Log:Session 124 (Meta, no ontology)

From Mazeworld

[16:13] <&Hebizuka> *Welcome back to the Mazes, Jonah! You have visited 370 rooms. Next special room at the 375th. You are currently feeling satiated and mostly healthy. Your allies Carolyn, Raider and Ayako are overall okay, with Carolyn still afflicted with a broken right hand as the worst to note. !mrooms3 to resume.* [16:14] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [16:14] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 229 - Front door: 4034 - Right door: 1140 - Roomstyle: 407 [16:14] <Jonah> Front door. [16:16] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. You spot a can of ammunition on the floor...* [16:18] * Jonah yawns as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes, only just barely noticing the can of goodies on the floor. What's in it? [16:18] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] Bulk can of 7.62x25mm Tokarev, Surp, 1000 rounds - [379/1000] - Weight: 3.79 [16:21] * Jonah picks the can and starts tossing it from side to side, listening to the surplus ammo bounce around on the inside. "More things to sell. Any of you three got room for this?" [16:21] <~Tempest> [Raider] I can pick that up. [16:22] <&Hebizuka> *Raider relieves you of the bulk can, shoving it in his bag.* [16:25] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [16:25] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3316 - Front door: 5765 - Right door: 3663 - Roomstyle: 450 [16:25] <Jonah> Thanks. Front door again. [16:27] <&Hebizuka> *A locker room. You can spot clothing in one of the lockers, the room is otherwise apparently empty.* [16:29] <Jonah> So, honest question - all the locker and shower rooms and stuff; there's no company or group that's responsible for their maintenance other than the engineers, right? [16:29] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Maids and butlers do the cleaning and the usual maintenance, what few there needs. Anything serious happens, engies get called. Why? [16:29] * Jonah takes a skim through the other lockers before checking out the loot, in any case; what do we have here, clothes wise? [16:29] <&Hebizuka> *The other lockers are empty.* [16:30] <Jonah> *And clothes wise?* [16:30] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Bottom - Pimp pants (Lower body, Legs, Crotch) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 3 - [Cond: Ruined] [16:31] * Jonah just raps at the locker that she's pulling clothing out of, before tossing the cumstained pants to the side. "There's absolutely no security here. You can't even buy a simple padlock, as far as I can tell." [16:31] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [16:31] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 892 - Front door: 5424 - Right door: 1060 - Roomstyle: 438 [16:31] <&Hebizuka> *They aren't cumstained, just heavily damaged, like they've been through five or six fires.* [16:32] <Jonah> It's just weird to me, since there's never any security, either. You just have to rely on people not being dicks while you're showering, or change and everything in groups. [16:32] <~Tempest> [Raider] Considering we perform some sort of weird passive teleportation everytime we pass a door behind you, I'd say -being a Contestant- is the hazard to security problems. Normal people usually need to go through the lobby of a residential area. And the lobby guy can refuse entrance to non-residents. [16:33] <~Tempest> [Raider] This society is relying on -YOU- not being a dick to the residents. [16:33] * Jonah stays away from the pants regardless as she heads through the front door, 'cause Heaven knows she can't tell the difference. [16:33] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Does that mean we can do all the wanton shit we wanted if we could get away with it? [16:34] <Jonah> Really? Because I've never seen an actual residential lobby in all my time here. It can't be passive if there's something actively preventing me from seeing this stuff. [16:34] <Jonah> And, Ayako, why is getting away with it a requirement? [16:34] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Let's just say I don't like cops and cops don't like me. [16:35] <Jonah> So If I managed to nab a uniform and a pair of handcuffs for /play,/ that'd be a no go? [16:36] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Depends how you get the uniform and handcuffs. I can help you kill the cop though! No questions asked! [16:36] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Crazy fool. [16:37] <Jonah> We'd have to find a pretty corrupt cop, though. Like, I dunno, a serial rapist. Someone who wouldn't be mourned. [16:38] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Man who cares about that? Half the police force is corrupt. [16:38] <&Hebizuka> *A meeting office. An oval table, several wheeled chairs, in a corporate style. A gun shop has been set up here! You also spot an unclaimed medical item in the corner.* [16:38] <Jonah> Because my hammer of justice gets super hard after a long, tortuous smiting. [16:39] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Is that sexual innuendo again? [16:39] <Jonah> Also, hooray, time to unload all of our guns! [16:39] <Jonah> Carolyn, if you need to ask, the answer is yes. [16:39] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Well shit. I'll never get used to it. [16:39] <Jonah> You'll learn to smile after the first month of engagement, I think. [16:40] <Jonah> That's how it rubbed off of me, after all! [16:40] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Are you really serious about this engagement ring thing?... Geez. You are. [16:40] <~Tempest> [Raider] So how about we offload the extra loot? [16:41] <Jonah> Sounds like a plan. Hey there, gun guyy. You're about to hit jackpot; hope you have enough money for the payout. [16:41] * Jonah finally heads on over to the merchant proper, smiling giddily like a kid in a candy store. [16:42] <~Tempest> [Merch] That shouldn't be a problem. Show me what you've got. [16:43] * Jonah plops down her bag, and takes a big, deep breath: [16:46] <Jonah> Okay, we have the APS machine pistol, its associated magazines in my right leg rig, the random pistol magazine on my belt - 4 rounds of Mauser, 4 rounds of Chey Tac, the muzzle break, and the EOTech reflex sights. [16:47] <Jonah> The AK magazine too, unless Ayako wants that, all the guns in Ayako's bag, the surplus ammo Raider just picked up - and whatever else you three wanna hock. [17:03] <&Hebizuka> (RPK mag, brake, EOTech not found - sold in previous session) [17:07] <&Hebizuka> SELL [17:07] <&Hebizuka> Stechkin APS - 175 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> Stechkin APS 20-rd mag x2 - 35 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> 9x18mm Makarov +P, x55 - 160 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> PM-63 RAK 15-rd mag x1 - 20 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> 9x18mm Makarov AP, x8 - 15 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> .408 Chey Tac, FMJ, x4 - 32 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> DSA SA58 FAL OSW (without magazine) - 585 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> Colt Mk18 mod0 (without magazine) - 600 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> 7.62x25mm Tokarev, Surp, x379 - 47 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 1669 P$ [17:07] <&Hebizuka> *Confirm transaction?* [17:08] <Jonah> *Confirm.* [17:10] <&Hebizuka> *Selling items, please wait!* [17:14] <&Hebizuka> (Oops, forgot the 7.92 Mauser. 4 rounds of that is worth 14 P$ for you, meaning your total money is 1683 P$.) [17:16] <&Hebizuka> *The shop owner desires to know if you want cash or credit.* [17:17] <Jonah> Let's keep it as credit; I'd like to see what you've got in stock, first. [17:18] <&Hebizuka> *Total gun shop credit: 2424 P$.* [17:19] <&Hebizuka> =Gun shop - products for sale= [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Taurus Raging Bull M454 revolver | .454 Casull - Semi-auto | M.Brake(I) | Cylinder, 5 rounds | Weight: 3 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - Kel-Tec KSG shotgun | 12 gauge - Pump-action | Optic[n/a,NATO-S], LRail[n/a] | Internal tubes, (2x7) 14 rounds, +1 | Weight: 14 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - SIG Sauer SG550 Sniper sniper rifle | 5.56x45mm NATO - Semi-auto | Bipod(I), Optic[6x](I) | SG550 20-round mag, +1 | Weight: 30 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - Lucznik Arms PM-63 RAK submachine gun | 9x18mm Makarov - Semi/Full | AutoROF: 5 | Foregrip(I) | PM-63 15-round mag, +1 | Weight: 9 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Walther Gewehr 43(W) rifle | 7.92x57mm Mauser - Semi-auto | Optic[n/a,G43] | G43 10-round mag, +1 | Weight: 26 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - SAKO TRG-42 sniper rifle | .300 Winchester Magnum - Bolt-action | M.Brake(I), Optic[Hunter,7x] | TRG-42 10-round mag, +1 | Weight: 26 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Mateba MTR-8 revolver | .38 Special - Semi-auto | No accessory | MTR-8 8-round clip, no +1 | Weight: 5 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - IZHMASH Kalashnikov AK-12 (308) battle rifle | 7.62x51mm NATO - Semi/Burst3/Full | AutoROF: 5 | Thread(Std), Optic[n/a,NATO] | AK-12(308) 20-round mag, +1 | Weight: 18 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - IMI Desert Eagle Mk VII pistol | .44 Magnum - Semi-auto | Optic[n/a,NATO-S] | Deagle .44 8-round mag, +1 | Weight: 5 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 2 - FN Herstal P90 personal defense weapon | 5.7x28mm - Semi/Full | AutoROF: 8 | Optic[RFX], LRail[n/a] | P90 50-round mag, +1 | Weight: 9 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Winchester Model 1895 rifle | .303 British - Lever-action | No accessory | Internal magazine, 5 rounds, no +1 | Weight: 22 [17:19] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Ishapore 2A1 rifle | 7.62x51mm NATO - Bolt-action | No accessory | Internal magazine, 12 rounds, no +1 | Weight: 26 [17:20] <~Tempest> [Raider] Would you look at that... [17:20] <Jonah> Anything catch your eye, Carolyn, Ayako? [17:20] <Jonah> Oh - Raider, you got something in mind? [17:21] <~Tempest> [Raider] This AK-12 looks really neat. I didn't know they made these in that caliber. I don't want it though, I'd like to buy some 7.62 NATO ammo instead. [17:21] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Hey! A SG550 for sale! That means he has magazines I need! I want mags and ammo too! [17:22] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Hey, there's even a P90. Means I can buy ammo and mags for myself too. [17:22] <&Hebizuka> *Your allies are pretty happy to find exactly what they need.* [17:24] <Jonah> And shotguns shells for me. Sounds like a good time; what kinda ammo do you have? [17:25] <~Tempest> [Merch] In 12 gauge? Lemme look. [17:26] <&Hebizuka> *Available 12 gauge ammunition: Tactical buckshot (4 boxes), Rubber baton (2 boxes), Slug (1 box)* [17:28] <Jonah> Alrighty. You guys buy whatever you need first, I'll foot the bill then worry about my ammo later. [17:29] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako chooses first.* [17:30] <&Hebizuka> *There are 2 boxes of 5.56 NATO left for sale - One box of Surp, and one box of cold HP ammunition. In addition, the dealer has 5 magazines compatible with the SG550 ; four 20-rounders and one 30-rounder. Ayako wants to buy the 30-rounder and the box of C-HP.* [17:30] <&Hebizuka> *Raider browses the catalog.* [17:31] <&Hebizuka> *There are 6 boxes of 7.62 NATO, all of them FMJ. Raider orders three.* [17:31] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn browses the gear for sale.* [17:32] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Damn shame there's no .357 Magnum. [17:33] <&Hebizuka> *The shrine maiden sees three P90 magazines for sale, and no less than 10 boxes of 5.7x28mm! 7 are FMJ, 2 are surplus, and one is full of the tremendous SAP ammunition type. Carolyn wants two extra P90 mags, 2 boxes of FMJ and the box of SAP.* [17:34] <&Hebizuka> *Calculating costs of purchases.* [17:35] <&Hebizuka> BUY [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Ayako) SG550 30-round mag - 125 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Ayako) 5.56x45mm NATO, C-HP, x20 - 100 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Raider) 7.62x51mm NATO, FMJ, x60 - 240 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) P90 50-round magazine, x2 - 200 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) 5.7x28mm, FMJ, x100 - 300 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) 5.7x28mm, SAP, x50 - 650 P$ [17:35] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL due to shop: 1615 P$ [17:35] <Jonah> Oh, good - there is some left over for me. [17:35] <~Tempest> [Raider] Permission to speak freely. [17:36] <Jonah> Ah - Add the two boxes of - oh? Sure. [17:36] <~Tempest> [Raide] I want to fuck shit up when we're done shopping. [17:36] <~Tempest> (Raider*) [17:36] <~Tempest> [Ayako] I was thinking the same thing! [17:36] <Jonah> You don't need to ask permission next time, by the way. [17:36] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] As surprising as it may sound, I kind of want to kick butt with our new gear, too. [17:37] <Jonah> You're all crazy, but fine. So long as you guys agree not to go crazy and start shooting up some activists or cops or whatever. [17:37] <Jonah> Oh, and shopkeep - add those two boxes of rubber baton, and the box of slugs, too. [17:38] <~Tempest> [Merch] Sure, lemme add it up to the tally... [17:43] <&Hebizuka> BUY [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Ayako) SG550 30-round mag - 125 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Ayako) 5.56x45mm NATO, C-HP, x20 - 100 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Raider) 7.62x51mm NATO, FMJ, x60 - 240 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) P90 50-round magazine, x2 - 200 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) 5.7x28mm, FMJ, x100 - 300 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Carolyn) 5.7x28mm, SAP, x50 - 650 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Jonah) 12 gauge slug, x10 - 20 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> (Jonah) 12 gauge rubber baton, x20 - 40 P$ [17:43] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL due to shop: 1675 P$ [17:44] <&Hebizuka> *Confirm purchases?* [17:44] <Jonah> *Confirm* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *Gun shop credit remaining: 749 P$* [17:45] <&Hebizuka> *Processing your purchases...* [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *Here are the items you purchased:* [17:46] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] Box of 12 gauge, less-lethal rubber baton, 10 rounds - [10/10] - Weight: 0.5 [17:46] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] Box of 12 gauge, less-lethal rubber baton, 10 rounds - [10/10] - Weight: 0.5 [17:46] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] Box of 12 gauge, slug, 10 rounds - [10/10] - Weight: 0.5 [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *Where do you want to place the shells?* [17:46] <Jonah> *Backpack. They're for an offering, in any case.* [17:49] <&Hebizuka> *Raider simply dumps his purchases into his vest/main space.* [17:49] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako grabs her extra mag, fills it up with her new C-HP ammo and shoves that in Vest/Mags.* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn sits down and fills up her two new mags, one with 50rds of FMJ, the other with her 50rds of SAP, while dumping her extra 50rds of 5.7x28 FMJ into her backpack.* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *You spared your purchased shells in Pack/Main.* [17:50] <&Hebizuka> *Hold on...* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Total 12 gauge slugs in backpack: 50* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *Total 12 gauge rubber baton in backpack: 20* [17:51] <&Hebizuka> *You are over capacity for your backpack. [60.38/60] - you must remove items before continuing.* [17:53] <Jonah> *20 slugs in my left rig should do it.* [17:53] <&Hebizuka> [Leg rig/Left] 4/4 [17:53] <&Hebizuka> [Pack/Main] 59.38/60 [17:53] <&Hebizuka> *You must wait 32 turns for Ayako and Carolyn to finish loading up.* [17:54] <&Hebizuka> *During that time, you feel your strength lowers back to normal levels.* [17:55] <~Tempest> [Merch] Thanks for shopping at William's Gun Emporium! Will that be everything? [17:56] <Jonah> Yeah, sounds about right. Although - mind if I get the rest of my credit in cash? [17:56] * Jonah also takes a look at those medical supplies while she waits. [17:56] <~Tempest> [Merch] Not at all, here you go. [17:57] <&Hebizuka> [Meds] Field Surgery Kit (FSK) - Strong limb healing. Also contains: 4x IB, 1x HAP, 4x Paracetamol, 1x Epinephrine, 1x Antivenom, 1x HXCB - Weight: 2 [17:57] <&Hebizuka> *All of your gun shop credit was converted into cash.* [17:57] <&Hebizuka> [Money] 749 P$ [17:58] <Jonah> Hey, Carolyn - can you carry the kit and the rest of the cash? [17:58] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Oh, sure, yeah, I can do that. [17:59] <&Hebizuka> *Your ally shoves the FSK in her Vest/Main, and takes the cash into her money pouch.* [17:59] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [17:59] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 577 - Front door: 5475 - Right door: 1739 - Roomstyle: 495 [17:59] <Jonah> Front door when everyone's ready. [17:59] <~Tempest> [Raider] Let's rock. [18:01] <&Hebizuka> *You go up a flight of stairs, and into a scratched room, full of @graffiti. There is only one door ahead (!mrooms1). You spot an item on the floor... which may be a funny find.* [18:01] <Jonah> @graffiti [18:01] <MazeBot> *Someone wrote a @rumor on the wall.* [18:01] <Jonah> @rumor [18:01] <MazeBot> Is your vision bad? Try carrots. [18:01] <Jonah> Broccoli's a better choice. And what do we have here? [18:02] <&Hebizuka> [Key item] Handcuffs [18:03] <Jonah> Heeey, Ayako~ [18:03] * Jonah nabs that ASAP. [18:03] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Sweet! No need to do cop hunting! [18:03] <Jonah> !mrooms1 [18:03] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 243 - Roomstyle: 113 [18:04] <Jonah> We'll play around with this as soon as we find a bed. Let's get goin' for now. [18:05] <&Hebizuka> *You've reached again Lance's bionics workshop.* [18:06] <Jonah> Noooooot that bed. [18:06] <Jonah> Although... hey, Carolyn. You're not fond of the SIE aug in my head, right? [18:06] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Please, keep it if you think it's useful! Just don't use it on me. [18:07] <Jonah> Mmm. Okay, I won't. [18:07] <Jonah> Hey, Lance - I'd like to swap out the SIE for something a little more visceral. [18:07] <Jonah> That #19 aug looked pretty fun. [18:07] <~Tempest> [Lance] Jonah, my good friend! It is great to see you. Why, please look at my catalog and tell me what would suit you. Was the SIE fun to use, at least? [18:08] <Jonah> It was. But the future Mrs. there gets nervous, and I want to reassure her that nothing's effecting her judgement when I do something special. [18:09] <Jonah> The things you do for love, right? [18:11] <~Tempest> [Lance] Very well, my friend. And I would not know much about that. All my love is devoted to my GLORIOUS job. [18:13] <Jonah> Never had to compromise for your job? That's quite lucky. [18:13] <~Tempest> [Lance] In any case, please disrobe and lie down on my operating table. I understand that you wish to replace your SIE with a Combat Sensorial Enhancement? [18:13] <Jonah> Mhmm. How much will it cost me? [18:13] <~Tempest> [Lance] Let's see. I shall refund you 825 P$ for the removal of the SIE. The CSE costs 2750 P$ and will use 10 more Power Pool units... though that should not be a problem, you have enough to cover that right now. I require 1925 P$ for that service. [18:13] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Need me to plop the cash I'm carrying for you? [18:13] <Jonah> Please do. [18:13] * Jonah plops down whatever rest is necessary. [18:13] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn drops 749 P$.* [18:14] <&Hebizuka> *You currently carry 624 P$, which is not enough to cover the rest; an extra 552 P$ is required.* [18:15] <Jonah> Phone call to the bank it is. [18:15] <&Hebizuka> *Warning: this is the last unit of your battery. Confirm the phone call?* [18:16] <Jonah> *Yes. I'm flipping it out, punching in the number, and transferring 552 P$ from my account to Lance's credit.* [18:16] <&Hebizuka> *You have moved 552 P$ from your bank account to Bionics Workshop credit. 480 P$ remaining in bank account.* [18:17] <&Hebizuka> *Done with transactions over the phone?* [18:19] <Jonah> *Yes.* [18:19] <&Hebizuka> *Your phone battery promptly dies afterwards.* [18:19] <~Tempest> [Lance] Yes... I have received the transaction. With this and the cash, I can cover the costs of the new operation. Ready to proceed when you are, my friend. [18:21] <Jonah> *One last SIE for the road - how's Carolyn feeling about this?* [18:21] <&Hebizuka> [SIE] Subject: Carolyn Knight || Morale: Good (unchanged) [18:21] * Jonah disrobes, takes a deep breath - and tosses a wink to both her girls before she goes under. [18:22] <&Hebizuka> *Lance prepares the surgical gloves, his tools, and the new bionic implant. The operation begins, you are injected with a horseload of anaesthesiants, which promptly put you to sleep.* [18:23] <&Hebizuka> [SIE] Shutting down. Goodbye! [18:24] <&Hebizuka> *The Social Interaction Enhancer is disabled and extracted from your brain.* [18:26] <&Hebizuka> *Lance replaces it with the bulkier Combat Sensorial Enhancement. Even while still asleep, as soon as it comes online, you feel a sharp sensation, as if lightning struck your very senses and -visibly- increased your reaction time.* [18:26] <&Hebizuka> *An unspecified amount of time later, you wake up. The combination of increased alertness and increased reaction time makes you feel very jumpy. You feel like you can shoot faster than your own shadow!* [18:28] <~Tempest> [Lance] Welcome back, Jonah. With the CSE, you will be an unbeatable combat machine! An opponent with the same weapons as you will always lose thanks to your speed and reaction time advantages. You shall be the TERMINATOR of ALL that stands against you! [18:28] * Jonah stretches a bit, before tuning out Lance's typical speeches and getting dressed. It's only once she's fully dressed that she looks Carolyn in the eye. [18:28] <~Tempest> *The bionics engineer refrains from performing an evil cackle, but he looks about as excited.* [18:29] <Jonah> Carolyn Knight? [18:29] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Uh, yes? Why are you so formal, Jonah? [18:29] <~Tempest> [Raider] Oh boy. [18:29] <Jonah> I love you. [18:29] <Jonah> These are my true feelings,s tripped bare of any and all lies. [18:30] <Jonah> So, whatever you feel; that, I hope, is honest too. [18:30] <~Tempest> *The shrine maiden doesn't reply. She just blushes deep red, unsure how to answer. Raider looks nonchalant, and Ayako goes 'Aww!'.* [18:30] <Jonah> You don't - we don't have to do anything about it, if your faith and calling is more important. [18:30] <Jonah> But... after being together for so long, you - you /must/ feel some sort of obligation towards me. [18:30] <Jonah> So... I'd like to hear your reply. [18:31] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Well... I'm very happy you feel that way, that's for sure, even if your silly antics get on my nerves sometimes... I stuck with you anyway, so... Maybe you're doing something right? [18:31] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] I'm just unsure what to say at all. I just feel... very happy? [18:31] * Jonah starts beaming like the sun, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face as heart continues to pound in her chest. [18:32] <Jonah> Once upon a time, you asked me to ask for permission first; so - may I kiss you? [18:32] <~Tempest> [Raider] I feel like the Mazes will collapse any minute. [18:32] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Don't tempt fate! [18:32] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] *Sigh, smile.* Just this once. [18:33] <~Tempest> *Lance looks like he's about to tear up. He mutters something about the advancement of humanity through love and utter, shit-tearing bionic power.* [18:36] * Jonah takes Carolyn into her hands, and it's impossible to hide the sheer, child-like wonder dancing through the paladin's body. She ends up cradling the miko, holding her so gently it was as if she was afraid Carolyn would shatter in her hands. [18:36] * Jonah kisses her love simply and cleanly, letting the electricity dance through two pairs of soft lips. [18:36] <Jonah> !mrooms1 [18:36] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 1526 - Roomstyle: 472 [18:37] * Jonah then pulls Carolyn up into a brides carry, and refuses to stop. [18:37] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [18:37] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 6070 - Front door: 6618 - Right door: 755 - Roomstyle: 277 [18:37] <&Hebizuka> *An imaginary romantic jingle plays in the background.* [18:37] <Jonah> *As they head through the front door. [18:37] <&Hebizuka> *Roll a 2d6.* [18:38] <Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:38] <MazeBot> Jonah: 8 [18:38] <&Hebizuka> *You succeed at bridal carrying Carolyn... along with her (rather heavy) gear... for about five seconds. Then Carolyn insists on getting back on her feet, because she reminds you that you have no strength augs. [18:39] <&Hebizuka> *Raider rolls his eyes. You swear you saw him smirk for a half-second.* [18:40] <&Hebizuka> *Next special room at the 385th.* [18:40] * Jonah harrumphs, but her heart isn't in it. She doesn't let go of Carolyn's lower body, though - even as she puts the shrine maiden down. [18:40] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Let go of my butt. [18:41] * Jonah can't resist one last grope, but she does eventually comply. [18:41] <Jonah> Sorry - I really can't help it. My heart's just pounding like crazy. [18:41] <&Hebizuka> *Another meeting office. The room appears to be completely empty.* [18:42] * Jonah skims through the desks before getting ready to head out. [18:42] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [18:42] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 5019 - Front door: 5808 - Right door: 1081 - Roomstyle: 318 [18:42] <&Hebizuka> *There is nothing to loot here.* [18:42] <Jonah> Front door. [18:44] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. A pack of gorillas are lurking about in the room. There are three of them. You see they're fighting over a shiny object, which appears to be a piece of armor.* [18:44] <Jonah> You guys wanted to fuck shit up, right? [18:44] <Jonah> @cover [18:44] <MazeBot> A wooden crate with metal covers. (Health: 59, LDV modifier: -2. AC Eqv: Kevlar-2. Pass-through threshold: 8+ dmg. Pain modifier: x0.75) [18:45] <Jonah> Let's fuck shit up. [18:45] <&Hebizuka> *All of your allies will attempt taking cover. Roll for cover.* [18:46] <Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:46] <MazeBot> Jonah: 11 [18:46] <&Hebizuka> @roll 3#2d6 [18:46] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 11;5;8 [18:47] <&Hebizuka> *Everyone excepts Raider succeeds. This means the gorillas spotted you.* [18:50] <&Hebizuka> *The gorillas turn. They growl and wail and make a show to show how big and scary they are.* [18:51] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #1 will rush towards Raider to try and punch him.* [18:51] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2 will try to bite Carolyn.* [18:51] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2 will try to punch you.* [18:51] <&Hebizuka> (#3 on that last one) [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *Order this turn: Gorilla1, Gorilla3, Gorilla2. #1's turn...* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [18:52] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Torso (Chest, back) [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [18:52] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 3 [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *Raider nimbly avoids the primate's fist.* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *#3's turn...* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [18:52] <MazeBot> [EXTREMITY] Right foot [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [18:52] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 3 [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *The gorilla slams a fist on the floor, but fails to hit your foot.* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> *#2's turn...* [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [18:52] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Torso (Chest, back) [18:52] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [18:52] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 2 [18:53] <&Hebizuka> *Not only does the gorilla fail to bite the shrine maiden, she counters and clunks his face with the stock of her P90, causing him some damage.* [18:54] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Back off, you fucking monkey! [18:54] <Jonah> You don't like it when I get frisky, but you'd fuck monkeys? Ayako, new plan! [18:55] <&Hebizuka> *End of Turn 1.* [18:55] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 2. Next move?* [18:55] <Jonah> *Protecta, 3 shots, Gorilla 1's head.* [18:57] <~Tempest> [Ayako] What's the plan? [18:57] <Jonah> Transform into a monkey, seduce Carolyn with bestiality threesomes. [18:58] <~Tempest> [Ayako] You crazy mate? I can't control what I turn into! [18:58] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn will draw her P90 on Gorilla #2 and dump a dozen of shots into its center mass.* [18:58] <&Hebizuka> *Raider draws his M9 and goes for 5 shots onto #3's head.* [18:58] <Jonah> That's why we just roll the dice until it happens! Maybe you'll transform into something else she likes! [18:59] <~Tempest> [Ayako] I swear to the gods if I turn into a chicken... [18:59] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako will attempt transforming.* [19:01] <Jonah> I MEANT AFTERWARDS. [19:01] <&Hebizuka> *Too late, she will!* [19:02] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #1 will attempt biting you.* [19:02] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2 will try to punch you.* [19:03] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #3 will try punching Raider, again.* [19:04] <&Hebizuka> *Order this turn: Ayako, G#3, G#2, Raider, G#1, Carolyn, You.* [19:05] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako is transforming!...* [19:07] <&Hebizuka> *...Ayako has turned into a Soldier Zombie.* [19:07] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Uuuuuuhh. *Snarl* [19:08] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #3's turn...* [19:08] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [19:08] <MazeBot> [LOWER BODY] Lower body (Hips, pelvis, buttocks) [19:08] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [19:08] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 10 [19:08] <&Hebizuka> *Raider receives a punch in the hip.* [19:09] <&Hebizuka> *He yelps in pain; that hurt a fair bit, because armor doesn't cover that body part!* [19:09] <&Hebizuka> *Thankfully it appears all the damage it did was superficial.* [19:12] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2's turn...* [19:13] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [19:13] <MazeBot> [LOWER BODY] Lower body (Hips, pelvis, buttocks) [19:13] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [19:13] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 6 [19:13] <&Hebizuka> *It looked like you were also about to receive a punch to the hip, but he misses.* [19:13] <&Hebizuka> *Raider's turn...* [19:14] <&Hebizuka> @roll 5#2d6 [19:14] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 8;10;7;2;5 [19:14] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d100 Malf check [19:14] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, Malf check: 10 [19:14] <&Hebizuka> *No malfunctions this turn.* [19:14] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-5: 2 hits, 3 misses.* [19:15] <&Hebizuka> *Raider double-taps and obliterates the gorilla's skull with ease.* [19:15] <&Hebizuka> Raider [Beretta M9] Gorilla /H\ [19:16] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #1's turn...* [19:16] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [19:16] <MazeBot> [LIMB] Left leg [19:16] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [19:16] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 9 [19:16] <&Hebizuka> *The first of the primates successfully bites you in the left leg.* [19:18] <&Hebizuka> *Your leg is protected by Twaron leg pads. They cushion a little bit from the Pain you sustain. The bite is however sufficiently strong for you to sustain an injury. Your left leg is wounded and you're starting to bleed.* [19:20] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn's turn...* [19:20] <&Hebizuka> @roll 12#2d6 [19:20] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 7;4;7;7;4;7;3;6;7;8;12;11 [19:20] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d100 Malf check [19:20] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, Malf check: 16 [19:20] <&Hebizuka> *No malfunctions this turn.* [19:21] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn successfully fires 12 shots, despite her P90 being dirty and the silencer making things quite worse. [19:22] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-8: 8 misses.* [19:23] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 9-12: 2 hits (including 1 critical hit), 2 misses.* [19:24] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2 is hit by only two of the 12 shots fired - the last two, at that. However, it seems the shrine maiden got lucky - one of the shots must've caused extra damage because Gorilla #2 has been stunned.* [19:26] <&Hebizuka> *#2 is hurt and bleeding, as well as stunned, but is still alive.* [19:26] <&Hebizuka> *Your turn. You may roll now.* [19:27] <Jonah> @roll 3#2d6 [19:27] <MazeBot> Jonah: 4;6;2 [19:27] <&Hebizuka> @roll 1d100 malf check [19:27] <MazeBot> Hebizuka, malf check: 87 [19:27] <&Hebizuka> *No malfunctions this turn.* [19:28] <&Hebizuka> *All scores -1 due to aiming at the head.* [19:28] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-3: Miss, Hit (2 pel), Miss.* [19:28] <&Hebizuka> *Total: 1/3 hits, 2 pellets hit total* [19:30] <&Hebizuka> *The two pellets that do hit are sufficiently damaging to knock the gorilla out of commission. He seems to have blacked out rather than died outright but he at least won't cause problems for a while.* [19:31] <&Hebizuka> *End of Turn 2!* [19:31] <&Hebizuka> *You are bleeding. [19:32] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako snarls and gargles.* [19:32] <&Hebizuka> *Both surviving gorillas are bleeding.* [19:32] <&Hebizuka> *Turn 3. What is your next move?* [19:33] <Jonah> *One shot, last awake gorilla's head, Protecta* [19:34] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn curses and insults the gorilla's mother. She does not attack, however.* [19:35] <&Hebizuka> *Raider pulls the trigger as many times as he can into Gorilla #2's center mass. (10 shots)* [19:35] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako snarls and goes to finish the passed-out gorilla off with her Mark 23 ; despite her shambling undead nature, she can still use guns. She fires two shots into #1's skull ; the last two in her gun.* [19:36] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #1 is incapable of moving.* [19:36] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla #2 will attempt biting Ayako.* [19:37] <&Hebizuka> *Order this turn: G#2, Raider, You.* [19:37] <&Hebizuka> *Gorilla's turn... [19:37] <&Hebizuka> @bodyaim [19:37] <MazeBot> [UPPER BODY] Upper body (Stomach, guts, lower back) [19:37] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2d6 [19:37] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 7 [19:37] <&Hebizuka> *The gorilla successfully takes a bite out of Ayako's undead chest.* [19:38] <&Hebizuka> *It failed to do damage.* [19:38] <&Hebizuka> (Er, oops, order this turn should add Ayako in between Raider and You.) [19:38] <&Hebizuka> *Raider's turn.* [19:38] <&Hebizuka> @roll 10#2d6 [19:38] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 7;5;6;7;9;7;7;5;9;11 [19:39] <&Hebizuka> *Raider's M9 locks empty ; it ran out of ammunition.* [19:40] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-10: 7 hits, 3 misses* [19:41] <&Hebizuka> *The gorilla's upper body is peppered with 9mm shots, each one blowing open a new bleeding hole.* [19:41] <&Hebizuka> *The pain is too much to bear for the primate, and he keels over.* [19:41] <&Hebizuka> Raider [Beretta M9] Gorilla [19:41] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako's turn...* [19:41] <&Hebizuka> @roll 2#2d6 [19:41] <MazeBot> Hebizuka: 4;9 [19:42] <&Hebizuka> *Shots 1-2: 1 hit, 1 miss* [19:42] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako's Mk23 also locks empty ; it's dry!* [19:42] <&Hebizuka> *One .45 slug punched through the primate's head...* [19:43] <&Hebizuka> Ayako [H&K MARK 23] Gorilla /H\ [19:43] <&Hebizuka> *End of fight! (3 turns)* [19:44] <Jonah> Well. That was actually pretty cool. [19:44] <&Hebizuka> *Your turn was cancelled - your opponent died before you could attack.* [19:44] * Jonah takes out the Penetrator to finish off the third gorilla before it can get up again. [19:44] <&Hebizuka> *All three are dead. You're beating up dead bodies.* [19:44] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako takes a turn to detransform. She returns to her usual youkai self.* [19:45] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Braaains. I mean, uh. Hooray! We win! [19:45] <Jonah> So what's it like being dead? [19:45] <~Tempest> [Ayako] It's fucking shit. I felt mindless! [19:45] <Jonah> So, like the golem? Or worse? [19:46] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Worse. But maybe you should bandage yourself... [19:46] * Jonah takes off the leg pads to apply a bandage as needed. Raider can walk off his hip-pop, so. [19:46] <Jonah> Yeah yeah. Didn't feel a thing, really. [19:46] <Jonah> So, what exactly were they fighting over? [19:46] <&Hebizuka> *Take bandage from backpack or from vest?* [19:47] <Jonah> *Bandage.* [19:47] <&Hebizuka> *From pack or vest?* [19:47] <Jonah> Pack.* [19:47] <&Hebizuka> *You take an additional turn to retrieve an IB from the backpack, before applying it to your wounded leg. You no longer bleed.* [19:48] * Jonah also takes some buck shells out of her backpack to slot into the Protecta, while she's at it. [19:48] <&Hebizuka> *Refill to full?* [19:48] <Jonah> *Yes.* [19:48] <&Hebizuka> *You insert 3 fresh shells into your weapon, which takes one turn.* [19:48] <Jonah> You guys should reload while you can. Carolyn, can you check out what they were fighting over? [19:51] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Legs addon - Medieval armor leggings - AC Kevlar-2 - Blunt-PROOF, Sharp-PROOF, Piercing-resistant - Half melee damage - Weight: 14 - [Cond: Damaged] [19:51] <Jonah> Oh my god. [19:51] <Jonah> It's like being at home. [19:52] <Jonah> Hey, you guys want the stuff I'm wearing now? I want to rock my old duds. [19:57] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Sure, I can wear these. [19:57] <&Hebizuka> *Carolyn offers to wear your Twaron leg pads.* [19:58] * Jonah tosses them at her, and giddly straps the medieval leggings nice and tight. [19:58] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [19:58] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 4160 - Front door: 4223 - Right door: 2711 - Roomstyle: 582 [19:59] <Jonah> A bit beat up, but still nice and heavy. This is real armor, none of that thin metal plate crud. [19:59] <Jonah> Guys, did you reload yet? [19:59] <&Hebizuka> *You have the impression the leggings are in better condition when on your body. The condition now appears to simply be worn.* [20:00] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] I'm good. Raider and Ayako need to reload though. [20:00] <&Hebizuka> *Raider sits down to drop his backpack, and refills his M9 magazine to full capacity. (5 turns)* [20:00] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako asks you if you can pass her all of your .45 ACP.* [20:01] <&Hebizuka> *And fresh USP-45 magazines, while you're at it ; she reminds you that you are carrying that for her.* [20:04] * Jonah tosses her everything she needs. [20:04] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Thanks, mate! [20:05] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako plops the magazines and ammunition in her vest.* [20:05] <&Hebizuka> [Pack/Main] 56.37/60 [20:05] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako then proceeds to grab 12 rounds and refill the magazine for her Mk23. (4 turns)* [20:05] <&Hebizuka> *All you have to do is wait 5 turns for everyone to finish.* [20:06] <&Hebizuka> *Raider moves 100 rounds of 9mm FMJ from his pack to his vest.* [20:07] <&Hebizuka> *He also moves a bottle of mineral water from his vest to his pack.* [20:07] <&Hebizuka> *5 turns pass...* [20:08] <&Hebizuka> *Everyone is ready.* [20:08] <&Hebizuka> *Which door do you want to exit through?* [20:09] <Jonah> Front door as usual. [20:10] <~Tempest> [Ayako] We're the fuckin' best! [20:11] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. There is an item on the floor...* [20:12] <Jonah> What's on the floor here? [20:12] <Jonah> !mroom3 [20:12] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [20:12] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2872 - Front door: 6658 - Right door: 1773 - Roomstyle: 402 [20:59] <&Hebizuka> *Here is the item on the floor.* [20:59] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Bayonet: QBZ - Sharp/Piercing, Knife-bayonet. - Weight: 3 [21:00] <Jonah> ...Anybody want a knife? [21:00] <Jonah> I'm not gonna bother with it, that's for sure. [21:01] <&Hebizuka> *Nobody seems to want the QBZ bayo.* [21:02] <Jonah> Front door it is. [21:06] <&Hebizuka> *Another regular, featureless room. You spot some abandoned cash on the floor!* [21:09] * Jonah swipes up the cash, tosses it in her bag, and continues on. [21:09] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:09] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 1738 - Front door: 4800 - Right door: 5057 - Roomstyle: 554 [21:09] <&Hebizuka> [Money] 367 P$ [21:09] <Jonah> This pace isn't too bad - straight line as always. [21:09] <&Hebizuka> *Total cash carried: 367 P$* [21:11] <&Hebizuka> *An office. Four desks, each one with a computer, and searchable desks for potential stuff. There is a piece of clothing on the seat in front of PC #3.* [21:12] * Jonah takes a glance at the clothing. [21:12] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:12] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 5736 - Front door: 3524 - Right door: 5920 - Roomstyle: 390 [21:12] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Top - Top piece of bikini (Torso) - AC Light - Blunt-resistant - Weight: 1 - [Cond: Good] [21:12] <Jonah> Ayako, /are/ there any bikinis that fit youkai? Because you'd look gorgeous in one. [21:13] * Jonah heads through the front door. [21:13] <~Tempest> [Ayako] I guess? I never did try. Human clothing ain't my style. [21:14] <&Hebizuka> *A grassy, but otherwise featureless room. There is a weapon planted into the ground here...* [21:15] <Jonah> Planted? That's odd - what is it, exactly? [21:15] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:15] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2117 - Front door: 136 - Right door: 337 - Roomstyle: 277 [21:16] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 5 Short: KA-BAR knife - Sharp/Piercing - Butchering. Weight: 3 [21:16] <Jonah> If any of you want it, go for it. They seriously need to make something longer and heftier. [21:16] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako removes it from the ground, wipes the dirt from the blade, and equips it for herself.* [21:16] * Jonah heads through the front door, as always. [21:16] <&Hebizuka> *The final mad dash continues...* [21:17] <&Hebizuka> *Yet another meeting office. There is a shiny on the long oval table here...* [21:18] <Jonah> And it issssss? [21:18] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:18] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 1000 - Front door: 5941 - Right door: 4191 - Roomstyle: 458 [21:18] <&Hebizuka> [Valuable] Yellow gem - Unidentified - Weight: 0.1 [21:18] <Jonah> Yoink, vest, go go go to the front door. [21:19] <&Hebizuka> [Vest/Main] 5.95/7 [21:20] <&Hebizuka> *A shooting range. Several shooting lanes are present. Nobody in sight, just some food on the reloading benches.* [21:20] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Fruit - Grapes. 103kcal [21:21] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:21] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 722 - Front door: 2105 - Right door: 6970 - Roomstyle: 53 [21:21] * Jonah continues running through the maze's front doors like a woman possessed. Where's all this agency coming from? [21:22] <&Hebizuka> *You and your party are running like the end of the world is following behind you!* [21:23] <&Hebizuka> *You barge into an outside area! Daytime plains. There is a domestic pig sniffing the floor peacefully here, minding its own business. You also notice an abandoned trauma plate on the ground...* [21:23] <&Hebizuka> [Clothing] Trauma plate - Titanium/Steel - Health: 50 HP / Pass-through threshold: 9+ dmg / Pain reduction: 0.15x - Weight: 3 [21:23] <Jonah> No shits are given. Have fun, pig! [21:23] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:23] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 6622 - Front door: 3382 - Right door: 2297 - Roomstyle: 221 [21:23] <Jonah> Door door front door gooooo [21:23] <&Hebizuka> *The pig squeals to let you pass.* [21:24] <&Hebizuka> (Oh, sorry, only one door here.) [21:24] <Jonah> !mrooms1 [21:24] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 1062 - Roomstyle: 553 [21:24] <&Hebizuka> *A hub room. On the left, a teleporting keypad. On the right, a weapon shop. Where to?* [21:26] <Jonah> Left room. I have an idea. [21:26] <&Hebizuka> *You enter a teleporting keypad room.* [21:26] * Jonah punches in Carolyn's old room number. 5454. The gods love their bookends. [21:27] <&Hebizuka> *Your party is teleported towards Room 5454...* [21:28] <&Hebizuka> *You reappear inside a regular, featureless room. The shrine that was once there seems to have been removed from existence. There is an object in the middle of the room..* [21:28] <Jonah> Just like last time. Nuts - is it another jewel, at least? [21:28] <Jonah> !mrooms3 [21:28] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 6916 - Front door: 5165 - Right door: 1930 - Roomstyle: 365 [21:29] <&Hebizuka> *In a fit of completely symbolic dumb luck (Gotta love that 0.009% chance)...* [21:29] <&Hebizuka> [Amulet] You have found the Amulet of the West! [21:30] <Jonah> Carolyn? [21:30] <Jonah> Is this enough to say the Gods approve? [21:30] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Will you take me home with you? [21:30] <Jonah> Yes. Yes yes, /absolutely/ yes. [21:31] * Jonah doesn't ask for permission when she starts peppering Carolyn with kisses. [21:31] <~Tempest> [Raider] Hey, hey, hold on. [21:31] <~Tempest> [Raider] That's it? It's the end of the line for you guys? [21:32] <Jonah> Yup. I am leaving this shithole and going back home. I'll do weal the implants and junk when I get there. [21:32] <Jonah> Ayako, you're free to come. It'll be lonely without you. [21:33] <Jonah> Raider - I uh, I don't have enough cash to keep you on retainer forever. [21:33] <Jonah> But you can come too, if you'd like. You would not believe the size of my mansion. Fresh outdoors, no one coming to kill you. [21:33] <~Tempest> [Raider] Well... It's really a first for me, but I'm going to miss being under your employment. It was a honor working for the craziest contract I've ever had in my whole life. [21:33] <Jonah> It's /great./ [21:33] <~Tempest> [Raider] I'm sorry Jonah. I can't come. [21:33] <Jonah> Hey, no worries. You gotta help the next crazy fucker with more money than sense. Oh, before we go - you still got a phone charge? [21:34] <~Tempest> [Raider] There needs to be someone back there to tell all about you in every bar of the Mazes after all. I'm going to retire. [21:34] <~Tempest> [Raider] After -that-, this job will never be the same anymore for me. [21:34] <~Tempest> *Raider hands you his phone battery, swapping your dead one for his.* [21:34] <Jonah> You've certainly earned a nice pension after bleeding me out to dry. [21:34] * Jonah dials her bank. [21:34] <~Tempest> [Raider] Here. Won't need this anymore. Use it for whatever you need. [21:35] <&Hebizuka> *You have reached the online banking services.* [21:36] <Jonah> Hiyo. This is Jonah, and I'd like to transfer all my credit and cash to Jackie Mueller's account. [21:36] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] You will be left with 0 P$ of funds in every of your accounts. Are you sure? [21:36] <Jonah> Yup yup. Fucker's earned a retirement bonus. [21:36] <~Tempest> [Raider] Please, you don't need to do this. I've made 5k with your contracts alone. [21:37] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] Transferring funds... [21:37] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] Transfer complete. Wired 3339 P$ to Jackie Muller's account. [21:37] <Jonah> Well, you're about to earn 5k plus a generous tip. But I do need one last thing. As a favor, between friends? Or at least, between a merc and the funnest, most interesting client he's ever had? [21:38] <~Tempest> [Raider] Nearly 8300 bucks... Gods damn. [21:38] <~Tempest> [Raider] I'm listening. What do you need? [21:39] * Jonah unholsters the Armsel Protecta, before taking her backpack off and taking out all of its ammo - and the shells in her vest and rigs, as well. [21:39] <Jonah> So, you said you don't need the phone anymore, right? So feel free to sell whatever you need to carry all of this. [21:39] <Jonah> But I'd like you to get this customized a bit. I wanted to do this in person, myself, but I can trust you. [21:40] <~Tempest> [Raider] I can't accept. It'd be like asking me to carry your name. It's your weapons, Jonah, this is the sort of thing you should be hanging over your fireplace, not giving me. The money, I can understand. But keep the guns. They'll be the proof of a good story. Trust me, nothing is more satisfying than showing what you made it out with. [21:40] <~Tempest> [Raider] I dunno if you plan to have kids or anything but I know that if I had any, I'd do that for them. [21:40] <Jonah> Raider, I'm grateful you think I'm that generous. [21:40] <Jonah> But this isn't for you, ya dumb lug. [21:41] <Jonah> Her name's Idle Siren. I always pictured her in metallic blue, with a cheesy music note alongside the grip. After you get her named, colored, and shining, I want you to offer it at a shrine. Alongside at least 50 shells of each ammo type under the sun. [21:42] <Jonah> The Gods helped me until the very end. They blessed me with the love of my life, the fuck of my life, and the best merc money can buy. [21:42] <Jonah> The least I can do is return the favor, give another poor sod a fighting chance. [21:42] <Jonah> We've been under contract for forever. If there's any sense of obligation you have for me - please let me give my respects. [21:43] <~Tempest> [Raider] Jonah... [21:43] <Jonah> What can I say? [21:43] <Jonah> I'm a Paladin. [21:43] <~Tempest> [Raider] Fine. [21:44] <Jonah> Thank you. [21:44] <~Tempest> *The soon-to-be ex mercenary removes a bottle of motor oil to make space in his bag, to accomodate for the Protecta.* [21:44] * Jonah breathes easily after that weight off her chest. all that's left is to - combine, them, somehow. Maybe one on the ground, each cardinal direction in the shape of a cross. Or maybe just mashing them together. [21:45] <~Tempest> [Raider] If you insist, I'll do this for you. [21:45] <Jonah> Ayako, you've been pretty silent for a while now. [21:45] <Jonah> Gonna come with, or keep Raider company? [21:45] <Jonah> Thank you. You're always gonna be in my prayers. [21:45] <Jonah> The Gods are damn generous - the rest of your days are gonna be filled with hookers and blow. [21:46] <Jonah> Or, you know, whatever else revs your engine. [21:47] <~Tempest> [Raider] I'm too old for hookers and blow. But I appreciate the thought nonetheless. [21:47] <~Tempest> *With your faithful Protecta in stow, Raider glances at you once more, then military salutes, as if to drive the point home.* [21:47] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Hey, Jonah? [21:47] <Jonah> Yeah, Ayako? [21:48] <~Tempest> [Ayako] You fukken bet I wanna come with you. No more cops to look at me funny! [21:48] * Jonah salutes right back, with absolutely no tears welling in her eyes. [21:48] <Jonah> Okay, but before we go, do me a favor and close your eyes? [21:48] <~Tempest> [Raider] Oh, one more thing... We need to do this officially, Jonah. [21:48] <~Tempest> [Raider] I need you to dismiss me and relieve me of my contract so that I can go. [21:50] <~Tempest> *Ayako closes her eyes and waits expectantly.* [21:51] <Jonah> Jackie Mueller. For your impeccable bravery under fire, unwavering loyalty, money bought though it may be, and patience for suffering the likes of me; I, Jonah Knight, hereby dismiss and relieve you of any worries for the rest of your days, on my honor as a Paladin of Heaven. [21:51] <Jonah> Thank you for your service. [21:54] <~Tempest> [Raider] I'm the one thanking you for all of this. [21:55] <Jonah_> Hey, whatever floats your boat. Praise me, praise me more. [21:55] <Jonah_> Now, Ayako - close your eyes before we go? I have a present for you, too. [21:55] <~Tempest> *Ayako had her eyes closed all that time.* [21:55] <Jonah_> Perfect. [21:55] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Oh man. Don't give her what I think you're gonna give her. [21:56] <Jonah_> I've already taken your last name, dear. You know me too well by now. [21:56] * Jonah_ gently takes Ayako's hands - and slaps the handcuffs onto her once the paladin's gotten the tanuki's arms behind her back. [21:57] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Eeeep! [21:57] <~Tempest> [Ayako] You lewd, lewd, LEWD paladin! [21:57] * Jonah then leans over to whisper in Ayako's ear, so soft and gentle that Carolyn can't hear. "You're fucking /mine/ now, Ayako. I'll make you forget about your husband and all those shitty drunken adventures." [21:58] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Ooo, this gonna be -hot-. [21:58] <Jonah> Mhmm. [21:58] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] And here all my regrets are coming back at full speed. *sigh!* [21:58] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] Screw regrets. Way too late now. [21:58] <Jonah> That's right. I'll screw all the regret right out of you. [21:58] <Jonah> *To Endgame! If I can figure out how to get there.* [22:01] <&Hebizuka> *You have all four Cardinal Amulets. To leave the Mazes and complete your final objective, you must invoke the deities, which will transport you to the Endgame. Warning: there is no turning back. Your decision will be final and irrevocable. Do you really want to complete this run?* [22:09] <Jonah> Qīnglóng, Azure Dragon, Guardian of the East, He Who is As Hushed As The Wood. Zhūquè, Vermillion Bird, Guardian of the South, He Who Is As Fierce As The Flame. Báihǔ, White Tiger, Guardian of the South, He Who is As Stalwart As The Metals. Xuánwǔ, Black Tortoise, Guardian of the West, He Who is As Swift As The Waters. [22:09] <Jonah> For your guidance and blessings, I Thank You. For your trials and tribulations, I Thank You. [22:10] <~Tempest> *Carolyn facepalms, but she still feels light-hearted at how excessively formal Jonah looks like.* [22:10] <Jonah> And now, I ask for Your blessings once more. Please, return Me and Mine to where We belong. [22:10] <&Hebizuka> *The amulets fuse into one before your eyes!* [22:10] * Jonah also not-so-subtlely flips her wife off when she hears the facepalm. [22:11] <&Hebizuka> *Before you know it, a flash of light blasts out of the fused amulet, blinding you and your remaining two allies.* [22:11] <&Hebizuka> *For a moment, you can't see or hear anything.* [22:13] <&Hebizuka> *When you can see again, you're unsure whether your eyes are playing tricks on you, because all you see is white. But you come to realize that yes, you, Carolyn and Ayako are in a seemingly endless white area.* [22:13] <&Hebizuka> *Maybe THE White Area.* [22:14] <~Tempest> [Ayako] Are we tripping or is this real? [22:15] <Jonah> Heaven's not this boring. [22:15] <Jonah> Soooooooo. Three breast gropes it's Hebi's doing. [22:16] * &Hebizuka appears. [22:16] <&Hebizuka> Good answer, Jonah. [22:16] <&Hebizuka> Long time no see. [22:17] <&Hebizuka> You certainly have made a long, long way since I first gave you your starting gear. [22:17] <&Hebizuka> It feels like years. [22:17] <Jonah> A year, actually. [22:18] <Jonah> A year and two months, if my internal clock's still ticking. [22:18] <Jonah> Give or take that trip to Hell - by the way, since you're the only one who could reasonably expect to know. [22:18] <Jonah> I /did/ in fact beat up and then rape Amodeus, right? [22:18] <Jonah> Asmodeus* [22:18] <Jonah> Because these two beauties still won't believe me. [22:18] * &Hebizuka shrugs, smiling but remaining enigmatic. Neither denying nor acknowledging. [22:19] <Jonah> Good enough for me. [22:19] <&Hebizuka> What you /did/ do, as the Contestant, by surviving through the challenges and the hurdles you have been put through, you have proven your worth. For that I wish to extend my congratulations. You have done what anyone reasonable would've expected to see you fail. [22:20] <&Hebizuka> Now... I want to make an offer. [22:20] <Jonah> Pffffffffffffffft. You're still a raging cunt, you realize. And you wouldn't have chosen me unless you knew it was gonna happen. [22:20] <Jonah> Thanks for the faith, by the by. If it weren't for you I'd never have met Carolyn or Ayako. [22:20] * Jonah promptly shuts up for the offer. [22:21] * &Hebizuka summons three doors. [22:21] <&Hebizuka> I did promise that should you reunite the Amulets, you would be given the right to return home. And my offer is a choice, where this is still one of the options. However... I can extend two other possibilities. If you so desire, for any reason you may have, I can send you back in the Mazes. Or... [22:23] <&Hebizuka> ...You can discover exactly what exactly you are a Contestant for if you choose to follow me in my quarters. I haven't put you through all of this just so I could watch you with popcorn. There is a reason you are still alive, but I can only explain if you are ready to give up your right to return home in order to know the truth, for the simple reason that what you will learn may not allow you to leave. [22:25] <&Hebizuka> Jonah, the decision rests in your hands. Take any time you need to think about it. [22:25] <&Hebizuka> Left door: Go home - Middle door: Go back to the Mazes - Right door: Learn the truth [22:25] <Jonah> You say that like you don't expect my answer. Come on, Hebi, you've seen me enough to figure it out. [22:26] <&Hebizuka> You must still clearly give me your answer. It's a matter of principle. [22:26] <Jonah> I've played this game before. Not the same setting, not the same opponents, but definitely the same game. Let the next poor sod figure it out, Heaven knows you won't stop here. [22:26] <Jonah> Besides, we both know that there's a non-zero chance I'll be back here /anyways./ In one form or another. [22:27] * Jonah turns to the left door, for once in her life. [22:27] <Jonah> Carolyn Ayako? Ladies first. [22:27] <Jonah> Carloyn,* [22:27] <~Tempest> [Carolyn] I know it won't matter if you want to go home, but for the time being, we're still in the Mazes. As Lady Hebizuka says... it's your decision. Just know I'll follow you wherever you decide to go. [22:28] <~Tempest> [Ayako] ... Uh. What she said. In less words. [22:28] <Jonah> My life is with you two. [22:29] <Jonah> But my preference is really to just go back home. I miss sun. And wind. And I have a lot of things that'll blow your minds. [22:29] * Jonah opens the left handed door and gestures to them both. "Like I said - ladies first." [22:29] <&Hebizuka> Final decision? [22:31] <Jonah> Mhmm. I've left enough of a mark. And I need to have a talking to with some guys who /fucking forgot to rez me after I kicked the bucket the first time./ [22:32] <&Hebizuka> *You pass the final Left Door - perhaps the first and last time you're not going straight ahead ahead in your entire career - along with Carolyn and Ayako, the two allies that have stuck with you.* [22:32] * Jonah takes a little moment, just pause right there, as she slips on her platinum ring and heads off for fresh air. [22:32] <&Hebizuka> Goodbye Jonah, you have escaped the Mazes! [22:32] <&Hebizuka> Final checkout [22:34] <&Hebizuka> 385 rooms, 64 kills, 6 missions, 4 Amulets, 468 P$, 1 Run [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Final score 778 pts [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Position: 3rd (unchanged) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> +97 points since last session [22:35] <&Hebizuka> =Today's stats= (Legend: Hits/Attempts) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Shots fired 1/3 [22:35] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 1/3 (33%) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> =All-time stats= [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Shots fired 118/220 (54%) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Melee hits 3/5 (60%) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Nades and rockets 3/5 (60%) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Explosives planted 0/0 (N/A) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> Special/Other 1/1 (100%) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 125/231 (54% accuracy) [22:35] <&Hebizuka> =Full statistics= [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Precision Rifle: 2 pts (unranked) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Combat Rifle: 2 pts (unranked) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Shotgun: 25 pts (Silver ; title: Shotgun Marksman) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Pistol: 4 pts (unranked) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Revolver: 1 pt (unranked) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Hand grenade: 3 pts (unranked) [22:36] <&Hebizuka> Piercing weapons: 1 pt (unranked) [22:37] <&Hebizuka> Total creatures vanquished: 64 kills (Combat Experience Medal award) [22:37] <&Hebizuka> Headshot kills: 14 [22:37] <&Hebizuka> Headshot-kill ratio: 21.88% [22:37] <&Hebizuka> Special Tactics: 0 [22:37] <&Hebizuka> Brute Force: 15 [22:38] <&Hebizuka> Youkai vanquished: 2 [22:38] <&Hebizuka> Military personnel eliminated: 4 [22:38] <&Hebizuka> Missions passed: 6 Normal missions [22:38] <&Hebizuka> Runs completed: 1 (Veterancy Medal award) [22:38] <&Hebizuka> =List of vanquished creatures= [22:40] <&Hebizuka> (Normal) [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Grizzly bear x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Giant spider x4 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Rattlesnake x4 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Warg x3 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Black leopard x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Hellhound [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Leprechaun [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Incubus [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Horned devil x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Cuegle x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Cyclops x3 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Bes x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Wolf zombie [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Goblin [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Cerberus x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Aer Dragon [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Black marketeer [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Gangster x5 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Crocodile [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Black bear x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Kamaitachi [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Vampire [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Zombie x3 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Ghoul x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Draugr x1 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Armored grizzly x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Minotaur [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Venedrac [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Kamikaze [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Gorilla x3 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> (Youkai) [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Kyonshi x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> (Military) [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Maze Sergeant [22:40] <&Hebizuka> DF Lieutenant [22:40] <&Hebizuka> DF Soldier x2 [22:40] <&Hebizuka> (Special) [22:40] <&Hebizuka> Asmodeus

Full statistics available at http://mazeworld.net/wiki/Jonah