks the selector to "Burst", then presses the trigger twice; trying to shoot two bursts, for a total of six shots, towards Carolyn.* [18:34] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2#2d6 [18:34] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 8;7 [18:35] <&Hebizuka> *The first five rounds have destroyed the piece of cover completely.* [18:36] <&Hebizuka> *The sixth, inevitably, comes flying towards Carolyn, who takes it in the chest. Thankfully, the PCV is in the way.* [18:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Ow! [18:37] <&Hebizuka> *Despite the PCV protected her from being badly hurt, Carolyn received an injury; a wound has been torn open on her chest, and you can see blood trickling down on her body. She didn't even notice she is bleeding. She barely noticed she got shot.* [18:38] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn ignores the minor sting she thinks she received, then aligns her rifle at the Sergeant and goes for the two shots to the legs she wanted to deliver.* [18:38] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn's turn...* [18:38] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2#2d6 [18:38] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 6;8 [18:38] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-2: Miss, Hit* [18:40] <&Hebizuka> *One bullet does strike the Sergeant right in the thigh! He groans loudly in pain; looks like he felt that one real bad!* [18:41] <&Hebizuka> *The Sergeant appears to have received an open wound on the right leg, and is starting to bleed as well. Carolyn mutters something like "Got you, fucker."* [18:41] <&Hebizuka> *Finally, it's your turn. You were going for 4 shots at the Sergeant's chest with your 870. You may roll.* [18:41] <Jonah> @roll 4#2d6 [18:41] <MazeBot> Jonah: 4;6;8;8 [18:42] <&Hebizuka> *The sound of a shotgun going off and being pumped resonates in the restaurant.* [18:42] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-4: Hit (2 pel), Hit (4 pel), Hit (5 pel), Hit (5 pel) [18:42] <&Hebizuka> *Total: 4/4 hits, 16 pellets hit* [18:43] <&Hebizuka> *You plaster the Sergeant's body armor with holes, and while in normal circumstances, it would be of questionable efficiency, it seems luck is on your side just this once.* [18:45] <&Hebizuka> *The shotgun dislodges a very unhealthy amount of blood, flesh, and breath out of the Sergeant's body... but what kills him is the pain.* [18:45] <&Hebizuka> *The Sergeant is now a badly mangled cadaver.* [18:45] <&Hebizuka> Jonah [870 MM] Maze Sergeant [18:47] <&Hebizuka> *End of Turn 2. This is a mess.* [18:47] <&Hebizuka> *The flashbang effects have ended; everyone has regained their senses proper. The 2nd Soldier is bleeding.* [18:47] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn is bleeding.* [18:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Nice shot! Now we've gotta bring the other two down! [18:48] <&Hebizuka> *The other two Soldiers notice that this is getting a wee bit too dangerous for a simple bar confrontation.* [18:49] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSol1] We should get the hell out! I don't want to die in a bar! [18:49] <~SU_Tempest> [MzSol1] Cmon buddy, lemme help you. [18:49] <&Hebizuka> *The first Soldier decides to bail out, and drags his bleeding, wounded friend outside of the bar.* [18:49] <&Hebizuka> *End of fight! (2 turns)* [18:52] <Jonah> Carolyn, take that vest off! [18:52] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Whoa... For a bunch of strippers you girls know how to fight! [18:52] * Jonah throws her pack to the floor, frantically digging through it for one of her many, /many/ bandages. [18:52] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Chef, now is not the moment... [18:53] <Jonah> You're bleeding - are you hurt anywhere else? That crate took most of it - oh god tell me you're okay. [18:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Whew. I'm glad this guy is dead. I bet his cronies weren't even pleased to have to deal with this shit. [18:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I'm bleeding? [18:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I didn't even notice. *She then notices the red trails that trickled down along the curves of her body. [18:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Woah. My first gunshot wound! [18:54] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn removes her vest and lets you treat her.* [18:54] <&Hebizuka> *Consume bandage from vest or from backpack?* [18:55] * Jonah yanks a roll of bandage from the heavy, scattered mess insider her pack, rushing over to Carolyn's side. "Why do you sound proud of that Carolyn." [18:55] <Jonah> *Backpack* [18:55] <&Hebizuka> *Something falls off of the PCV as the nude shrine maiden removes it.* [18:56] <&Hebizuka> *It's the flattened, damaged remains of the bullet that was destined for her.* [18:57] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn's chest wound has been healed; she is no longer bleeding.* [18:58] <Jonah> Okay... okay, good. Are you - does it still hurt? You sit right here, Carolyn, I need to make sure those other two people didn't get hurt either. [18:58] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Why? Cause I finally did something exciting after all these years preaching for the Gods and generally being safe. [18:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Heh. I bet it's the little girl from Sec 27 that's talking but... I swear, I prefer this to my old life. [18:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] No, I'm fine. I actually didn't know I got shot. It didn't hurt, I have to thank the vest for that... It's an amazing vest, sheesh. [19:00] * Jonah pulls her into an almost back-breaking hug, pressing her face against the older woman's shoulder. "It... it was good. It was really good, and you didn't have anything on you." [19:01] <Jonah> I don't care if she stole our clothes. She let us keep this, and you're /alive./ [19:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Dude, I'm gonna have to stop going here... [19:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] No man, you will stick here. I'll defend you like those two AV ladies did. Man, I will never disrespect porn actresses ever again. [19:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] If the military hears about this story, they're going to get after me. It's unreasonable, man. [19:03] <Jonah> He's... he /is/ right, Sir. [19:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] You, the futa girl, get over here please. [19:04] <&Hebizuka> *He points at you.* [19:04] * Jonah reluctantly turns away from Carolyn to face the chef and the tengu. "I mean - we just killed a sergeant. Last I checked that was /bad/ mojo." [19:05] * Jonah walks over to the weird avian creature. [19:05] <Jonah> And you - please tell me you didn't actually steal his goddamn gun. [19:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Don't worry about that. Me and my folks will deal with this unit. I'm glad you shot him, he has been bullying my people since a while. Yes, I stole his sidearm. It's one thing in a long string of events. [19:05] <~SU_Tempest> *He unholsters it, and hands it to you.* [19:05] <Jonah> /Lie/ to me if you have to, you - you piece of fucking shit. [19:06] <Jonah> *1 punch, Tengu's face, punch to the face.* [19:06] <&Hebizuka> *The tengu sees it coming, but doesn't do anything. In fact, he lets himself being hit. You can roll, though.* [19:07] <Jonah> @roll 1#2d6 [19:07] <MazeBot> Jonah: 2 [19:07] <&Hebizuka> *The tengu catches your hand and throws you on the floor.* [19:07] <&Hebizuka> *He hurts YOU in the process.* [19:07] <&Hebizuka> [Damage] Pain 14% (+10) [19:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] So what? I stole his gun. He shot my friends. We need weapons to defend ourselves from people like him. Who are YOU to judge me? [19:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Why did you defend me then? [19:09] <~SU_Tempest> *The chef hurries back to the till, searching for something.* [19:11] <Jonah> You got innocent civilians caught up in a goddamn firefight because you didn't have the *goddamn sense* to stay away from places like these! I am absolutely judging the fuck out of you as one of the people you involved! [19:12] <Jonah> I defended you because 'Hey, maybe this Shithead Birdbrain didn't actually steal anything!' BUT NOPE you decided to steal a pissed off Sergeant's gun and then /waltz into a restaurant like it ain't no thing! [19:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] I appreciate the fact you decided to shoot the Soldiers, but as a human, you have no right to judge me for what I did. As far as I am concerned, I didn't try to start a fight. Nor did I want it to happen in the first place. [19:13] <Jonah> The /fuck you didn't try to start a fight./ [19:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Then perhaps you can show your face to the local barracks and ask them to please stop harassing people like US just because we happen to NOT be human? [19:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] If you're so righteous, maybe you can do that too, can't you? [19:14] <Jonah> Who was the one who screamed 'SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THOSE BASTARDS! DO SOMETHING, PLEASE!' cawwing for a savior&B, huh? [19:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Because I didn't want to shoot them myself, as much as I would love to. Because I don't like THIS. [19:14] <~SU_Tempest> *He points at the dead Sergeant.* [19:15] <Jonah> Didn't want to - DIDN'T WANT TO SHOOT THEM YOURSELF. [19:15] <Jonah> That is the justification you're going with you piece of shit. [19:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Tengu] Please keep your disgusting hide away from me, human. [19:15] <Jonah> If you're going to fight for your life, you damned /monster,/ then fucking fight for your life. [19:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] *Pumps shotgun, ignoring the fact he ejected a live shell* WILL YOU CHILDREN STOP THIS CRAP. [19:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Now is NOT the moment to argue, PLEASE. [19:17] * Jonah proceeds to flip the tengu off before walking back to Carolyn's side. [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Oh for the love of Suzaku and all that is graceful... Jonah, stop it, please. He's right, you don't have any right to judge him! *She tries to pull you away from the angry avian.* [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> *The tengu leaves, leaving behind something on the table.µ [19:20] * Jonah hisses out the next words like a curse, the adrenalin slowly leaving her veins. "Like hell I don't have a right to judge him. Hypocracy is universal." [19:20] <Jonah> It's, it's - gah. Fuck people like him. [19:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] I'll pretend I never heard that. I cannot ignore the fact you prevented a bigger bloodbath though, so ... If you don't mind me, I have to give you a small compensation for it... [19:21] <&Hebizuka> [Money] 250 P$ [19:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] It's not much, but it's my thanks for defending the restaurant. [19:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Jonah, it's more complicated than that... [19:23] * Jonah takes a glance at the money, and slides it back to the chef. [19:23] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn proceeds to yoink the cash.* [19:23] <Jonah> ...I'm sorry, sir. I... I don't feel comfortable taking your money for - Carolyn? [19:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] -Thank you very much-, sir, we will use that to get ourselves new clothes. *She glares at you with an air of disapproval.* [19:24] <~SU_Tempest> *She proceeds to yank the money in your backpack.* [19:24] * Jonah points to the clothing of the soldier. "There's enough for /one/ of us." [19:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I don't really want to wear the clothes of a cadaver. You can do that if you want. [19:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Besides I am a shrine maiden, not a Soldier. I don't want to add impersonation to my rap sheet. [19:25] <Jonah> And - sir. Uhm... is there a way you could teach me how to butcher, and, well... harvest meat? [19:26] <Jonah> Money's been tight lately, and most of the stuff in the pack is weaponry. I could - trade you something as payment, a gem or... [19:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Oh, you would like butchering lessons? Well... Generally I would accept, but I want to close shop for now. I feel shaky right now, so I am sorry but I must decline. [19:26] <Jonah> Well... damn. [19:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Very sorry I cannot help you. I'm not feeling great right now. [19:27] <Jonah> No, no, it's fine. We have a thermos of coffee if it'd help settle your nerves. [19:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Coffee would make me a lot worse. Thanks but no thanks. [19:27] <&Hebizuka> *There's a few items on the floor, not counting the dead Sergeant's inventory.* [19:27] <Jonah> Different strokes, I suppose. [19:27] <&Hebizuka> *Unless you want to loot a bit, you can leave via one of the three doors.* [19:28] * Jonah ignores the items for now, instead stripping the Sergeant's clothing for all he's worth. [19:29] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Headgear - SPECTRA helmet - AC Kevlar-3 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-resistant - Ballistic protective - Weight: 9 - [Dmg 2.12/4] [19:29] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Top - Military T-shirt, urban camo (Upper body, Shoulders) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant - Weight: 3 - [Dmg: 1.20/4] [19:29] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Body addon - Type-3 Kevlar vest (Upper body) - AC Kevlar-3 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Weight: 9 - [Dmg: 3.54/4] [19:29] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Bottom - Military pants, urban camo (Lower body, Legs, Crotch) - AC Hardskin - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant - Weight: 5 - [Dmg: 2.89/4] [19:29] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Footwear - Military boots - AC Hardskin - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant, Explosion-resistant - Weight: 9 - [Dmg: 2.67/4] [19:29] <&Hebizuka> *Wear all?* [19:31] <Jonah> Okay, so - Carolyn. If I wear some but not /all/ of this clothing, does it still count as - I don't know, attempted impersonation or something? [19:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *Sigh*. I don't know. I think it only counts if they know you're impersonating a Soldier. [19:35] <Jonah> *Wear all except T-shirt.* [19:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] For all my advice is worth, the armor is worth wearing. [19:37] * Jonah wrinkles her nose at the... /musk/ that's soaked into all the clothing. "I've had worse, but. Damn." [19:37] <&Hebizuka> *They have the putrid smell of sweat and blood.* [19:38] <Jonah> Going to have to wash these. Carolyn, you might want to sit down. This could take a while. [19:38] <&Hebizuka> *Clothing worn. The kevlar vest still exposes your sideboobs, but at least you aren't in danger of incedent exposure anymore.* [19:39] * Jonah proceeds to go through the rest of the Sergeant's inventory, as well as the stuff scattered on the floor. [19:39] <Jonah> Can't /believe/ I was about to offer him to come with. Stupid, /stupid/ Jonah. [19:40] <&Hebizuka> *Check -everything- on the Sergeant's body? If so, it will take a while.* [19:41] <Jonah> *I have nothing but time. And if we go out like this, Carolyn and I will just argue some more.* [19:44] <&Hebizuka> *There are several items on the floor.* [19:44] <&Hebizuka> >Items not on the Sergeant's body >Sergeant's weapons >Sergeant's LBE >Sergeant's inventory [19:45] <&Hebizuka> *What do you want to look at first?* [19:46] <Jonah> >Inventory [19:47] <&Hebizuka> *You rummage through the Sergeant's body. You find the following:* [19:47] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: STANAG 30-round magazine. Size tier: Medium ; Weight: 1+0.3 (1.3) - [30/30, 30x FMJ] [19:47] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: Walther PK380 8-round magazine. Size tier: Tiny ; Weight: 0.25+0.08 (0.33) - [8/8, 8x FMJ] [19:47] <&Hebizuka> [Money] 200 P$ [19:47] <&Hebizuka> [Key item] Mobile phone - [Battery 6/6] [19:48] <Jonah> Oh thank /gods/ finally a phone. [19:48] * Jonah swipes it as well as the money. [19:48] <Jonah> And... Carolyn, this magazine says 'STANAG'. Can Malika use the ammo from this? [19:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Yeah it can. It's nearly the same rifle, too. [19:50] <Jonah> Alright. We'll get to that in a bit... [19:50] <Jonah> >Check Sergeant's LBE. [19:50] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Tactical vest) VersaForce: Capacity 8 units + Ammo 1 (4 mags only, max tier: Large) + Ammo 2 (4 pistol mags only, max tier: Small) [19:50] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Backpack) Field pack: Capacity 40 units [19:50] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Utility belt) Default belt: Capacity 0 units + Key items (Can carry key items) [19:50] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] -Finally-. [19:52] <Jonah> Alright, good. Let's get this on you. [19:53] <Jonah> >Items on the floor [19:53] <&Hebizuka> *Please wait, Carolyn is equipping the vest and the backpack.* [19:54] <Jonah> *Waiting warmly* [19:56] <&Hebizuka> *LBE equipped!* [19:56] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Colt Delta Elite pistol | 10mm Auto - Semi-auto | No accessory | Delta Elite 8-round mag, +1 | Weight: 3 - [7+1/8, 8x FMJ] - Cond: Excellent / Clns: Clean [19:56] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] 12 gauge, FRAG-12, 1 round - weight 0.05 [19:56] <&Hebizuka> *The Delta Elite appears to be the handgun the Tengu stole. He left it behind...* [19:57] <Jonah> Didn't even have the sense to use it. Should have let the Soldiers had him... [19:57] <Jonah> Oh. [19:58] * Jonah looks around for the chef, hoping she's still packing up. "Uh, Sir, you pumped a live shell away." [19:58] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Oh? OH. Darn. I'm pretty stupid. Lemme take that. [19:59] <&Hebizuka> *He takes the shell and loads it back inside his weapon.* [19:59] * Jonah hands it right over, before remembering to reload her own Remington. [19:59] <Jonah> Four shots out, four shots in... [19:59] <&Hebizuka> *Take buckshot from vest or pack? [20:00] <Jonah> *Pack* [20:01] <&Hebizuka> [Reload] Remington 870 MM: +4 Buck - [6+1/7, 7x Buck] [20:01] <&Hebizuka> *12 gauge buckshot remaining: 32 in backpack* [20:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Hey, Jonah, can you check the cadaver up, see if we can snag more ammo or something? [20:01] <Jonah> That's the plan. Do you mind stripping the STANAG magazine for the bullets? I'll hit up his actual gun. [20:02] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn headtilts.* [20:02] <~SU_Tempest> *She just takes the magazine entirely.* [20:02] <Jonah> ...Wait you can do that. [20:02] <Jonah> What. [20:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] It fits, you know. [20:02] <Jonah> ...No, I didn't. [20:04] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn giggles and removes the two STANAG mags; one from the fallen weapon, the other from the vest, then packs them for herself.* [20:05] * Jonah gently sighs once she hears Carolyn's... well, teasing giggle. But anything's better than her glares. [21:03] <&Hebizuka> *What else do you wish to do?* [21:06] * Jonah hands over the fancy Colt over to Carolyn, before getting up and stretching. "Could you keep that for me? We can probably sell it if we're lucky." [21:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Hmm, I dunno, do we have any ammo for it? [21:11] <Jonah> Uhm... let's see. [21:12] * Jonah takes out the magazine, trying to figure out what type it uses. [21:12] <Jonah> "Do you mind going through the other magazine, that 'Walther' one? Maybe we'll get lucky." [21:12] <&Hebizuka> *The Delta Elite uses 10mm Auto.* [21:13] <Jonah> *And the Walther?* [21:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] No luck, this uses .380 ACP. Though I could use THAT ammo. *She pats the MAC-11. Which also uses .380!* [21:14] <Jonah> Then let's take the ammo and the gun. The Delta still has eight shots, after all. [21:15] <Jonah> And, uhm - hope you don't mind carrying the stuff. I'm still full over here. [21:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Speaking of which, pass me my ammo! [21:18] <Jonah> Oh - right, the 200 rounds! [21:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I said I'd carry my stuff once I have my own bag. And the 60-round STANAG too. [21:19] * Jonah is all too happy to send the ammo her way - though it does take a bit to account for all the loose rounds. [21:20] <Jonah> And... two hundred shots. And the magazine. How's the weight for you? Not too difficult? [21:24] <&Hebizuka> *First, Carolyn unloads the PK380 and the spare mag, obtaining 16 rounds of .380 ACP FMJ.* [21:25] <&Hebizuka> *She then relieves you of the STANAG 60-round mag and the 200 loose rounds of 5.56 NATO.* [21:25] <&Hebizuka> *You can remove both from your inventory.* [21:25] <Jonah> *Removed* [21:25] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:25] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3349 - Front door: 183 - Right door: 330 - Roomstyle: 289 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [21:26] <Jonah> Are you ready now, Carolyn? [21:29] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 450 P$.* [21:29] * Jonah walks through the front door at a slow, steady pace. "Goodbye, Sir! Thanks for the meal!" [21:29] <&Hebizuka> *Mission complete!* [21:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Chef] Good luck in your career! [21:30] <Jonah> ...We never did tell her that we weren't porn stars, did we. [21:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Shhh. [21:30] <&Hebizuka> *Next special room at the 50th (bank)* [21:33] <&Hebizuka> [49] *A locker room, where a clothes shop has been opened. You also spot a strange item in the corner.* [21:34] <Jonah> ...What were the odds. [21:35] * Jonah dances a merry jig - which actually makes the kevlar rub against her breasts in a kinda... well. Let's just say she's glad she has pants back on. [21:35] <Jonah> Think we have enough for three sets of clothes? I want backups from now n. [21:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] If that shop has pants, any kind of pants, I'll be happy enough to not care for the rest. But both that and a shirt would be nice. [21:39] <~SU_Tempest> *The tailor welcomes you, before noticing Carolyn.* [21:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] Whoa, what happened to you? You all look like you've been robbed of your clothes. [21:41] <Jonah> That... that pretty much sums it up. Do you have any pants that'd hug her thighs? [21:41] <Jonah> We've been through a rough time lately. [21:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] Lemme see what I got for sale. [21:46] <&Hebizuka> =Clothes shop - Items for sale= (All clothes are brand new, Dmg 4/4) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Top - Guard shirt (Upper body, Arms) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 3 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Headgear - Engineer's hard hat - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant - Ballistic protective - Weight: 5 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Bottom - Leather pants (Lower body, Legs, Crotch) - AC Hardskin - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant - Weight: 5 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Headgear - Dyneema helmet - AC Kevlar-3 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-PROOF - Ballistic protective - Weight: 9 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Body addon - Type-4 Kevlar vest (Upper body) - AC Kevlar-4 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Weight: 9 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Legs addon - Dyneema leg pads - AC Kevlar-3 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-PROOF - Weight: 9[Clothing] Footwear - Galoshes - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 3 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Top - PT T-shirt (Upper body, Shoulders) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant, Sharp-resistant, Piercing-resistant - Weight: 3 [21:46] <&Hebizuka> --- [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Leg rig) Combat medic leg rig: Capacity 0 units + Meds 1 (1 unit meds only, max 1), Meds 2 (0.1 unit meds only, max 5) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Tactical vest) KSK assault vest: Capacity 5 units + Ammo (6 mags only, max tier: Large) + Spare wpn (6x C4 wpn only, max wgt 10) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Backpack) PLCE backpack: Capacity 100 units [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Utility belt) FS Hawk battle belt: Capacity 3 units + Key items (Can carry key items), Ammo (4 mags only, max tier: Medium) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Leg rig) STANAG mag rig: Capacity 0 units + Ammo (4 mags only, max tier: Medium) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Tactical vest) Taktische LTW: Capacity 6 units + Ammo (8 mags only, max tier: Medium), Spare weapon (4x C4 wpn only, max wgt 4 units) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Backpack) RPG Carrier: Capacity 25 units + Ammo (RL ammo only, max 4) [21:46] <&Hebizuka> [LBE] (Tactical vest) Hunting vest: Capacity 4 units + Ammo (Shotgun shells only, max 28) [21:48] <Jonah> Okay, well - looks like I get to see you in leather, Carolyn. [21:49] <Jonah> Uhm - Sir, how much for the... the leather pants, the Dyneema Helmet, the Pads, and both leg rigs? [21:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] 75 for the leather pants, 600 for the Dyneema helmet, another 600 for the leg pads, as for the leg rigs... 200 each. 1675 P$ for the whole lot. [21:55] <Jonah> Welp, just the pants it is. Unless I could sell you /my/ kevlar vest for credit on the Type-4? [21:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] The type-4 vest is 950 P$. [21:59] <Jonah> There goes that plan. [21:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] So, what will it be? [22:00] * Jonah shakes her head as she digs through her money pouch, handing over 75P$ to the tailor. "Carolyn, enjoy~" [22:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] And how much for the PT T-shirt? [22:00] * Jonah heads off to that suspicious looking corner in the meantime, taking a peek at the strange item that caught her eye. [22:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] 55; [22:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Jonah, do you mind ? [22:01] <Jonah> Uhm - oh, right. [22:01] * Jonah nervously chuckles. "Sorry, I forgot you weren't wearing anything underneath that vest. Yeah, go right on ahead." [22:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] It'll be 130 P$ total. [22:02] * Jonah hands the tailor the requested amount. Cha-ching. [22:02] <&Hebizuka> *Money carried remaining: 320 P$* [22:04] <&Hebizuka> *You are handed leather pants and a PT T-shirt, which Carolyn yoinks and puts on immediately.* [22:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Ahh, finally some decency. I could use shoes but I am not complaining. [22:04] <Jonah> Was he - oh. The galoshes. [22:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I am NOT wearing galoshes. Ew! [22:04] <Jonah> Well. /I/ could wear them, and you could have the boots. [22:05] <Jonah> Walking around in bare feet /sucks./ [22:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I'm used to wearing nothing but geta, and naked feet isn't much different. You keep the boots. [22:07] <Jonah> If you insist... [22:07] <Jonah> Oh, but let me know if you need help with those pants! The stuff seriously chafes without good underwear. [22:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Thanks, but I'll be fine [22:11] <Jonah> Boooo. [22:11] * Jonah distracts herself with the STRANGE ITEM that caught her eye. Strange is always good! [22:11] <&Hebizuka> [Key item] You found a detonator! This detonator is remote controlled and can be reused as long as you have explosive charges. [22:12] <Jonah> ... [22:12] * Jonah turns to the Tailor, her fingers very far away from the red button on the damn thing. "Is this yours, sir?" [22:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] Nah, not mine. People drop stuff all the time, yknow? [22:13] <Jonah> That's... okay, then. [22:14] * Jonah attaches it to her belt, then sits down and takes a breather while watching Carolyn change. [22:19] <Jonah> !mrooms1 [22:19] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 1764 - Roomstyle: 447 - Enemy strength: 4 /6 [22:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Tailor] Come back again! [22:20] <Jonah> Maybe if we have the money! [22:20] <Jonah> Through the door! [22:22] <&Hebizuka> [50] *You make your way inside of a bank. The banker, and three Maze Guards, can be seen.* [22:22] <&Hebizuka> *The Guards respectively carry a shotgun, a pistol, and a submachine gun. [22:24] <Jonah> ...Okay, you were totally right about accepting that chef's money. [22:26] <Jonah> So - do Mazeworld banks work the same way? You deposit money, get interest? [22:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I don't think there is interest. Maybe you should ask the banker for more info. Do you have a bank account? [22:28] <Jonah> Uhm - no. Contestant, remember? [22:28] <Jonah> I know /nothing/ about this place. [22:28] <Jonah> Think you could help me set one up? Or if you have one already, we could just use yours. [22:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] No ma'am. Make one. You won't regret it. [22:30] <Jonah> ...Alrighty, then. [22:30] * Jonah EVER SO CASUALLY saunters through the bank, straight to the teller. Act casual, act casual, maybe they won't arrest us... [22:31] <~SU_Tempest> *The Guards eye you, then Carolyn, then chatter with each other; their conversations are inaudible though.* [22:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Yes, how can I help you? [22:31] <Jonah> Good afternoon, sir. I, uh - I'd like to open an account, but I'm not sure how. [22:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Just tell me your full name and I will see if you're in our database, and if not, we will open an account for you. [22:34] <Jonah> I don't think I will be, but: Jonah. [22:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Hmm, indeed, you are not. All right, welcome aboard, like they say! Heh, heh. I have opened a bank account to your name. Would you like me to explain how banking functions work? [22:36] <Jonah> Oh. [22:36] <Jonah> Huh, that was easy. Yeah, sure. Do tell! [22:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] It's very simple really. You may, of course, deposit money to your account, withdraw when needed, and use our services as a simple, efficient, safe way to deposit your money. But there is more! [22:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] As part of the bank services, your bank account is linked with your shop credit; whatever the shop, no matter the amount or the location. You can transfer money from shop credit to bank account, and vice versa. [22:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] We also propose a vaulting service; we will safeguard your items, your stuff, your valuables, your mother's remains; whatever you wish, if you can carry it we can safeguard it. [22:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Absolutely no bank upkeep costs! Your money is YOUR money. [22:40] <Jonah> Hmmm... if I deposit something, can I have one of the bank men deliver it to me? [22:40] <Jonah> And, wen I transfer money - will the shops handle that, or do I need to call you guys on a phone? [22:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Lastly, if you cannot reach one of our banks, you may call the service number 5-PLR-BANK; you can access the telephone service and have access to all of the services, except item vaulting. We are working on a way to expand our services to provide item transporting anytime anywhere. [22:40] <Jonah> Ahhhhhhh, I see. [22:41] <Jonah> Alright, then. In that case, I'd like to make a deposit of 320P$. [22:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Oh, I almost forgot! It's also naturally possible to transfer money from your account to another, and if you receive payments, you will usually be notified. [22:41] <Jonah> That... that sounds like it could be useful. Carolyn, want to open one up as well? [22:41] <Jonah> We could split the 320P$. [22:48] * Jonah pulls the 320P$ out of her money pouch, sliding the small pile over to the banker. "320P$, please." [22:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] I take it will be a deposit, then. Very well! Let me just recount quickly... [22:50] <~SU_Tempest> [Banker] Okay. The cash has been deposited, your new bank account balance is 320 P$. [22:51] <Jonah> Alright - thank you very much for your help! [22:51] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [22:51] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 4615 - Front door: 1946 - Right door: 5246 - Roomstyle: 200 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [22:51] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Freeze! [22:52] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Uh, oh shit. [22:53] * Jonah just turns around, placing a hand on Carolyn's shoulder. "Can... can we help you, sirs?" [22:53] <&Hebizuka> *You find a gun pointed at you.* [22:53] <&Hebizuka> *In fact, three.* [22:53] <&Hebizuka> *The banker wonders what just happened.* [22:54] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard3] *Over the phone* Yes, this is Officer Rawlings, we have two suspects who correspond to the description of this afternoon's theft case. We're apprehending them. Yes, I'll stay online. [22:55] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Hands up, both of you, and don't you try resisting. [22:57] * Jonah doesn't bother, and just raises her hands to the sky. "What theft case!?" [22:57] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard3] *Still over the phone* ...Yeah, stay on the line Central. [22:58] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn puts her hands up as well.* [22:58] <&Hebizuka> *Confirm: You're under arrest. Are you going to submit or attempt something else?* [22:58] <Jonah> *Submit* [22:58] <&Hebizuka> *You and Carolyn are promptly cuffed by the police officers.* [23:01] <Jonah> Carolyn, don't resist and just stay calm. We're /innocent,/ we'll be fine. [23:01] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard3] *Still over the phone* ...Awright, Central, this is Rawlings again. The suspects have been cuffed, I confirm the Code 4. [23:02] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] All right, you two. You're going to explain to me why your chubby friend is walking around with a stolen piece of armor. [23:02] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn sighs and rolls her eyes at the comment.* [23:03] <Jonah> Stolen? If it was stolen it wasn't by us - we found it on a corpse, with the rest of these weapons! [23:04] <Jonah> We figured it was our lucky day, so we just took everything it left behind. [23:05] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] All right, let me be very clear with you. I don't like liars, okay? We have two people who have detailed your physical description, and people walking around with armor that rare and that expensive are few and far between. [23:05] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Now, you're going to explain to me why you stole armor from a teacher and a student. [23:07] <Jonah> We. Didn't. Steal. If this armor is that rare and expensive, /and/ we knew it was stolen, then why would we /waltz into a bank with it./ [23:08] <Jonah> If that teacher and student want this thing back, they can /take/ it. We just don't want any trouble! [23:08] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard3] *Still on the phone* Central, this is Rawling again. The suspects keep claiming they didn't steal it. [23:10] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] If I heard correctly, your name is Jonah, right? Jonah, please don't make my job more difficult. If you admit to it, I will confiscate the armor, and let you go. If you keep denying, I'll be forced to drag both of you to prison, and the punishment will be a lot harsher. [23:10] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn glances at you and shakes her head no, as if to say "Shut up!"* [23:12] * Jonah takes a meaningful glance back at Carolyn, and promptly zips her mouth tight-shut. [23:12] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Last chance, Jonah. I can easily write "resisting arrest" and have enough to send you both to the slammer. Why did you steal the armor? [23:13] * Jonah knows how this rolls. Hell, she's /done this herself./ And she's not talking. [23:14] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Your call, lady. Rawlings, they're not gonna pipe up. We're going home with 'em, it seems. [23:15] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard3] My name is Rawling, not Rawlings. There is no "S". Ahem. *takes the phone up to his ear again* Yeah, it's Officer Rawling. Central, the suspects are resisting arrest. We are elevating them to code Red and taking them home. ...All right. 10-4. *hangs up* [23:17] <&Hebizuka> *You have been arrested and are taken to a prison room along with Carolyn. The officers drag you through several rooms. 7 turns pass, until you're finally taken to a proper prison room. There is only one other prisoner there. You notice all the prisoner is wearing, are tattered jeans, and that they're restrained to the wall by a chain and an ankle cuff.* [23:21] <&Hebizuka> *Still cuffed, the Guards who arrested you have you sit down in the middle of the room. A Guard Chief gets inside, stares at you, then sighs.* [23:22] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] Okay, what's that now. [23:22] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] The PCV theft perps, sir. We caught 'em. [23:23] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] Two rowdy girls, seriously? *Sigh.* [23:24] * Jonah softly grumbles to herself, just loud enough for only Carolyn to hear. "Help, help, I'm being oppressed." [23:25] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] Confiscate the armor... and give me the fat girl's short rifle and the blonde's P90. Then let them sit down in here, minimal time, that will do... The fuck am I even bothering myself with. I thought we were catching criminals, not a bunch of high school rejects. [23:25] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Sir? With all due respect, it's pretty valuable armor... [23:27] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] Do I look like I give a shit? I caught rapists, bank robbers, murderers, psychopaths, rogue cops, and all sorts of scum. I don't give two shits about those brats. Not even any violence? Not even a shot fired? You're wasting my time and my resources. [23:28] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] Oh I bet you got your dick rock hard when you called central and went all "Yesss I bagged me two code reds!" Well guess what, Officer Ridges. Theft is not code Red, and them saying they didn't do it isn't resisting arrest. You know what? I'm not even gonna confiscate their guns. Just give me the PCV, strip them down, give them the prisoner rags and have 'em sit for minimum length. [23:28] <~SU_Tempest> *The Guard looks dejected.* [23:28] <~SU_Tempest> [GChief] You're a piece of shit, Ridges. You get me? Oh and, you're on prison guard duty. No more banks for you, you can't even stay still in a fucking bank. [23:29] <~SU_Tempest> [MzGuard2] Sir! I- [23:29] <&Hebizuka> *He leaves and slams the door hard.* [23:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Fuck's sake. [23:30] * Jonah very wisely opens her mouth to speak. "So, the rags?" [23:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Prisoner] Sounds like you got problems again, Ridges? Heh heh heh. [23:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Shut the fuck up, Johnny. YOU ain't getting out anytime soon. [23:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Prisoner] Oh no doubt about it. But I'm already aaaall excited you're keeping me company, sweetiebuns. [23:31] <~SU_Tempest> *The use of "sweetiebuns" is heavily contrasted by the low, ragged voice of what is very clearly a male prisoner. It sounds eerie, to say the least.* [23:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Just shut it... [23:32] * Jonah is enjoying the hell out of her schadenfreude. [23:32] <Jonah> Uhm - rags, sir? We'd like to get in and out of prison now. [23:32] <&Hebizuka> *The Guard hastily strips Carolyn down of all of her clothes, weapons, and LBE, then you. He hauls all of that stuff to the room the Chief went into, before coming back.* [23:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Shut the fuck up, you too. [23:34] <&Hebizuka> *The Guard came back with tattered jeans, and... Nothing else, yup. Guess you're spending prison time with exposed breasts. You're finally attached to the wall via an ankle chain, then you are de-cuffed at least. Though you can't walk out of the prison room and have to share it with another prisoner, you can at least move about as you wish inside the room.* [23:34] <&Hebizuka> *The prison sentence lasts 20 turns.* [23:35] * Jonah sighs with relief as she lets her puppies finally breathe. "You didn't want me shutting up before~!" [23:35] * Jonah glances towards the other prisoner. With any luck it's Carolyn. [23:35] <&Hebizuka> *Small reminder you AND Carolyn are sharing the room with ANOTHER prisoner.* [23:36] <&Hebizuka> *At least you remain together.* [23:36] <Jonah> *Oh, even better~!* [23:36] <&Hebizuka> *Guard Ridges goes inside the guarding booth and opens a newspaper, not even bothering to look at any of you.* [23:36] <Jonah> ...So. Was that excitement enough for you, Carolyn? You can put 'prison time' on your experiences list now. [23:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Any of you cause a ruckus, I'll shoot all of you. You try to riot, you get a bullet. You try to hit me, you get a bullet. Got that? And you Johnny, if I see you masturbate at me again, I'm shooting your dick off. [23:38] <Jonah> Homophobe. Check your privilege. [23:39] <~SU_Tempest> *Johnny chuckles at that.* [23:40] <Jonah> So, uh - Johnny, was it? What are you in for? [23:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Not sure you wanna know, kid. I hear you two in for some bullshit charges though? [23:41] <Jonah> And is it long enough that you'll starve to death? [23:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] They've been feeding me with the best in stale bread and shitty toilet water, but I guess I'm doing fine, for someone who's in there supposedly for "life". [23:42] <Jonah> Absolutely. That armor saved Carolyn's life, and it was the /best/ find of our lives. I'm pissed to see it go. [23:42] <Jonah> Huh, really? You'd think they'd just leave you here to rot and be done with it. [23:43] <Jonah> At least you get eye-candy to look at, I guess. You always bat for the other team, or is this that 'prison-gay' thing I always hear about? [23:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] They do that sometimes. But I guess they love me too much to see me die. Maybe Chief Sousa loves to keep me around so I can annoy Ridgeykins. [23:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] *Chuckle* Honey, you're cute but I'm not into girls. I have always been gay, much to Ridgeylove's annoyance. [23:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Will you shut the FUCK up already? [23:44] <Jonah> Just having some honest conversation, officer! Us Code Reds tend to flock together. [23:45] <Jonah> So - Carolyn. You've been pretty quiet. Are you okay? [23:46] * Jonah tests the length of the chain, making sure it's long enough to walk over to the other girl. [23:46] <Jonah> ...Hey, talk to me. Please? [23:48] <Jonah> ...Carolyn? [23:49] <Jonah> I mean - if you're mad, I understand. We've been through shit after shit ever since we met up. [23:51] <Jonah> And... and I've been a really shitty knight. I can't seem to help anyone at all. I mean, there's the chef, but... [23:52] <Jonah> Well...just talk to me. Even if the only thing you want to say is cursing, or slurs, or... anything. [23:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] It's not that I'm mad. It's just I never imagined I'd end up in prison one day. [23:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Oh well, I reap what I sow.. [00:00] <Jonah> You... you're taking this a lot calmer than I am. [00:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *sigh* To be honest I pretty damn unhappy. [00:01] <Jonah> This... this wasn't quite what you were expecting on a 'divine mission', was it. [00:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] No shit. [00:03] * Jonah waits for her to continue... but just sighs when it doesn't seem like much else is coming. [00:03] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn crosses her arms and stares at nothing.* [00:04] <Jonah> ...The stripping, the soldiers and guards... things will probably be like this for a while. [00:04] <Jonah> I am... I am not a very lucky person. [00:04] <~SU_Tempest> *The shrine maiden is amount to speak up, but sighs and doesn't say a word.* [00:05] <Jonah> If you want to go home after we get out, I won't stop you. We can find another teleportation pad, and... say our goodbyes there. [00:06] <Jonah> Because... let's face it, you've basically been my keeper the entire time. I don't really... /do/ anything for you. [00:06] <Jonah> And I'm not comfortable with relationships that are all take, no give. [00:06] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Sorry to peep on; but it occured to me you talked about a divine mission. What exactly is your friend, blondie? [00:07] <Jonah> We're holy knights. [00:07] <Jonah> ...We are /really shitty/ holy knights. [00:07] <Jonah> Don't even have swords. [00:07] * Jonah isn't going to say a damn word about her maiden status. That secret's safe with her, at least. [00:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Don't listen to that dumbass. I'm a shrine maiden who has been unfortunately depossessed of her outfit, and she's a crazy girl who believes in knights and paladins. [00:07] <~SU_Tempest> *So much for secret keeping.* [00:08] <Jonah> Welp. [00:08] <Jonah> Won't deny the crazy. [00:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] A shrine maiden and a paladin, huh. [00:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] My respects to you both if you're people of the faith. [00:08] <Jonah> More like a shrine maiden and someone in need of psychiatric meds. [00:09] <Jonah> ...That. That isn't something you'd normally here from a 'for life' prisoner. [00:09] <~SU_Tempest> *He makes a gesture which you assume is a religious one; holds one hand flat and upright in the air, then nods. Carolyn replies with the same gesture.* [00:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] You familiar with the faith, sir? [00:09] * Jonah ...doesn't. It's not her faith, so. [00:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Yeah. Sister's a miko too. And had I been born female I'd have joined too. Alas. Here I am, big ole me with my cock and my muscles, and my life sentence. [00:10] <Jonah> You'd really think the gods would be more equal-opportunity about that sort of thing. [00:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] It's how it is, I'm not complaining. [00:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] If you really want to know why I'm in here, I can tell you, but it ain't for the faint of heart. [00:13] <Jonah> Well, then... from one faithful to another. Any advice for - ahhh. [00:13] <Jonah> I'd like to hear. Carolyn? [00:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Curious too. How'd the brother of a servant of the Gods end up here? [00:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Officially it's because of double murder and rape. [00:15] <Jonah> And unofficially it's a revenge murder after someone raped and killed your sister? [00:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] No-one shot my sister, if you'd let me finish I'll explain. [00:16] * Jonah snaps her fingers in diasappointment. One of these days she'll be right on the money on that. [00:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] It's a stacked deck story. A cop not unlike Ridgeychu "happened" to be in the immediate vicinity, and refused to hear my pleas. I hadn't killed that couple, it's an unfortunate circumstance of a sex game that ended with two dead bodies wearing ripped leather. Don't play russian roulette with each other when one is blind, the other restrained by the feet, and with a dildo up the ass. [00:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] My only problem is that I happened to have an interest in the guy, and I didn't take it too kindly of him being with a woman. But I had no intent to kill him. It's just... Some people apparently wanted to see my ass in prison really badly. [00:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Of course, when an "Officer of the Law" *silly emphasis* barges in the room, sees me above two scantily-dressed cadavers while I'm myself naked and holding one of the game revolvers in my hand, he didn't ask me any questions. He pointed that shotgun of his at me, cuffed me, and dragged me for rape and murder. He was kinda like Ridgey-kun. He absolutely wanted to bag a Code 11 cuz it'd get him promoted. [00:19] <Jonah> ...Why were you naked? [00:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Well, it was SUPPOSED to be a threesome... [00:19] <~SU_Tempest> *He smirks.* [00:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I just didn't want to touch that girl. Hell no. [00:20] <Jonah> Playing Russian Roulette with live rounds sounds like a really dumb idea. [00:21] <Jonah> I mean, on first brush, I could see why he wanted to arrest you. [00:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] These fucks liked to "live dangerously". I wanted to convince him into stopping that crap, but, heh. Guess I got dragged in the "daaayngerous lifestyle". [00:22] <Jonah> Well. That's some pretty shitty luck. [00:22] <Jonah> At least you have your life, but. [00:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I like to call prison the Bad Luck Rehab Center. [00:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I'm fairly sure being there is more shameful than being dead. I kinda understand why real criminals never stop and push the cops into shooting them. [00:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] That's what I get for trying to calm a boyfriend down from playing shitty-ass BDSM games with that crazy ass woman. Now they're both dead. Ain't that the shittiest thing? I've gotten used to the idea now. [00:24] <Jonah> It's...it's more shameful because you have to deal with the aftermath. 'Real' criminals walk away from the game, and the rest of us play the cards we're dealt with. [00:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I know, right? At least I know I can annoy Ridgieball here. He loves it when I show him the goods. AIN'T THAT RIGHT? [00:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Fuck you. [00:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Oh I know you want a piece of me, but alas, I'm the big bad prisoner and you're the upstanding ~police officer~. *Heavy irony* [00:25] <Jonah> He wants you t - damn, beat me to the punch. [00:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] He's fronting, he can't shoot the prisoners or mistreat any of us, though. When we're here, all they can do is watch us and make sure we ain't starting no riots. They can't abuse us here, cuz if they do, well, he pretty much ends up in our spot instead. [00:27] <Jonah> They /could/ increase sentence time... but I guess that doesn't really matter for you, does it? [00:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Ain't no sweeter freshmeat than a cop thrown in prison. [00:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Ain't none of them that doesn't become someone's cocksleeve either. No matter the gender, heh heh. [00:27] <Jonah> You'd think Officer Ridges would just... I don't know, open up your old case and try to prove you innocent. [00:28] <Jonah> Just to get you /away/ from him. [00:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] He don't care. All he's got a hard-on for is seeing me dead. [00:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] He's one of THOSE cops, who wouldn't cross the holy blue line but has zero care for prisoners. We're less than human for them. [00:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] If you a scum in his eyes, you a scum forever. Nothing changes it. So might as well have fun with it. [00:29] <Jonah> Any lines /you/ wouldn't cross, Johnny? [00:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Touchin' a woman. [00:29] <Jonah> Since, you know, you were just making rape jokes. [00:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Never gonna happen. [00:29] <Jonah> Pffffffffft. Scrub. Women are great. [00:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Says the girl prisoner? Heh. Not exactly the kinda person mama would want to see me take advice on, huh? [00:30] <Jonah> We're terribly soft and gentle and make the /best/ moans. [00:30] <Jonah> Hey, we got arrested on trumped up charges, remember? We're totally innocent.] [00:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Oh, boy. You haven't heard moaning. When you see a guy like Ridgey-chan getting his tight anus pierced by a guy like me? You'll know what moaning is. They get soft REAL fast. *Smirk* [00:31] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn seems very uncomfortable at all the wanton sex talk.* [00:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Gays, I swear... [00:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Freakin shameless. [00:32] <Jonah> Hey, that's not fair at all. [00:32] <Jonah> There are /tons/ of heterosexual men and women who are incredibly shameless. [00:32] <Jonah> Like corrupted miko. [00:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] No offense taken. I get that often. Can't say it's untrue, I -am- a shameless gayboy. Hahaha. [00:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Who are you calling corrupt? You got an erection in front of me. YOU're the fucking shameless lady. [00:34] <~SU_Tempest> *The prisoner just laughs at that.* [00:35] <Jonah> I wasn't calling you corrupt. You're as pure as snow. [00:35] <Jonah> And - you're right. I am shameless. I did get an erection. [00:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Sure I am. I'm totally in prison because I'm pure as snow. [00:35] <Jonah> And I still fucking hated it and wanted to die. [00:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Hey blondie, you a futa? [00:35] <Jonah> 'Despite'. You're totally in prison /despite/ being pure as snow. [00:36] <Jonah> And - if that's the term for having a dick where it doesn't belong, then yeah. Guess I fucking am. [00:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Mad respect for your kind. Futa get picked on all the time. [00:36] <Jonah> I'd chop it off myself if I could survive the blood loss. [00:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] When you get out, save up. Hospitals can do wonders. [00:37] <Jonah> Hah. I wish. I put all my excess cash into a shrine. [00:38] <Jonah> Wasting all that cash just to get rid of it feels... wrong. I could be doing a lot more good with that kind of dough. [00:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I'd do it, call myself Josie and join the faith, but I wouldn't be able to torture Ridgey-baby here anymore. Plus I ended up accepting what I am. [00:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Ain't it right, "officer"? [00:38] <~SU_Tempest> *All he gets is a grumble.* [00:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Aw c'mon, gimme a smile. Here, I'll jerk to your pretty face. [00:39] <~SU_Tempest> *The prisoner gestures to undoing his pants,which sends the Guard into a flying rage.* [00:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] I SAID STOP FUCKING MASTURBATING! STOP IT, I SWEAR I'LL SHOOT YOUR DICK OFF IF YOU DO IT AGAIN! [00:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] You're -hot- when you're angry. [00:40] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn can't help but chuckle at the uncanny couple.* [00:40] <Jonah> Passionate would be a better word for it. Lots of passion in that body of his, just waiting to be released. [00:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Oh yes, baby. You don't know how much. [00:41] <&Hebizuka> *The incident laid at rest, there is not much to do. Do you want to wait out a bit?* [00:42] <Jonah> *Yeah. I have some time left to get used to being alone again. Might as well use it.* [00:42] <&Hebizuka> *5 turns pass... Sentence remaining: 15 turns.* [00:43] <Jonah> So, Jonny. You had dangerous loves. Did they get into mushrooms? [00:43] <&Hebizuka> *Guard Ridges is still reading his newspaper, over and over again. Johnny remained calm, but has one hand close from his crotch; looks like he really WANTS to have 'fun'.* [00:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] None of them that I know of. Had plenty of adventures but none did shrooms. [00:45] <Jonah> Mmm. Damn. Looks like I'm shelling out cash for identification after all. [00:45] <&Hebizuka> *Want to wait more?* [00:45] * Jonah gestures to Johnny's, well, bulge. "So, are you postponing because of us?" [00:45] <Jonah> "Because if so, we're grateful." [00:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Nah, I'm waiting until he falls asleep or goes to take a shit. [00:46] <Jonah> So he /would/ shoot it off if you tried in front of him. [00:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't... [00:47] <Jonah> *Let's wait some more.* [00:48] <&Hebizuka> *Five more turns pass.* [00:49] <&Hebizuka> *Ridges leaves his booth and goes through the door - by now you notice it's the only one door in the room.* [00:50] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Going to go fetch food for you fucking rejects, since it's my "duty" to do so. Don't go starting a riot or a threesome, or some shit. [00:51] <Jonah> Not into men, with /or/ without vaginas. [00:53] <Jonah> So, uhm. I don't really have a right to ask this of you, Johnny. [00:54] <Jonah> But if you could just kinda... turn the other way when you do your business, we'd be relieved. [00:54] <&Hebizuka> *Johnny stands up, drops his pants, and begins jerking the monkey in front of the guard booth.* [00:54] <Jonah> Orrrrrrrr not. [00:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Hrngh~! This won't be long. [00:54] <Jonah> ...Well, might as go the whole mile. Try to hit that newspaper, will ya? [00:56] <&Hebizuka> *After not even forty-five seconds, the prisoner manages to repaint the newspaper and the guard booth door with streaks of white. He groans in relief and satisfaction.* [00:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Ohh yessss. [00:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] There's even some on the seat. Hahahaaa. [00:57] <Jonah> That. Is a /lot/ of cum. [00:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Been savin' up, hun. [00:57] <Jonah> So what are you gonna do when you run out? Stop masturbating? [00:58] <&Hebizuka> *He quickly puts his only piece of clothing back on, and waits for the Guard's return. Just as he is finished, Ridges returns.* [00:58] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Shh. [00:59] <&Hebizuka> *Ridges throws food on the floor, which all of you can reach.* [00:59] <Jonah> *Whisper* How does he /not/ notice. [01:00] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Commodity - Bread. 1d5 [01:00] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Commodity - Bread. 1d5 [01:00] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Bottle of mineral water. 1d3 [01:00] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Bottle of mineral water. 1d3 [01:00] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Fast-food - Sandwich. 1d15 [01:00] <Jonah> Carolyn, you can have the stuff in our pack once we're out, if you don't want any prison food. [01:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] Feast up, criminals, I'm going back in my booth. -- OH WHAT THE FUCK. JOHNNY, I SWEAR TO FUCK. [01:00] <Jonah> *There* we go. [01:00] <~SU_Tempest> *The prisoner can't help chuckling and making suggestive eyes at the Guard.* [01:01] <~SU_Tempest> *Ridges unholsters his handgun.* [01:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] I told you, I told you, you piece of fag shit, I'll kill you if you do it again! Now you're getting it coming! [01:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] HELP! THE GUARD IS ABUSING ME! HELP! HELP! *surprisingly high pitched.* [01:02] <~SU_Tempest> *But Ridges begins beating Johnny up by pistolwhipping him.* [01:02] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [01:02] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Upper body (Stomach, guts, lower back) [01:02] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [01:02] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 7 [01:02] <Jonah> Oh /fuck/ no. [01:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Ow... fuck... [01:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] You like that? You like that?! You fucking bitch, you like that?! [01:03] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Haha, you really are a dirtbag... You broke a rib, you fuck... ow, ohoho, ow... [01:03] <&Hebizuka> *One turn passes.* [01:04] * Jonah runs towards the bars on the prison, and begins yelling for help. "OFFICER RIDGES IS ABUSING A PRISONER! HELP, HELP!" [01:04] <&Hebizuka> *The Guard Chief from earlier barges in the room. It's probably Chief Sousa.* [01:04] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] That does it, Ridges! You're fired! [01:04] <Jonah> "We're /literally being oppressed now!"/ [01:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Ridges] The fucker masturbated on my seat AGAIN! [01:05] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] I'm tired of your excuses, Ridges. Give me your gun and your hat. You are fired. [01:05] <~SU_Tempest> *Johnny is BEAMING.* [01:05] <Jonah> *Whisper* How does he /not notice the cum./ [01:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper* I don't really think he cares. [01:05] <Jonah> *Whisper* Unless he was /looking/ for a - oh. [01:06] <Jonah> Yeah, that /does/ make sense. [01:06] <&Hebizuka> *Ridges, dejected, turns his handgun and cop hat to his now ex-superior, then leaves the room.* [01:07] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Lee, I'm going to soften your sentence and get you a medic. You're leaving in three days. [01:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] That's a joke, sir? [01:07] <Jonah> ... /Congratulations/ man. [01:07] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] No it's not. I'm tired of those masturbation reports. Get out of here, get decent, and stop it with the deviant lifestyle. I know the arrest is fishy. [01:07] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] But now Ridges beat you up, I have an excuse to get you out. [01:08] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Consider it a divine intervention, or something. *He shrugs and leaves.* [01:08] <Jonah> ...DID HE JUST SAY THAT. [01:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] *He turns at you and beams.* Well, you know what? I'm going to go to a shrine and pray everyday. Praise the Gods! [01:09] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn chuckles.* [01:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Heh, heheh. Yeah. Praise the Gods. We're not doing so bad for a bunch of convicts. [01:09] <Jonah> That's. That's - ahahahahahaha. [01:09] <Jonah> Well, you're leaving in three days, right? We're going to be gone sooner, but... [01:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Yo, blondie, miko girl. What's your names? I gotta remember you. [01:10] * Jonah turns to Carolyn really quickly, whispering into her ear. "Do you wanna tell him about /your/ shrine? He might like it there." [01:10] <Jonah> *Whisper* Plus, with you gone, the shrine must be getting dusty. [01:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper* It's no longer my shrine, Jonah. The moment I decided to leave, it no longer was mine. [01:15] <Jonah> Well... alright then. Uhm - my name's Jonah, and she's Carolyn Knight. And if you can make it to Room 5454, you should be able to find a shrine there. [01:15] <Jonah> It's where Carolyn used to... well, work, I guess. Another shrine maiden's probably taken over by now. [01:16] <Jonah> But... it's a good Sector, with good people. You might like it there. [01:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I live pretty far away, all the way in Sector 7. This will take a while. But I might just move there. [01:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] I need a change of life anyway. [01:19] <Jonah> Praise the Gods, Johnny Lee, because /you just got rewarded for reckless masturbation./ [01:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Well, blondie... Jonah. And ma'am, miss Knight. I'll remember you guys, okay? We may never meet again, but, I gotta say, thanks for the company. I promise it's the last time I do it though, but maybe all of this would've never happened if you girls were not there. [01:22] <Jonah> And we'll remember you. If we ever find a teleportation pad, we'll definitely head on over to visit! [01:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] Like I said, I'm moving. Once I get out, I'm gonna travel a bit, and change my life. [01:23] <&Hebizuka> *Wait more?* [01:25] <Jonah> *Wait more~!* [01:25] <&Hebizuka> *9 turns pass...* [01:25] <&Hebizuka> *The Guard Chief comes in again.* [01:26] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] All right, that's enough. *He uncuffs both of you, and invites you to follow him in his office.* [01:27] <Jonah> See you later, cowboy~ [01:27] * Jonah tips her imaginary hat to Johnny Lee, and follows the Chief. [01:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Johnny] See ya, ladies. [01:28] <&Hebizuka> *You're now inside the Chief's office.* [01:29] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Mkay so. Your name is... Jonah. And your friend is... Carolyn Knight. Huh. The Contestant, and a shrine maiden. Now, you two are free and I'm going to give your stuff back, minus the stolen PCV. But before I let you take your gear back, I'm curious about something. [01:30] <Jonah> Wait you guys know about my Contestant status? [01:30] <Jonah> I thought everyone /else/ thought that was a myth! [01:31] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Since you were arrested, we ran a background check. Turns out it's not only a myth but our database even lists that as your occupation. So, I guess it's a strange kind of honor to meet you, even if I wish it was through other circumstances! But that's not that I want to ask. I'm just curious, why is your friend not wearing shrine maiden clothes? [01:31] <Jonah> Uhm. Well... it's kinda /because/ I'm the Contestant that it happened. [01:32] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Why's that? [01:32] <Jonah> We...we got caught in a cage trap, and the GM Hebizuka stole our clothes. [01:32] <Jonah> It was either that or starve to death in a cage. [01:32] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Now that's a really crappy story, ma'am. [01:32] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] But eh. I've heard stranger things, so I guess I'll take your word for it. Anyway... [01:33] <&Hebizuka> *The Chief begins by handing back your clothes.* [01:33] <&Hebizuka> *You are now wearing your clothing and armor again instead of prisoner garb.* [01:33] <Jonah> Oh, uhm. [01:33] <Jonah> Incidentally, do we get to /keep/ these jeans? [01:34] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] As for your bags and weapons, these are waiting outside of the police station, so let me follow you out. And no. We're keeping the prisoner jeans. For the next people who will replace you. [01:34] <Jonah> Because after that whole thing with the cage, we've discovered we are a lot less picky about clothing. [01:34] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Sorry ma'am. Police equipment, technically. [01:34] <Jonah> Nuts. Thanks for going easy on us, Sir. Here's hoping the next prisoners are worth your time. [01:35] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Don't sweat it. I believe in errors. Just don't steal people's gear anymore, aight? If you want something, at least trade for it. [01:35] <~SU_Tempest> *He accompanies the both of you on the way outside. You now find yourselves outside of a police station. You see crates, in which your LBE and weapons have been placed, untouched.* [01:35] <Jonah> We'll do our best to stay outta your hair. [01:36] <~SU_Tempest> *Re-equip all of your old gear?* [01:36] <Jonah> *Hell yeah, Motherfucker.* [01:36] <~SU_Tempest> *LBE and weapons reacquired! Carolyn got her stuff back as well.* [01:36] <~SU_Tempest> [GdChief] Stay safe out there. [01:36] <~SU_Tempest> *He waves, and returns inside the station. !mrooms3 to resume!* [01:37] <Jonah> So...Carolyn. Before we continue. [01:38] * Jonah turns to face the shrine maiden, her face schooled into something that... hopefully looks solemn. [01:38] <Jonah> Do you want to stay, or do you want to go? [01:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Jonah, if there's one thing I've certainly been taught today, it's how loyalty makes miracles. I'm staying with you, for the best or for the worst. [01:41] <Jonah> *I...I can't resist this.* [01:42] * Jonah kisses her on the lips - just a quick, tiny peck - before pulling her into the tightest hug the paladin's ever given. [01:42] <Jonah> Thank you. Just... thank you, so much. [01:42] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn's face flashes tomato red the instant your lips connect with hers. But she eventually hugs you back, just as tight.* [01:43] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [01:43] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 5541 - Front door: 6302 - Right door: 1745 - Roomstyle: 271 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [01:43] <Jonah> Let's charge~ [01:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] You know, I'm maybe a crappy shrine maiden, and you're maybe a horrible paladin, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Miko life would have never given me that. [01:44] <Jonah> Then... I'm glad the Gods deemed it fit to bring us together. [01:45] <Jonah> I... I love you I really do. [01:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] *whisper* Ask me next time you want to kiss me though. [01:47] <&Hebizuka> *Which door?* [01:47] <Jonah> *Whisper* I will. [01:47] <Jonah> *Charging through the front!* [01:55] <&Hebizuka> [51] *A regular, featureless room. You can see a floating object, hovering in mid-air in front of you.* [02:09] * Jonah can feel the... the /power/ just radiating from this thing. A terrible, powerful artifact. [02:10] <Jonah> ...It feels... it /feels/ like you, Carolyn. Warm. Do you - do you know what this is? [02:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] ... Praise the Gods. [02:10] <&Hebizuka> *You have obtained the Amulet of the North!* [02:11] <&Hebizuka> *Maximum Pain threshold +10%. Your Pain level has now been set to -10%.* [02:11] <&Hebizuka> *Maximum Blood +2, now set to 22 units.* [02:11] <&Hebizuka> *Maximum Poison counter +2, now set to 7 turns.* [02:15] <Jonah> That's... just holding it makes me feel so strong. [02:15] <Jonah> Like Xuanwu himself is guarding me. [02:15] <Jonah> This... this is... Carolyn, here, /feel it./ [02:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] I know. I can feel it from right here. [02:16] * Jonah all but forces the amulet into her hands, making the miko's fingers curl around the metal. [02:16] <Jonah> But it feels even better like this. [02:16] <&Hebizuka> *The amulet refuses to be touched by anyone other than you! Carolyn can't approach her hands - it feels so hot she feels like she 's approaching lava.* [02:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Ouch! Shit! That burns... Darn! It really IS true that the Amulets are for you to be found and you only... [02:18] <Jonah> Gah - GAH!? [02:18] * Jonah yanks it back from her. "Oh, shit - are you okay? Does it hurt?" [02:18] <~SU_Tempest> *But when you touch it, it feels like normal.* [02:18] <~SU_Tempest> *It's strange!* [02:19] <Jonah> That's... but that's... that's so /unfair./ [02:19] <Jonah> If it wasn't for you, I'd have never gotten this far. You're the miko. [02:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Can't rewrite the prophecy, Jonah. Come on, now. We have got to get a move on. [02:20] <Jonah> That's... /okay,/ then. [02:21] * Jonah 's mood has soured a bit, but the... sheer, pulsing warmth of the amulet makes it sting a bit less. [02:21] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [02:21] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3698 - Front door: 627 - Right door: 733 - Roomstyle: 243 - Enemy strength: 2 /6 [02:22] <Jonah> ...Before we go. [02:22] <Jonah> Carolyn... [02:22] <Jonah> Can I kiss you again? [02:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] No, you eager girl.~ [02:23] <Jonah> Nuts~ [02:23] * Jonah walks valiantly through the front door! [02:23] <&Hebizuka> [52] *A regular, featureless room. A gambler has set up their gaming stand up.* [02:25] <Jonah> ...Felling lucky, Caro - AH CRAP ALL MY MONEY'S IN THE BANK. [02:25] <Jonah> Ffffffffffffffffffffffffff. [02:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Gambler] Well, no cash, no game. [02:26] <Jonah> Don't suppose you'll take gems and solid gold lighters? [02:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Gambler] Nope. Cash only. [02:27] <Jonah> Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls. [02:28] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [02:28] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 5030 - Front door: 3928 - Right door: 46 - Roomstyle: 101 - Enemy strength: 2 /6 [02:29] <Jonah> Friggen /banks/ with their /credit/ and their /not physical coinage./ [02:29] <~SU_Tempest> *Carolyn rolls her eyes.* [02:29] * Jonah is harrumphing so hard she accidentally goes through the right door instead of the front! [02:30] <&Hebizuka> [53] *You go up a flight of stairs. You get in a storage area, which is mostly useless and empty right now, except for a weapon in the corner, collecting dust.* [02:31] <Jonah> One of these days, we'll find a weapon shop and be /super rich./ [02:31] * Jonah takes a glance at the dusty weapon! [02:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Let's hope. [02:31] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Ruger Mini-14GB assault rifle | 5.56x45mm NATO - Semi-auto | Silencer | Mini-14 20-round mag, +1 | Weight: 14 - [19+1/20, 20x FMJ] - Cond: Good / Clns: Clean [02:31] <Jonah> Wait. This is a Ruger. [02:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Huh. Looks like a hunting rifle. [02:31] <Jonah> I /have/ a Ruger. [02:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] You have a pistol though. [02:32] <Jonah> Oh. [02:32] <Jonah> That's not how it works? [02:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] "Ruger" is a brand. Sorta. [02:32] <Jonah> Oh, like Winchester or Remington. [02:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Yeah! I thought you didn't know anything about guns? You see, you know some stuff. [02:33] <Jonah> I don't! I just kinda... picked up on some stuff when I came here. [02:33] <Jonah> But... well, it's a lot lighter than my shotgun, or the sniper rifle. [02:33] <Jonah> Think we have the room for it in your pack, Carolyn? [02:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Umm, let me check... [02:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] It's a little heavy but I can accomodate. [02:36] <Jonah> We can always toss it out later. No worries. [02:37] * Jonah slides the rifle in, and takes a look at the doors. [02:37] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [02:37] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 505 - Front door: 2985 - Right door: 4705 - Roomstyle: 242 - Enemy strength: 4 /6 [02:37] <Jonah> Front door it is~ [02:37] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn has spared the Mini-14 in her backpack.* [02:39] <&Hebizuka> [54] *A swamp room, with roughly six inches of water. The smell is putrid; it's like you are in some sewer part of the Mazes. There is a box of ammunition lodged in a crack on the wall... and it's dry, thankfully.* [02:41] * Jonah glances around, checking for traps first an foremost! [02:47] <&Hebizuka> *You cannot find any traps.* [02:49] <Jonah> Alright. Just hold your breath, Carolyn, we'll wash your feet as soon as we're done. [02:50] * Jonah moves over to the box of ammunition, quickly examining it before the stench knocks her out [02:50] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] .30-06 Springfield, FMJ, 20 rounds - weight 1 [02:51] * Jonah quickly tosses it into her pack, and gets the fuck out of there. [02:51] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [02:51] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 1486 - Front door: 5945 - Right door: 2542 - Roomstyle: 299 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [02:51] <Jonah> *To the front door~!* [02:54] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/Main inv) 53.41/60 [02:55] <&Hebizuka> [55] *A regular, featureless room, once again. You see a @graffiti etched on the wall. You also spot an accessory on the floor.* [02:56] <Jonah> @graffiti [02:56] <MazeBot> *Someone wrote a @rumor on the wall.* [02:57] <Jonah> @rumor [02:57] <MazeBot> Is your vision bad? Try carrots. [02:57] <Jonah> Ugh, carrots. [02:57] <Jonah> Mmm... Carolyn, any vegetables you like to eat? [02:58] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Not particularly any, why? [03:00] <Jonah> Just curious is all. I can't stand carrots, they're so... /orange./ And unfilling. [03:00] * Jonah sighs as she walks over to the accessory, picking it up to get a better look. [03:00] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Silencer: 5.7x28mm [03:03] * Jonah slides it into her backpack with the rest of them. [03:04] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [03:04] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3259 - Front door: 5596 - Right door: 1334 - Roomstyle: 158 - Enemy strength: 5 /6 [03:04] <Jonah> Front door it is. [03:08] <&Hebizuka> [56] *A regular, featureless room. There is an object on the floor...* [03:09] * Jonah tries to get back into the groove of trap checking. Like /hell/ she's gonna meet Hebizuka again. [03:10] <&Hebizuka> *No traps here!* [03:10] <Jonah> Hooray~ [03:11] * Jonah is SO OVERJOYED by the idea of safety that she suddenly has a need to check out the Silencer she just picked out from the last room. [03:11] <&Hebizuka> *It is compatible with your P90.* [03:11] <&Hebizuka> *Install it?* [03:11] <Jonah> *Yes* [03:12] <&Hebizuka> *Your P90 now has a silencer. Stealth can be maintained even when attacking with this weapon; make sure you have stealth in the first place.* [03:12] <Jonah> Alright. And for the object on the floor... [03:13] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Bipod [03:14] <Jonah> Would this for any of your stuff, Carolyn? [03:14] <Jonah> I already have one in my backpack, so... [03:14] <Jonah> Would this fit* [03:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Got one already on my M16. Why not keep it? More we got, more we sell. [03:17] * Jonah just slips the poles right on in~ [03:18] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/main inv) 54.41/60 [03:18] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [03:18] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2790 - Front door: 5892 - Right door: 4891 - Roomstyle: 209 - Enemy strength: 5 /6 [03:18] <Jonah> Through the front door! [03:23] <&Hebizuka> [57] *You are starting to feel hungry. You get inside another regular, featureless room. There is a shiny on the floor...* [03:26] * Jonah checks the room for traps one last time! [03:26] <&Hebizuka> *None here.* [03:27] * Jonah sighs, gently patting her stomach as she walks over to pick up the shiny. [03:29] <&Hebizuka> [Valuable] Metal - Golden pen - Value 200-850 P$ (1d651 +199) - Weight: 0.1 [03:30] * Jonah whistles. "Shiny. And a matching set with the lighter." [03:30] * Jonah keeps up a bright smile as she slips the pen into her backpack... and takes out some more food. As well as the Brandy. [03:32] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/Main inv) 54.51/60 [03:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Carolyn] Hey now, let's rest a bit before we talk food and drinks, okay? [03:33] <Jonah> Ohh, alright~ [03:33] <Jonah> *Checkout, please!* [03:33] <&Hebizuka> Checkout [03:34] <&Hebizuka> 57 rooms (+11), 4 kills (+1), 0 SEs, 2 Missions (+1), 1 Amulets (+1), 320 P$ (+320) [03:35] <&Hebizuka> Score: 113 pts (+51) [03:35] <&Hebizuka> Position: 4th (+2) [03:35] <&Hebizuka> =Today's combat stats= (Legend: Hits/Attempts) [03:35] <&Hebizuka> Shots fired 4/4 [03:35] <&Hebizuka> Nades and rockets 1/1 [03:35] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 5/5 (100%) [03:35] <&Hebizuka> =All-time combat stats= [03:36] <&Hebizuka> Shots 12/12 (100%) [03:36] <&Hebizuka> Nades/Rockets 1/1 (100%) [03:36] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL 13/13 (100% accuracy) [03:36] <&Hebizuka> =Achievements progress= [03:36] <&Hebizuka> Shotgun +1 [03:36] <&Hebizuka> Soldiers eliminated +1