Log:Session 41 (Meta, no ontology)

From Mazeworld

[13:28] <&Hebizuka> *Welcome back to the Mazes, Jonah. You have visited 152 rooms. Next special room at the 154th. No special condition to report; you seem healthy, for now. !mrooms3 to continue.* [13:29] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [13:29] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3828 - Front door: 4750 - Right door: 5449 - Roomstyle: 334 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [13:29] <+Jonah> Charge through the front door! [13:30] <&Hebizuka> *A storage area, with its piles of boxes and containers. Only one door ahead (!mrooms1). There's a strange-looking fellow there, with a stand that looks like a shop, though it doesn't appear to be selling anything.* [13:31] <&Hebizuka> *All you're sure of is that his fellow is human. [13:32] * +Jonah takes a moment to examine the person more closely, before making another move. [13:34] <&Hebizuka> *The person is an aged, latino female. She is of average height, muscular(!), has very short brown hair, a pair of brown eyes, wears a plastic bracelet over the left wrist and has an (unseen) wound on the back.* [13:34] <&Hebizuka> *She is wearing a leather jacket, tuxedo trousers, and running shoes; a curious mix which isn't an easy way to tell what exactly her job is...* [13:34] <&Hebizuka> *She also appears unarmed.* [13:35] <+Jonah> Well, no time like the present... [13:35] * +Jonah walks forward calmly and confidently towards the lady! "What are you buying, stranger?" [13:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hi, miss. I'm not a shopkeeper. I am a gambler . You and I can play card games... For money. Interested? Any betting amount is acceptable, even just 1 P$ if you want to try it out. [13:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Trust me, this ain't no children's card games. We play for keeps. [13:37] <+Jonah> Tempting, tempting... but what card games we talking? [13:37] <+Jonah> Poker, blackjack, higher or lower? [13:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Black Jack, Double or Nothing, Higher or Lower. [13:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] And perhaps more games in the future, missus. [13:38] <+Jonah> Can I switch games between rounds? [13:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Sure. [13:38] <+Jonah> Alrighty... let me just check my wallet... [13:38] <+Jonah> *how much money do I have in my pouches?* [13:39] <&Hebizuka> *You find 512 P$ in your money pouch.* [13:40] <~SU_Tempest> *The gambler takes out several decks of cards; there's at least eight! - which she expertly shuffles, waiting expectantly for you.* [13:41] <+Jonah> ...Eight deck blackjack? /Seriously?/ [13:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hehe. [13:41] * +Jonah pulls out 12 P$ to open the game with. "Man, this is so not in my favor. Black Jack me, Miss...?" [13:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Blackjack it is. *She finishes shuffling, and takes your cash.* [13:43] <&Hebizuka> *The dealer distributes cards.* [13:43] <&Hebizuka> [Blackjack] Dealer: [Unseen], [Six of hearts], score: at least 6 [13:44] <&Hebizuka> [Blackjack] You: [Two of hearts], [Two of spades] - score: 4 [13:44] <&Hebizuka> *Hit, stand, double, split?* [13:44] <+Jonah> Alright, let's double. [13:44] <&Hebizuka> *Double down? You will double your bet for ONE card, and no more. Confirm?* [13:45] <+Jonah> WAIT NO I MEANT SPLIT. [13:45] <+Jonah> Ugh. Blackjack terminology is not my forte. [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Split? Okay, I'll need 12 more P$. [13:45] <+Jonah> Split's the 'effectively play two hands at once' right? [13:45] <+Jonah> Right. [13:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] That's it yes. [13:45] * +Jonah hands over the necessary cash! [13:46] <&Hebizuka> [Blackjack] The pot is now 24 P$. [13:46] <&Hebizuka> [Blackjack] Hand 1: Two of spades, Nine of diamonds (11) // Hand 2: Two of hearts, Seven of spades (9) [13:47] <&Hebizuka> *Hand 1: Hit, or stand?* [13:47] <&Hebizuka> *Or perhaps double?* [13:47] <+Jonah> Hit. [13:48] <&Hebizuka> *King of spades. Hand 1 is now 21 points.* [13:48] <&Hebizuka> *Hand 2: Hit, stand, double?* [13:48] <+Jonah> And that's a cool 12 bucks for me. And... let's hit this one too. [13:49] <&Hebizuka> *Seven of diamonds. Hand 2 is now 16 points. Hit/Stand ?* [13:51] <+Jonah> Mmmmm... Standing on 16 and up is the correct move to make... I think. [13:51] <+Jonah> Yeah, let's stand. [13:51] <&Hebizuka> *Your hands: 21, 16. Let's see the dealer...* [13:51] <&Hebizuka> *The dealer reveals her face-down card to be: Eight of hearts. She has 14 points.* [13:51] <&Hebizuka> *The dealer hits...* [13:52] <&Hebizuka> *Two of hearts. Dealer: 16.* [13:52] <&Hebizuka> *The dealer hits again...* [13:52] <&Hebizuka> *Four of diamonds. Dealer: 20. She is obligated to stand.* [13:53] <&Hebizuka> *One hand loses, one hand wins. Hand 1 generates 24 P$, which are handed back to you, hand 2 is lost and goes to the Dealer. In other words, no benefit. You get your cash back.* [13:53] <&Hebizuka> *Your total carried money is now 512 P$.* [13:53] <+Jonah> Ah, well. [13:53] <+Jonah> Let's try this again. How about... higher or lower? [13:54] <+Jonah> Seems simple enough, eh? Quicker, at least. [13:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Sure thing. How much do you wanna bet? [13:54] * +Jonah hands over 12 P$ once more. [13:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] You know how to play, right? [13:55] <+Jonah> You show me a card, I have to decide if the next card has a higher or lower numerical value, Ace is lowest, ties mean nothing happens? [13:55] <+Jonah> Unless of course ties mean I lose in which case I call shenanegins. [13:56] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Actually, ties are wins. [13:56] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] You got it right though. [13:56] <+Jonah> Oh! That's gracious of you, Miss. [13:56] <&Hebizuka> *The dealer distributes cards.* [13:57] <&Hebizuka> *A face-up card and a face-down card are distributed. The face-up card is a Queen of Hearts. Higher or Lower?* [13:58] <+Jonah> Lower. [13:59] <&Hebizuka> *Five of diamonds. You win!* [14:00] <&Hebizuka> *You earn 24 P$, for a total benefit of 12 P$. Total money carried: 524 P$.* [14:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Good job, miss. Want to play more? [14:01] <+Jonah> Hehe. Simple enough. Sure. [14:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Place yer bets. [14:01] <+Jonah> Let's make it... oh, 50P$ this time. [14:01] <+Jonah> Now wach as you show me a 6 or a 7. [14:01] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up card: Ace.* [14:02] <&Hebizuka> *Automatic win!* [14:02] <&Hebizuka> *Earnings: 100 P$ (+50). The face-down card was 7 of clubs.* [14:02] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 574 P$* [14:02] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Someone's lucky today. Want more? [14:03] <+Jonah> That's... huh. [14:03] <+Jonah> I'm kinda wary of wasting all my luck like this. [14:03] <+Jonah> But - sure. Another 50. [14:04] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Six of diamonds. Higher or lower?* [14:05] <+Jonah> Mmmm. Higher's the more likely option. So Higher. [14:05] <&Hebizuka> *Queen of hearts. You win!* [14:05] <&Hebizuka> *Earnings: 100 P$ (+50).* [14:06] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] You're on a roll! [14:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Up for more? Another game maybe? [14:08] <+Jonah> Ahahaha... Carolyn would be loving this. [14:09] <+Jonah> How about another round of Higher or Lower? [14:09] <+Jonah> And then we can try Double or Nothing. [14:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Sure miss. Place your bet. [14:09] * +Jonah places another 50P$. [14:09] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: 5 of clubs.* [14:10] <&Hebizuka> *Higher or Lower?* [14:11] <+Jonah> Higher. [14:11] <&Hebizuka> *7 of diamonds. You win once again!* [14:11] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 674 P$.* [14:11] <+Jonah> Phew. [14:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] You're good at this, miss. Wanna up the ante a bit? [14:12] <+Jonah> Well, let's see - what are the rules for Double or Nothing? [14:12] <+Jonah> The version I know uses coins, not cards. [14:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] It's simple. I draw five cards, one is face up and the other four face-down. You need to pick one card among the four face-down, and hope that it's at least equal, or higher to the face-up card. You win, your bet doubles. You lose, I pocket everything. Or, if your bet has enough cash, you walk away and pocket. [14:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Low face-up values is good, high face-up values bad. [14:14] <+Jonah> ...So this is basically Extreme Higher or Lower. [14:14] <+Jonah> That's - sure, why not. Let's make it 50 P$, Miss! [14:15] <&Hebizuka> *Double or Nothing, round 1. Pot value: 50 P$.* [14:15] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: 4 of diamonds. Pick which card? A, B, C or D?* [14:16] <+Jonah> Eenie, Meanie, Minie, A. [14:17] <&Hebizuka> *B, C and D were: 7 of hearts, 9 of diamonds, Jack of diamondS;* [14:17] <+Jonah> WELP. [14:17] <+Jonah> Enjoy your 50 P$, Miss. [14:17] <&Hebizuka> *Your chosen card is... 3 of hearts.* [14:17] <&Hebizuka> *You lose.* [14:18] <+Jonah> Ahahaha. Well. I hope you don't mind if I go back to Higher or Lower? [14:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Ey, it's fine, just a bad spot. Cmon, I insist, try another round. [14:18] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Unless you really wanna go back to Higher or Lower, it's fine too. I mean, I'm just the dealer. [14:19] <+Jonah> Mmmm. Give me a kiss and I'll try this again. [14:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Whoa. Let's go back to H o' L then. [14:19] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Place yer bet. [14:20] <+Jonah> Hahaha. I thought as much. [14:20] * +Jonah slaps down 100 P$. [14:20] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Six of diamonds.* [14:20] <&Hebizuka> *H or L?* [14:21] <+Jonah> The gods are punishing me. Higher. [14:22] <&Hebizuka> *Nine of clubs! You win! [14:23] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 724 P$.* [14:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Heh, I won't deny you ain't bad at all. [14:24] <+Jonah> Man, this is - surprisingly scary. [14:24] <+Jonah> I suppose we can make this /kinda/ like double or nothing. [14:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Get bolder, this is how winners make it. [14:24] * +Jonah plots down 200 P$. [14:24] <+Jonah> It's like you've never heard of 'slow and steady wins the race'. [14:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Now we're talkin. [14:25] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Ten of hearts. Higher or lower?* [14:25] <+Jonah> Hah. Don't casinos make their money by playing the margins? Lower. [14:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I s'pose. [14:25] <&Hebizuka> *Five of spades. You win, once more!* [14:25] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 924 P$* [14:26] <+Jonah> 200 P$ again, for higher or Lower. [14:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Sure thing, ma'am. Show me how hot you are today. [14:26] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Eight of spades. H or L?* [14:27] <+Jonah> My gut says higher, but - Lower. [14:27] <&Hebizuka> *Six of hearts! Another win!!* [14:27] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 1124 P$.* [14:27] <+Jonah> And that is why intuition is full of it. [14:27] <+Jonah> Uhm - by the by. [14:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Damn, miss. Awesome. [14:28] <+Jonah> Why do you even offer Higher or Lower? [14:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Why not? [14:28] <+Jonah> Like, I'm not complaining, but it seems like you'd lose a lot of money this way. [14:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I've seen people on a streak of bad luck just opposite to you. Yer just lucky. [14:28] <+Jonah> I suppose. [14:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Ya wouldn't believe how ballsy some shmucks get when they play. [14:28] <+Jonah> How big is your wallet, then? I don't want to wring you dry... [14:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Oh I got plenty, don'tcha worry bout that. I roll this container 'round specifically for this yanno. [14:29] <+Jonah> Hahahaha. Alrighty, then. [14:29] <~SU_Tempest> *She taps the container which also serves as the table. You wonder just how much cash is inside.* [14:29] <+Jonah> 200 P$ again. [14:29] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: 2 of clubs. H or L?* [14:30] <+Jonah> Man, if I actually get an Ace here... Higher. [14:30] <&Hebizuka> *4 of spades. Another win!* [14:30] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 1324 P$.* [14:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I'm sayin, you are doing good so far. [14:31] <+Jonah> ...I've more than doubled my walking cash. Dang. [14:31] <+Jonah> Uhm... well, let's make it 300 P$, then? [14:32] <+Jonah> And seriously, feel free to tell me to stop at any time. This /is/ your livlihood here. [14:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] You asking me to tell you to stop playin? *Playful smirk.* Why I'd be out of a job if I asked my players to be reasonable. *She winks, then takes your bet money.* [14:33] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Nine of clubs. H or L?* [14:34] <+Jonah> Low....High... Ngghh, well. Gme Strategy hasn't failed me so far. Lower. [14:34] <&Hebizuka> *Eight of spades. Hooray for mathematics.* [14:34] <&Hebizuka> *Another win.* [14:34] <+Jonah> This isn't good for my heart, I swear to gods. [14:35] * +Jonah plops down the 600 P$ she just won. [14:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] But it good for yer wallet. [14:35] <&Hebizuka> *Total money prior to betting: 1624 P$.* [14:35] <+Jonah> We'll see. [14:35] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Six of hearts. H or L?* [14:36] <+Jonah> And that's the Heavens punishing my hubris. Higher. [14:36] <&Hebizuka> *3 of clubs. You lose!* [14:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] See? It ain't all wins. [14:36] <+Jonah> ...Funny thing is, I feel better /after/ losing. [14:37] * +Jonah pulls out 300 P$ for another go! [14:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Why's that? Given the state of my bank you still have net gain. [14:37] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Ace of spades. Automatic win!* [14:37] <&Hebizuka> *The face-down card was 4 of clubs.* [14:38] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 1324 P$.* [14:38] <+Jonah> Because constant strings of good luck scar - huh. [14:38] <+Jonah> Well, let's do the time warp again. [14:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Heh. [14:38] * +Jonah tosses down another 600 P$. [14:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Yer ballsy, lady. And I don't mean to guess what's in yer pants. I mean it for real. [14:38] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: 5 of spades. H or L?* [14:39] <+Jonah> 600 P$ is ballsy? [14:39] <+Jonah> Crap. Craaaaap. [14:39] <+Jonah> Higher. [14:40] <&Hebizuka> *6 of spades. Win!* [14:40] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 1924 P$.* [14:40] <+Jonah> That was... that was too close. [14:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hey, a win's a win. Close or far, you ahead, s'all that matters. Ya must be loaded now. [14:41] <+Jonah> I'll drop down to 400 P$ this time. [14:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I mean ya sucked me dry of nearly 1500 P$. [14:41] <+Jonah> That's - huh. That's actually true. [14:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] So one more eh? [14:42] <+Jonah> /Wow./ Most casinos would have run me out by now. Or stop offering Higher or Lower. [14:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hehe. That why there ain't many of us. [14:42] <+Jonah> Well, until I'm broke or I can't carry any more. [14:42] <+Jonah> And you, my friend, are a brave person. [14:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] So you want one more go yes? 400? [14:43] <+Jonah> Yes, at 400. [14:43] <~SU_Tempest> *The gambler smirks and takes your bet.* [14:44] <&Hebizuka> *Face-up: Queen of clubs. H or L?* [14:44] <+Jonah> Lower. [14:44] <&Hebizuka> *3 of clubs. Win!* [14:45] <&Hebizuka> *Total money: 2324 P$. You can't even carry everything! You have to leave 245 P$ on the table.* [14:46] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 2000 P$ in pouch + 79 P$ in backpack. Your pack/main inv is maxed out (60/60). 245 P$ on the table which rightfully belong to you.* [14:46] <+Jonah> ...Well I was going to see if you wanted to buy some gems off me. [14:46] <+Jonah> But I literally can't carry any more. [14:46] <+Jonah> And - and I'm guessing the Bank doesn't do delivery services. [14:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Outta bag space eh? If I was superstitious, I'd say now's da time to quit playin' and start managin' yer bag. [14:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Na they don't. [14:49] <+Jonah> Mmm. I'm just trying to figure out if any of these things /aren't/ in fact worth their weight in, well. Cash. [14:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] If ya got stuff to eat, maybe it's time to eat. [14:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Ya look like one of those adventurers who always carry entire shops' worth o' crap in their bags, surely ya got food or stuff you don't need? [14:50] <+Jonah> ...I got brandy. [14:50] <+Jonah> Fancy a drink with me? It sucks to booze alone. [14:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Can't drink on da job, sorry. [14:51] <+Jonah> Shame. Watch as I get WASTED AS HELL and then proceed to lose everything. [14:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hey, now. [14:53] <+Jonah> Or... Hmm. [14:53] <+Jonah> *How hungry am I? I do have a whole pizza...* [14:54] <&Hebizuka> *You feel content, not quite satiated but you are absolutely not hungry.* [14:54] <+Jonah> Want to split a pizza with me? Or can you not eat on the job, either? [14:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Food's fine, but it better not be anythin' lethal, ya get me? *She winks.* Cuz that ain't how you gettin me cash. [14:56] <+Jonah> I wouldn't dream of it. [14:56] * +Jonah pulls out the GLORIOUS PIZZA, and takes 4 slices for herself, two to eat at first. [14:56] <+Jonah> Bon appetite? [14:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Ya, thanks. *She happily takes her own slices.* [15:00] <&Hebizuka> *These slices of pizza tasted amazing!* [15:00] <&Hebizuka> *You have the feeling of being solidly satiated for a while.* [15:01] <~SU_Tempest> *The gambler wolfs down her own, and seems to appreciate it a lot!* [15:01] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hey, if ya got more where it comes from, I'd love it! Ain't eaten a pizza that tasted so good in so long! Don't care if it cold! [15:02] * +Jonah grins, and enjoys herself a third slice. [15:03] <&Hebizuka> *You stuff yourself. You feel so full! But it's so good!* [15:03] <&Hebizuka> *You're very solidly satiated now.* [15:04] <+Jonah> And... well, down the hatch it goes. [15:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Hey, can I get one more? If ya got more. [15:04] * +Jonah noms on the last one, and roceeds to shove 100 P$ into her left Leg Rig. [15:04] <+Jonah> Oh - yeah, sure. [15:04] <+Jonah> Here, you can have it isntead. [15:04] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] ...Aww- oh. Thanks. [15:04] <~SU_Tempest> *She noms it down happily.* [15:04] <+Jonah> Girls have to stick together, after all~ Hope you enjoy~ [15:05] <+Jonah> It's... that was the bad slice, wasn't it. [15:05] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Don't care. Generosity is da best sauce. [15:05] <&Hebizuka> *You shove 100 P$ in your leg rig. There's still 145 on the floor.* [15:06] <+Jonah> Hmmmm - don't suppose you have a phone on you? [15:06] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Na, sorry. [15:07] <+Jonah> Man, no one has a phone these days. I should, like. [15:07] <+Jonah> Start buying them for people. [15:07] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Haha, yer too nice. [15:07] * +Jonah sighs, and tosses out that weird metal pipe that's been with her for who knows how long. [15:08] <&Hebizuka> *Dropped: Hollow metal pipe.* [15:08] <+Jonah> Hahaha, you think? I just get lonely easily. You always meet these interesting strangers, and then - poof. you step through a door and never see them again. [15:08] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Such is adventurer lot. Ya gotta get used to it. Or get an adventurin' buddy. [15:08] * +Jonah shoves another 100 P$ into her backpack, now that she has the room! [15:08] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried: 2279 P$.* [15:09] <&Hebizuka> *Your backpack/main inv is maxed out again. There's 45 P$ left on the floor.* [15:09] <+Jonah> Oh? Are you volunteering to be an adventuring buddy, Miss~? [15:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Nah. I got a job. But I met plenty of people like you, searchin' for riches and shit. Amusingly many gambled away their findings. [15:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Some got lucky, for sure. One in particular became REAL rich. [15:10] <+Jonah> Oh? Do you remember their name? [15:10] <+Jonah> I could use a storytime after a big meal like that. [15:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I don't recall his name but he had the luck of the frikkin gods. Was some kinda archaeologist who said he was out for his breakout finding. But with that cash, he could retire! He won, what... Four grand or somethin'? [15:12] <+Jonah> That's - wait, four grand is enough to retire? [15:12] <+Jonah> I figured it'd be like, at least past fifty grand. [15:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] If he's capable o' gamblin to the point o' gettin 4000 coins, I'm pretty sure he's got more money! I'm sure he can live nicely with that kinda cash. [15:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] I mean, no-one would gamble all their live savings, yanno what I mean? He crazy, good kind o crazy, but not that badly. Sure he's got more. An' now he's living like a freakin god. [15:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Nicest guns, amazing gear, super neato bedroom an' shit. Even came back to find me and tell me just how much his life improved. [15:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] But I just could never catch his damn name! [15:14] <+Jonah> Hahahaha. But I'm guessing stories like that bring in the suckers, eh? [15:14] * +Jonah gestures to the 45 P$ still left behind. "I can't carry this, so I guess it's going to go back to you - but a game of Double or Nothing for kicks?" [15:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Ain't allowed to do games for kicks. If ya don't want it, I can take the tip though. [15:16] <+Jonah> Enjoy the tip then. [15:16] <+Jonah> Ahh - and you're probably not gonna give a damn soon as I leave, but the name's Jonah. [15:16] <+Jonah> It was... nice taking your money? [15:16] <~SU_Tempest> *The gambler places 45 P$ back in her container.* [15:16] <+Jonah> And sharing food. [15:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Person] Nice playin' and chattin' with ya, yea. Enjoy your earnings. [15:17] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [15:17] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 6189 - Roomstyle: 50 - Enemy strength: 1 /6 [15:17] <+Jonah> Ta ta. [15:17] * +Jonah heads through the only door. [15:18] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room, where a gun shop is set up.* [15:18] <+Jonah> ...Time to make more money. [15:19] <+Jonah> Hey there, stranger! What are you selling? [15:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Hey there, ma'am. Plenty of things actually! Assault rifles, pistols, revolvers, shotguns, sniper rifles, hunting rifles, my selection today is excellent! [15:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Wanna see my list? [15:21] <+Jonah> Shotguns? [15:21] <+Jonah> Shotguns are great. [15:21] <+Jonah> But, uh - mind if I offload some stuff first? [15:21] <+Jonah> I have some things you might want to buy! [15:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I see that, you have two on yourself! And sure! Let's see whatchu got. [15:23] * +Jonah reaches into her vest pockets to pull out the +P+ ammo, and into her leg rig for the 20 taser cartridges, before pulling the .50 Silencer out of her backpack. [15:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] .50 AE? [15:23] <~SU_Tempest> *He points at the +P+ marked ammunition.* [15:24] <+Jonah> Ah - yes, I think that's what this is called. [15:24] <+Jonah> Oh, and! [15:24] <~SU_Tempest> *You can't find any silencer.* [15:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Hrmm... [15:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I can't accept these. *He points at the taser cartridges.* I don't buy this, I'm sorry. [15:27] <+Jonah> You. You - craaaaap. [15:27] <+Jonah> Do you know who would, then? [15:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Generic weapon shops and forges do. I believe blacksmiths sell tasers. [15:29] <+Jonah> A blugh blugh blugh. [15:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] By the way, I have two guns for sale that can shoot those four rounds of .50 AE you are showing me there. [15:31] <+Jonah> Should have dumped the cartridges and gambled some more. [15:31] <+Jonah> And I'm not interested in buying a gun /just/ for four rounds. [15:31] <+Jonah> So - +P+ ammunition, and - oh, right. [15:31] * +Jonah hands over the Springfield gun that she had holstered earlier! [15:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Let me see... Oh. An XDM. [15:32] <+Jonah> I have no idea what that means and I can't really say I care. [15:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] And there's... 14 rounds inside. Okay. let me add this to the tally. [15:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Anything else? [15:33] * +Jonah hurriedly equips the machine pistol from McBride to her TW slot, freeing up MORE SPACE. [15:33] <~SU_Tempest> *Not yet.* [15:33] <~SU_Tempest> *Finish selling first, we'll move equipment next.* [15:33] <+Jonah> Oh - wait, wait. [15:33] <+Jonah> I /do/ have something! [15:33] * +Jonah scrambles for her backpack. Where is it, where is it... here! [15:34] <+Jonah> 100 round magazine. I have no idea why you'd need to shoot 100 bullets of 9 mm, but there you go. [15:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Ohhh. That is most interesting. Let me see... [15:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Wow, nice. It's loaded. 98 rounds. All hollow-points. That's a little treasure you got there! [15:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Will that be all? [15:35] <+Jonah> It's yours now. And that'll be all for selling. [15:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Okay. Let me check how much all that is worth. [15:37] <&Hebizuka> =Selling= [15:37] <&Hebizuka> .50 Action Express, +P+, x4 - 36 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> Springfield XDM, x1 - 213 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> XDM 16-round magazine, x1 - 23 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> .40 S&W, FMJ, x14 - 11 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> MP5 9mm 100-round C-MAG, x1 - 275 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> 9x19mm Parabellum, HP, x98 - 196 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> TOTAL: 754 P$ [15:37] <&Hebizuka> *Confirm?* [15:39] <+Jonah> *Yup.* [15:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Oh! My bad, I didn't see the laser sight on the XDM. [15:40] <~SU_Tempest> *Adding to the above: Laserlyte SCV4 - 100 P$. Your total is now 854 P$.* [15:40] <+Jonah> ...There was a laser sight on the XDM? [15:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] There was. I can take it too, unless you want it. [15:41] <&Hebizuka> *It isn't compatible with anything you carry, except the P90; which already has a light mounted.* [15:41] <+Jonah> No, go right on ahead. I need the money more. [15:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Right on. Gimme a sec... [15:42] <&Hebizuka> *All done. Pack/Main inv: 56.02/60, the Micro UZI hasn't been moved out of backpack yet.* [15:43] <&Hebizuka> *There is 854 P$ sitting for you on the table.* [15:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Alrighty. Whatcha need? [15:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I got all kinds of gear, if you want me to pull my list, just name it. [16:10] <+Jonah> Right - well, do you have any Frag-12 ammunition? [16:10] <+Jonah> Because I could definitely use some mroe! [16:11] * +Jonah equips the UZi into her TW slot while talking to the gun shop owner, trying to squeeze more carrying space out of her tiny backpaack. [16:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I do. Three shells, 17 P$ a pop, 51 P$ for the three. Want em? [16:12] <+Jonah> Yes please. And, hmmm... how much does 22 rounds of full power buckshot weigh? [16:14] <~SU_Tempest> *About 1.1 unit.* [16:15] <+Jonah> Hook me up with 22 rounds of FP buckshot, please. [16:15] <+Jonah> And that should be enough to tide me over. [16:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Weeell... I can't really sell you precise units. I can sell you a box of buckshot, which is 20 shells. But not 22 precisely. That'd leave me with an incomplete box which I can't sell. [16:19] <+Jonah> But you sell FRAG-12 in sets of - I don't care anymore. [16:19] <+Jonah> Yes, a box of buckshot, please. [16:20] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] To tell you the truth, I have five boxes of three shells. So in theory I can sell you fifteen, but... ...FRAG-12 is requested a lot lately. [16:21] <+Jonah> That's - well, I could totally go for 15 shells. [16:21] <+Jonah> I certainly have enough to pay for it, if that's the issue. [16:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Oh! Then it's all right. I thought the price would put you off. [16:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] SO. 20 shells of buck, 15 shell of FRAG... Anything else you want? [16:23] <+Jonah> Nope, that's about it. [16:24] <&Hebizuka> *Moved: Micro UZI // Pack => Equipped (TW).* [16:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Okay, but that's a shame. I had a lot of great gear. But I guess you're already pretty specialized. May I still interest you in the shotgun I do have for sale? [16:28] <+Jonah> Well, I'll take a look, but as you can see I already have the two. [16:29] <&Hebizuka> *The firearms dealer opens his catalog of the day, and shows you.* [16:29] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Remington 870 MCS shotgun | 12 gauge - Pump-action | Rail, Rail | Internal tube, 7 rounds, +1 | Weight: 22 [16:30] <+Jonah> Ahahahaha. It's the one I used to have! [16:30] <+Jonah> It's a good gun - you'll find a buyer super-quick with one of those beauties. [16:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I don't doubt it. It's the version with tactical rails. [16:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Any combat shotgunner wants some of these. [16:31] <+Jonah> I'll be sticking with what I have, though. [16:32] <+Jonah> So - 20 shells of buck, 15 shells of FRAG. How much is that, total? [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Sure thing. It's okay, really. [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> =Buying= [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> 12 gauge, FRAG-12, x15 - 255 P$ [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> 12 gauge, Buckshot, x20 - 40 P$ [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> TOTAL: 295 P$ (substracted from temporary credit) [16:32] <~SU_Tempest> *Confirm?* [16:33] <+Jonah> *Confirm!* [16:35] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] 12 gauge, buckshot, 20 rounds - weight 1 [16:35] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] 12 gauge, FRAG-12, 15 rounds - weight 0.75 [16:35] <&Hebizuka> *559 P$ remaining on the table.* [16:36] * +Jonah quickly scoops all the ammunition into her backpack! [16:37] <+Jonah> I don't suppose I could keep this 559 P$ as credit? [16:37] <+Jonah> Because I'm a bit tight for money space. [16:37] <&Hebizuka> *Total carried: 26x 12g buckshot in backpack, 18x 12g FRAG-12 in backpack.* [16:37] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/Main inv) 54.77/60 [16:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Er credit? Sure. What's your name. [16:40] <+Jonah> Jonah. [16:40] <+Jonah> You'll take care of the paperwork, then? [16:41] <~SU_Tempest> *He pockets your cash, and adds 559 P$ to your gun shop credit.* [16:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I see you already have a credit, it's just empty. Here, now it's not anymore, haha! [16:42] <+Jonah> And that takes care of that! [16:42] <+Jonah> It's been a pleasure doing business with ya. [16:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Hey, before ya go. [16:43] * +Jonah takes a moment, just sits right there. And re - oh? [16:43] <+Jonah> Sure, what do you need? [16:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] I'm just curious. That AA-12 of yours. What's it loaded with? [16:43] <+Jonah> 5 Buckshot, 5 Flachette, then 10 more buckshot. [16:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Whoa. Brutal. And you even have the choke, huh. [16:44] <+Jonah> And I'm about to reload the smaller one with Frag-12. [16:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] Keep doing what you do, missus. It's awesome. [16:44] <+Jonah> A girl's gotta take care of herself in these dangerous times! [16:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Dealer] You got that right! Stay safe. [16:44] <&Hebizuka> *Three doors ahead, next special room at the 160th.* [16:45] * +Jonah takes a moment, just sits right there, and takes out all the buckshot in her secondary shotgun and - replaces it with FRAG-12. [16:46] <&Hebizuka> [Reload] Armsel Protecta: Unloaded 12x Buck, loaded 12x FRAG-12. [16:46] <&Hebizuka> *12 gauge buckshot in backpack: 38. 12 gauge FRAG-12 in backpack: 6.* [16:46] <+Jonah> Oh baby~ [16:46] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [16:46] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2773 - Front door: 4608 - Right door: 4323 - Roomstyle: 378 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [16:46] <+Jonah> Front door! [16:53] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room with an abandoned newspaper on the floor. There appears to be nobody else.* [16:53] <+Jonah> A - nespaper? [16:54] <+Jonah> Huh. What's the date? [16:54] <+Jonah> And what's the Headline story? [16:56] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] Human News Network paper edition - Year B7-704, Issue 146. Headlines: CRIME IS ON THE RISE! [16:56] <&Hebizuka> *Read?* [16:57] <+Jonah> ...And nope, I have no idea what day it is. [16:57] <+Jonah> It's useless to me. [16:57] * +Jonah reads through it anyways, because why not? [17:00] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] Crime is definitely on the rise these days, as the police reports a noted increase in every major area, from the petty to the most serious. Theft, robbery, burglary, murder, extortion, racket, and so on; all saw a sharp rise over the last few months. *read more?* [17:01] <+Jonah> *Yeah, it's not costing me too much time.* [17:04] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] The police has established that organized groups are to blame for the recent increase in criminal activity. Though no known youkai group has been established to have turned purely to crime, three major criminal groups have been established. [17:05] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] The Yatela family, specializing in extortion, racket, and is believed to have several legal fronts in the form of pornography businesses, led by Michael Yatela, and his four brothers. [17:05] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] The Loggia family, specialized in contract killing, valuables and rare goods trade, and is believed to control certain archeological rings, led by Mariano Loggia, AKA "Marcy". [17:07] <&Hebizuka> [Newspaper] The Grand Larceny Brotherhood (GLB), masters of theft and bank robberies and rumored to own multiple stockpiles and black market rings, popularly depicted as being "good will thieves" who redistribute or sell to the less fortunate. Nothing is known about their leaders or members, other than they all refer to each other as "Brother" or "Sister" and wear specific attire. [17:07] <&Hebizuka> *The article shows several pictures; most notably mugshots of Michael Yatela and "Marcy" Loggia.* [17:08] <+Jonah> ...Welp. And with my luck I'll run into all three. [17:08] <+Jonah> Certain archeological rings... ugh. McBride's gonna turn out to be a bad dude, I know it. [17:08] * +Jonah tosses the newspaper, and keeps on going through... [17:08] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [17:08] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 3463 - Front door: 2307 - Right door: 463 - Roomstyle: 171 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [17:09] <+Jonah> The front door, I suppose. [17:10] <&Hebizuka> *A corridor, with five doors (!mrooms5). You spot a youkai there, which appears to be a tanuki! The tanuki appears unarmed, and is dragging a bottle of what you presume is alcohol.* [17:10] <+Jonah> *Male or female?* [17:10] <+Jonah> *Or, well, Cross male/female.* [17:10] <&Hebizuka> *Female, from what it looks like.* [17:12] <+Jonah> *Oh, ~rad~* [17:12] <+Jonah> Hey there, Miss! Fancy a drink? [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] I got my own already, human! But thanks! [17:14] <~SU_Tempest> *She seems very cheery.* [17:15] <+Jonah> Then, need a drinking partner~? [17:15] <+Jonah> I got some brandy, we could swap drinks and tales! [17:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] Aww yessss. A drinker! [17:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] You ain't like those pinched-ass Soldiers! Oh, oh, oh wait, you ain't a soldier! Right? [17:16] <+Jonah> Nope! Just a regular human girl! [17:16] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] Awesoooome. Siddown here then! [17:16] <~SU_Tempest> *The tanuki brutally plops her rear on the floor, you thought she was about to smash her own bottle along the way - but it remains a bare inch above the floor.* [17:17] * +Jonah sits her fine bottom down next to the tanuki, though unfortunately her own ass doesn't make as fine of a meaty smack with the tile. But now that she's closer, it's time to get a better look at her ~drinking partner~ [17:19] <&Hebizuka> *A young adult, average height, female tanuki. She has short, brown hair, a pair of brown eyes, and a large fluffy raccoon tail growing out of her small of the back.* [17:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] So, what's yer name, you fine drinkah? [17:21] <+Jonah> Jonah here, at your service. And yourself, Fluffy Miss? [17:22] * +Jonah waves her hand over the Tanuki's bottle discreetly, trying to trigger her item scanner aug on the mysterious booze! [17:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] Ayako Makino. Proud sixth generation youkai, compulsive drinkah, overall badass. [17:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Tanuki] Well. I'd be badass if I wasn't drinkin'. [17:23] <+Jonah> Nothing wrong with a bit of moonshine! Or vodka. Or sake. [17:23] <&Hebizuka> *The ICIS identifies Ayako's drink.* [17:23] <+Jonah> Or - well, what /do/ you have in there? [17:23] <&Hebizuka> [Food] Beverage - Bottle of vodka. 4d7 - Inebriation +7d6/portion [17:25] <+Jonah> Oooh, vodka it is! That's good stuff. [17:26] * +Jonah pulls out her own bottle of brandy, enjoying the fiery scent as she... uncorks it? Loosens the cap? [17:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I get whatever the hell I can lay mah hands on really... Alcohol's not cheap, yanno. Yeaaah, ya could say I'm kind of a thief. Delis don't like mah face, for sure. [17:26] <&Hebizuka> *Loosens the cap.* [17:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] What's that then? Izzat brandy? I freakin love brandy. Brandy be good, supported me when my husband got killed. [17:27] * +Jonah grins, clinking her own bottle against Ayako's. "Yup, it's brandy. It got me through some rough times too, like the time I woke up with a dick." [17:27] <+Jonah> "Here, drink, drink!" [17:28] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Woah nelly. Ya were drunk when ya asked the medic for a sex change? I guess it's pretty stupid the things ya do when ya're drunk. Yup. Pretty stupid. But it beats bein' sad. [17:29] <~SU_Tempest> *She passes you her bottle of vodka, trading it for your brandy, then downs one portion of the brandy.* [17:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ohhh yesssss. That's the stuff. [17:29] * +Jonah gulps down a portion of vodka, hissing as the alcohol burns her throat. [17:30] <&Hebizuka> *It pains your stomach a bit, for it's already pretty stuffed. The alcohol does its job, and you're already starting to feel the buzz.* [17:31] <+Jonah> Sssssssha, this is...eheheheehe. [17:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] So, mizz Jonah. Yer covered in guns. Whatchu are if you ain't no soldier? [17:31] * +Jonah has to lean on Ayako for support, resting her head on the Tanuki's shoulder. [17:31] <+Jonah> I'mma, a Paladin! [17:32] <+Jonah> going around, FIGHTAN EVIL, RESCUING MAIDENS. [17:32] <+Jonah> BANGAN MAIDENS. [17:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Aww, it's okay, rest yer head. A paladin ya say? So yer what, an adventurer? [17:32] <+Jonah> Yuuuuuuuup! It's super great! [17:32] <+Jonah> Super scary, but. Great! [17:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Oooo, I can't remember the last time I banged someone. Guess no-one wants mah pretty face anymore. Must be great to live like dat, hunh? [17:33] <+Jonah> How'z about you, Ayako? Make a living with sticky hands? [17:33] <+Jonah> No, no, don't say that! I want your pretty face! [17:33] <+Jonah> And pretty tail. So soft, and fluffy, and... and WARM. [17:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Me? I live like I can... It ain't easy. I do jobs here and dere and- woah woah, mind de tail, sugar. It's fluffy but it's mine. [17:33] <+Jonah> Awwwww. Just a little touch? [17:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Fiiine. But lemme have yer brandy some moar. [17:35] * +Jonah hands the bottle over again, and takes a portion of the vodka in REVENGE before fondling the Tanuki's tail. [17:35] <+Jonah> And.. and base of the tail. And /butt./ Hehehehe. [17:35] <&Hebizuka> *1 portion left in your bottle of brandy.* [17:36] <&Hebizuka> *The tanuki appears to already be horribly drunk.* [17:36] <+Jonah> Hey. Heeeey, Ayako. [17:36] <+Jonah> Do you do... /mushrooms?/ [17:36] <&Hebizuka> *You're now drunk.* [17:37] <+Jonah> Heeeeeee. [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] *hic* Shrooms? [17:37] <+Jonah> Shrooms! [17:37] <+Jonah> I got one that makes you see WEIRD STUFF. [17:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] *hic* Ain't dat hakutaku shtuff? Dun do dat often... [17:37] <+Jonah> And one that's yummy. [17:37] <+Jonah> And one that helps people bang! [17:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Oo, gimme dat. [17:38] <&Hebizuka> *Which one are you showing her?* [17:38] * +Jonah drunkenly, deliriously reaches for her vest pocket to pull out the libido mushroom! [17:38] <+Jonah> Let's. [17:38] <+Jonah> Let's cut it up. [17:38] <+Jonah> And put it in the vodka. [17:38] <+Jonah> And DRINK IT. [17:38] <+Jonah> AND BANG. [17:38] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako snatches the shroom from your hands, and munches on it immediately.* [17:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I got dibs! I ain't got any in ... too long! [17:39] <+Jonah> Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. [17:39] <~SU_Tempest> *The tanuki swallows the mushroom... then seems to freeze for a second.* [17:39] <+Jonah> Hay, hay, save some for me! [17:40] * +Jonah , completely oblivious to Ayako's reaction, pulls the older woman in for a kiss to STEAL BACK some of the mushroom from her mouth. [17:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Oh. Oh shit, oh shit Nelly, I, I, I *hic* I feel so frickin HORNY and -mmrf! [17:41] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako blinks several times, glaring at you like you've turned into an alien, drunk/horny/astonished expression on the face.* [17:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Uh, uh, uh... uh... *hic* Whaddya just do, human girl? Yer crazy, ya can't possibly want me. Ah's just a horny drunkard tanuki piece a' shit. [17:42] <+Jonah> I, I I I. [17:42] <+Jonah> I kissed you! [17:42] <+Jonah> 'Cause you're /hot./ [17:42] <~SU_Tempest> *Unfortunately the effects of the mushroom solely affect Ayako. And not you.* [17:42] <+Jonah> And you're lonely. [17:42] <+Jonah> And I'm lonely. [17:42] <+Jonah> And we can be lonely together! [17:42] <~SU_Tempest> *Any arousal you might be getting is pure conjecture. Your Libido is not increasing. You're just drunk.* [17:42] <+Jonah> And I like girls who are good with their hands! [17:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Shiieet... Have a drink, missus. I ain't drunk enough for dis shit. [17:43] * +Jonah gulps down a third portion of the vodka, and hands the last of the brandy to Ayako! [17:44] <+Jonah> It's okay, /super/ okay. Just relax and let tha human gal rock you~ [17:44] <&Hebizuka> *You're now heavily drunk. Your vision is blurry.* [17:45] <+Jonah> Juss. Juss don't go if you wake up first 'kay [17:45] <+Jonah> I wanna talk too. [17:45] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako takes your bottle of brandy, drinks the last portion inside, then smashes the bottle on the floor.* [17:45] <+Jonah> OH GOD NO HAVING SEX ON TOP OF THE GLASS. [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *There's amusingly not even any shards. The bottle broke clean into three pieces.* [17:46] * +Jonah paws at Ayako, sluggishly pulling her away from those GIANT SCARY PIECES OF GLASS. [17:46] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako drunkenly sweeps the floor and sends the pieces flying on the other side of the corridor. She appears not to see you very clearly.* [17:46] <+Jonah> Oh [17:47] <+Jonah> Okay [17:47] <+Jonah> Ayako [17:47] <+Jonah> You - you okay? [17:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] hey mizz *hic* I c-can't see you clearly no more... I'm d-drunk an' horneh. You's gunna rape me?... heeheehee... always end up screwed up somewhere. Go ahead human g*hic*! Do whatchu wanna do, I dun care. [17:48] <+Jonah> Nghhh... no. No, no rape. [17:48] <+Jonah> Rape... rape is bad. [17:48] <~SU_Tempest> *The tanuki slumps over to you and crashes her face right into your lap, her hands trying to grasp onto something over your chest.* [17:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] *Hic!* R-really I dun care, I's good for drinkin' and gettin' fucked and stealin'. Ah'm a worse girl den you Nelly. [17:49] <~SU_Tempest> *It's like she's trying to climb onto your lap, but fails miserably.* [17:50] * +Jonah groans at the sudden pressure and warmth, but her Paladin training is managing to keep her mind clear - if only just. [17:50] <+Jonah> Noooo, nooo. Talk to mama Jonah. Who fucking you over? [17:50] <~SU_Tempest> *Your mind is, by any definition, not clear. You're heavily drunk and an even more drunk tanuki is trying to convince you to hump her.* [17:50] <+Jonah> Mama Jonah whack 'em, whack 'em HARD. [17:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Everyone's always fuckin' Ayako.. I's good only for dat, since *hic* hubby got shot ah dun have anythin' no more. No house, no gear, no *hic* money, just mah pretty face to stuff fulla booze... [17:51] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Life's gud when yer drunk! *hic* [17:52] <+Jonah> Life's gud when yer drunk, thaz' right. [17:52] <+Jonah> But even better? Being drunk WIT FRIENDS. [17:52] <~SU_Tempest> *She manages to crawl so that her rear is now sitting on your lap, her facing you, her legs around your waist, but she looks as if she's going to fall rearwards anytime.* [17:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ah ain't got no frenz... Friendz... Dey never be friendz, dey be like you, givin me drinks, cuz ahm a drunkard, den they fuck me or dey steal mah booze, leavin' me behind. So I gotta get more booze, yanno?... [17:53] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ah dunno wat's a fren no moar, ah just want booze... an' gettin fucked, cuz it's all ah'm good at. [17:53] * +Jonah drops the vodka bottle to the floor, only a distant part of her mind hoping it doesn't spill the last bit. The rest of her is more focused on the warm, squishy Tanuki in her lap. [17:54] <+Jonah> Noooooo. Thaz' not true. Your hubby loves you. Loves you lots. [17:54] <+Jonah> We canz bring him back, like I do for my wifey! [17:55] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Hubby ain't a good lover... All he had was his dick... and booze. Hubby, all he was gud at was gettin' problems, that why he dead... Ah'm glad he dead, but ah'm alone nooow... *hic* [17:55] <+Jonah> Then I BE YOUR NEW HUBBY. [17:55] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako grabs her bottle of vodka again.* [17:56] <+Jonah> I give you, you love and gear and home. [17:56] <+Jonah> Lots of home! [17:56] <+Jonah> SO MUCH HOME. [17:56] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Dun be silly, you's a guuurl... *hic* ya can't be mah hubby. All I's gunna do is drunk dis. [17:56] <+Jonah> I can be your hubby, 'cause I gots a, a dick! [17:57] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] *Hic* Den fug me silleh, Nelleeeh... I's gunna pass ouuut. [17:57] <~SU_Tempest> *She lifts the bottle of vodka to her lips, drinks the last portion, and...* [17:57] <+Jonah> Okies, I, I won't. [17:58] <~SU_Tempest> *...Suddenly, Ayako stands up, her face turning green from sudden sickness. In a ray of decency for you, she turns... then hurls all over the place just to avoid getting some on you.* [17:58] <~SU_Tempest> *Then the tanuki loses consciousness, and crashes, almost hilariously, square on so that her head lands in your lap.* [17:59] <+Jonah> Ewwwww, gross. Barf on my cock [17:59] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Blergh. *Eyes turn inwards.* [18:00] * +Jonah groans, before reaching on the tanuki's clothing and pulling them far far away from the yucky scent. [18:00] <+Jonah> I. I stays here 'tll you wake up. [18:00] <+Jonah> Then we hug and kiss and be BEST FRIENDS. [18:01] <+Jonah> *Stay around for 10 turns, please?* [18:01] <~SU_Tempest> *You will need to perform Waiting, and there is no guarantee it'll be 10 turns.* [18:02] <&Hebizuka> *Roll a 2d6 to perform Waiting.* [18:03] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:03] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9 [18:03] <&Hebizuka> *5 turns pass...* [18:03] <&Hebizuka> *You're still so heavily inebriated your vision is trouble.* [18:03] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako still hasn't woken up.* [18:03] <&Hebizuka> *And someone has entered the room.* [18:03] * +Jonah drunkenly pets Ayako's hair and ears and tail, hazily undoing any tangles and knots she comes across. [18:03] <+Jonah> Heewyuh? [18:03] <+Jonah> Who's - who's there? [18:04] <&Hebizuka> *You can't see clearly what this person looks like, but they look human and seem armed, but you can't be sure what with.* [18:04] <~SU_Tempest> [???] Whoa, fuck. It reeks of vomit. What happened here... [18:05] <+Jonah> Hiyo Gozaimasu! [18:05] <+Jonah> We's. We's get drunk. [18:05] <~SU_Tempest> [???] What? [18:05] <+Jonah> Then talk lots. [18:05] <+Jonah> then she get sick. [18:05] <~SU_Tempest> [???] Oh, man... That explains the broken glass... [18:05] <+Jonah> Then I wait! [18:05] <~SU_Tempest> [???] She okay? You two need help? [18:05] <+Jonah> Yes yes. Sorry, I pikc up when less, uh. [18:05] <+Jonah> Smashed. [18:05] <+Jonah> Well. Tanuki gonna be hungry when she wake up. [18:06] <+Jonah> A little food to help hangover is good. [18:06] <+Jonah> I, uh - I pay you? [18:06] <~SU_Tempest> *The unknown person walks towards you. You hear Ayako snore.* [18:06] <~SU_Tempest> *They kneel next to you, apparently bemused by the situation.* [18:06] * +Jonah keeps turning her head this way and that, her vision is so blurry. [18:06] <~SU_Tempest> [???] Hey, you're human, right? [18:07] <+Jonah> Yessuh! [18:07] <+Jonah> Dragon for family, but adopted! [18:07] <+Jonah> My blood is red~ [18:08] <~SU_Tempest> [???] I'm sorry, I don't have anything to eat on myself... I'd have shared gladly. What's your name? [18:08] <+Jonah> Juh. Juh. [18:08] <+Jonah> Ayako! [18:08] <~SU_Tempest> *You can make out the person's voice is male.* [18:08] <~SU_Tempest> *Or masculine-sounding. You're not sure.* [18:09] <+Jonah> Friend is, A, A... Friend is A Jenny! [18:09] <+Jonah> Yes. [18:09] <~SU_Tempest> [???] Ayako? Is that your name? My name's Jackie, but people call me Raider. Pleased to meet you. [18:09] <+Jonah> OH GOD NO. [18:09] <+Jonah> DON'T RAID US. [18:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Oh, no, no no no. No. I won't raid you! Don't be scared. I'm not a bad guy, okay? It's just my nickname. I'm a mercenary. [18:10] <+Jonah> WE'LL DO ANYTHING. THE COCKS THAT I CAN SUCK SIR ARE MANY AND VARIED. [18:10] <+Jonah> Oh. [18:10] <+Jonah> Okay. [18:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Whoa, whoa, easy! [18:10] <+Jonah> That's - that's good. [18:10] <+Jonah> Whatcha - whatcha gonna mercenary for? [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I don't have any employer, or job, right now... I don't mind staying with you if you want. [18:11] <+Jonah> Think. Think we need bodyguard for hangover day? [18:11] <+Jonah> Oooh. [18:11] <+Jonah> This is good. [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You and your friend look like they need help... [18:11] <+Jonah> How much you asking for? [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] N-nothing, nothing. I don't mind sticking with you. We'll talk business when you feel better, okay? [18:11] <+Jonah> Eheh. [18:11] <+Jonah> Ehehehee. [18:11] <+Jonah> YOU SIR. [18:11] <+Jonah> HAVE EARNED A TIP. [18:11] <+Jonah> AND A LETTER OF RECCOMENDATION. [18:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] No, nono. No tip. I don't mind. [18:12] <+Jonah> That's. [18:12] <+Jonah> Thank you. [18:12] <+Jonah> Paladin material right there. [18:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] When'd she pass out? [18:12] <+Jonah> Yup yup. [18:12] <+Jonah> Uh. [18:12] <+Jonah> A.. a while ago? [18:12] <+Jonah> She should wake soon I think. [18:12] <+Jonah> I hope. [18:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Then I'll wait. [18:12] <+Jonah> Oh god she didn't choke on her own vomit and die did she. [18:13] <+Jonah> Jenny! JENNY. [18:13] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider understandingly checks "Jenny's" pulse.* [18:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Oh, no. She's alive. She's snoring like a baby. [18:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] She is smelly, but she's alive. [18:13] <+Jonah> Yaaaaaaay. [18:13] <&Hebizuka> *Wait once more?* [18:14] <+Jonah> Thank you Raider the Jackie! [18:14] <+Jonah> *Wait once more!* [18:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Just call me Raider. [18:14] <&Hebizuka> *Roll another 2d6.* [18:14] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [18:14] <MazeBot> Jonah: 3 [18:14] <+Jonah> Ray-dar. [18:14] <~SU_Tempest> *The mercenary sits down next to you, shifting his rifle out of the way and smiling at you.* [18:14] <+Jonah> I, sirrah. [18:15] <+Jonah> Have a penis. [18:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] And? Me too. [18:15] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] *Chuckles, amused.* I don't hate you for it. [18:15] <&Hebizuka> *Five more turns pass...* [18:15] <+Jonah> Juzz don't wanna surprise you if you turn into a DASTARDLY VILLAIN. [18:15] <+Jonah> Importance to be courtesans, momma always said. [18:16] <&Hebizuka> *Raider chuckles, doesn't reply.* [18:16] <&Hebizuka> *Time passes.* [18:16] <&Hebizuka> *"Jenny", or rather, the real Ayako, slowly wakes up.* [18:16] <+Jonah> Jenny! [18:16] <+Jonah> JENNY. [18:16] <+Jonah> LOOK [18:16] <+Jonah> NO RAPE [18:16] <+Jonah> I AM THE BEST [18:16] <+Jonah> AROUND [18:16] <&Hebizuka> *She is under the full effects of a hangover: feeling weak, and tired.* [18:16] <+Jonah> NOTHING'S EVER GONNA BRING US DOWN. [18:17] * +Jonah pulls her in the warmest, softest drunkenest hug she has ever felt. [18:17] <+Jonah> Feel the love Jenny. /Feel it./ [18:17] <&Hebizuka> *Your mind has cleared a bit in the meantime. You're still drunk, but a bit less. Your vision has improved a bit, enough to be able to more or less make out again the Tanuki's shapes and appearance, and in turn, to observe better what Raider looks like.* [18:18] <&Hebizuka> *Raider seems pleased to see that she's alive and well.* [18:18] <+Jonah> What does our interroomial man of mystery look like, narrates Jonah as she turns to look at said interrromial man of mystery. [18:20] <&Hebizuka> *An old, pale-white skinned male. He is very tall, thin, has short brown hair, a pair of gray eyes, wears no accessory, and has a big, cool-looking scar across the left eye. He gives off the impression of a grisly, experienced battlefield veteran.* [18:20] <&Hebizuka> *Which comes in stark contrast with his compassionate smile.* [18:20] <+Jonah> You. [18:20] <+Jonah> Are a handsome man. [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] hooo shiiit... what the fuck did I do... [18:21] <+Jonah> If I wasn't gay I'd be straight for you. [18:21] <+Jonah> Hiya, Jenny! [18:21] * +Jonah nuzzles her drunken face against the Tanuki's neck. [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako is completely unaware of your presence or even Raider's, and the first thing she does is lift her skirt and check her crotch. Which completely baffles the mercenary.* [18:21] <+Jonah> We got drunk. [18:21] <+Jonah> We didn't have sex. [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Oh, maaan... Did I get drunk, and horny ag- OH GOD YOU ARE STILL THERE? [18:21] <+Jonah> It was SUPER GREAT. [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] AND WHO'S THAT HUMAN [18:21] <+Jonah> Hiya! [18:21] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] YOU TWO ARE SCARY OH GOD [18:21] <+Jonah> NO HE'S OKAY. [18:22] <+Jonah> NO NO DON'T RUN AWAY. [18:22] <~SU_Tempest> *The tanuki hurriedly stands up and cowers in the other side of the corridor, cowering in fear.* [18:22] <+Jonah> Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. [18:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Y-y-you didn't hurt me? You didn't rape me? You stayed by my side the whole time?... [18:22] * +Jonah slaps herself a few times to try desperately to wake the fuck up. [18:22] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] B-but who's he? Who's that dude? He looks like a soldier... [18:22] <+Jonah> No hurt, no rape. [18:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I'm a merc, not a Soldier. And I mean you two no harm. [18:23] <+Jonah> I hired him pro bono because I was SUPER DRUNK and you were passed out. [18:23] <+Jonah> And shotguns would have woken you up. [18:23] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] A-and my name is Ayako! And you're... Jenner? Jenny? Johnny? I forget... [18:23] <+Jonah> Jonah! [18:23] <+Jonah> Jonah the Paladin! [18:23] <+Jonah> SLAYER OF EVIL. [18:23] <+Jonah> LAYER OF CONSENTING MAIDENS. [18:24] <+Jonah> CONSENTING. [18:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Right... Right, the Jonah thing. Right. Okay. Okay. I remember now. I met you, we did shrooms, we got drunk, I nearly hurled on you and I passed out. WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL SO HORNY HOLY SHIT I WANT TO FUCK SOMETHING. [18:24] <+Jonah> YOU DID NOT CONSENT. So I didn't lay you. [18:24] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider's face is tomato red.* [18:24] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Erm. Ladies? Can we... Calm down a second? [18:24] <+Jonah> The shrooms we did were SEX SHROOMS. [18:25] <+Jonah> And - uh. I. I can try? [18:25] <+Jonah> But Ayako needs release. [18:25] <+Jonah> So, uh. [18:25] <+Jonah> Masturbation, me, or him? [18:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Er, er. Um. If you want me to leave you two alone, I can... [18:25] <+Jonah> ...Or both but I'm not sure how that'd work. [18:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Can we just change the topic? Please? It's... A bit embarrassing. I can step out if you want me to. [18:25] <+Jonah> It's - OKAY. [18:25] <+Jonah> TOPIC CHANGED. [18:26] * +Jonah drunkenly pulls out 200 P$ and flings it over at the Raider. [18:26] <+Jonah> ENJOY. [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako isn't needing your help, she already is lifting her skirt, pulling down her underwear, and vigorously fingering herself in plain sight.* [18:26] <+Jonah> The tip. [18:26] <+Jonah> ...Oh my god Ayako. [18:26] <+Jonah> SHAKE THOSE HIPS GIRL. [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Oh, oh, oh! OH! I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I NEED THIS TOO MUCH IT'S MY FAULT OHHH. [18:26] <+Jonah> ALSO RAIDER IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS BUSINESS PLEASE EITHER HELP OR WAIT WHILE LOOKING AT THE CORNER. [18:26] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider finds nothing better but to double-facepalm, covering his face and muttering something like "What did I get myself into?"* [18:27] * +Jonah staggers herself over to Ayako, stopping just a few steps away from the horny and breathless Tanuki. [18:27] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Um, okay, let's just -- [18:27] <+Jonah> If fingers aren't enough I can help. I mean this sincerely. [18:28] <+Jonah> Because /my/ fingers are SO GOOD. [18:28] <&Hebizuka> *The tanuki screams in pleasure, and you watch the most powerful squirting you've ever seen. From ACROSS THE ROOM, Ayako managed to drench Raider's face. And both your clothes.* [18:28] <+Jonah> Oh my god. [18:28] <&Hebizuka> *The overly horny tanuki sighs, with a stupidly satisfied expression, and slumps on the floor afterwards. Raider's face is absolutely priceless.* [18:28] <+Jonah> Yes. YESSSS. [18:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] ................ [18:30] * +Jonah giggles deliriously, rubbing the sweet sweet nectar into her clothes and all over her body. She even brings up as much as she can to drink up, smacking her lips WANTONLY as she works herself over. [18:30] <+Jonah> Oh. [18:30] <+Jonah> Eheh. [18:30] <+Jonah> EHehehehee. [18:30] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider yanks you to the other side of the room.* [18:30] <+Jonah> Sorry, Rai - Oh, ahhhhhhh!? [18:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider]AHEM. [18:30] <+Jonah> Hello! [18:30] <+Jonah> Do I need to pay for water damages? [18:30] <+Jonah> I need to pay for water damages don't I. [18:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Okay, let's talk business now that this sexual escapade is over with... First. No, it's just stains, but let's just say that I'm used to BLOOD and SWEAT, not VAGINAL JUICES on my goddamn clothes. Second, take your money back. I don't take tips. And third, are you going to hire me, or not? [18:32] <+Jonah> Uh. [18:32] <+Jonah> What's your rate. [18:32] <+Jonah> 'Cause I need to know that before decisions are made. [18:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] 700 for 40 rooms. [18:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Less if you promise she won't be following us. [18:33] <+Jonah> Can I pay you again at the end of 40 rooms? [18:33] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Yes. We'll discuss that when my term is up. Or you can pay more in advance for a longer time. [18:33] <+Jonah> Can I pay you to watch over her, if she doesn't follow me? [18:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] *Glances at Ayako, who's too busy breathing heavily with her body spread on the floor, then back at you.* I don't want to be near her. Sex maniacs scare me. [18:34] <+Jonah> 1400 for 40 rooms if it's her instead of me. [18:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] No. [18:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] PLEASE. I'd rather follow you. You seem less crazy. [18:35] <+Jonah> Dang. Okay, I'll hire you if I manage to convince her to come with me. [18:35] <+Jonah> She needs /someone/ to watch her. [18:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Do we HAVE to?... [18:36] <+Jonah> We have to. It's what PALADINS DO, SQUIRE. [18:36] <+Jonah> TEN-HUT AND WHATNOT. [18:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Argh. I'm not your squire, I'm in it for the money and you're hiring me for my services. [18:36] * +Jonah does her most drunken salute before making the slow, slow walk back to Ayako. [18:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] But fine. If she's coming with us, however, I'm not going to protect her ass. YOU paid for me. [18:37] <+Jonah> Allllrighty. [18:37] <+Jonah> Ayako? Feeling better? [18:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Heeeeey... Jonaaaaah... I'm still turned ooon and shit, but I... I feel a bit better? ahaha... I'm hungry nooow... I still want to fuck something... [18:37] <+Jonah> I have a mushroom! [18:37] <+Jonah> A tasty one, totally legit! [18:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] P-please no more mushrooms. I mean real food! [18:38] <+Jonah> No side effects or anything. [18:38] <+Jonah> Oh. [18:38] <+Jonah> Sorry, uhm. [18:38] <+Jonah> How about we go find some food? [18:38] <+Jonah> No need to steal, my treat. [18:38] <+Jonah> You just stay with me and I protect you. [18:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Y-you wan' me to come wit you? Yanno it might happen again and shit, right?... [18:38] <+Jonah> It might! [18:38] <+Jonah> It might not. [18:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Okay. New condition. I'll come with both of you, I'll protect both of you for the standard rate of one person. On one condition. [18:39] * +Jonah plops her ass down on Ayako's waist, bending down and low to the Tanuki's ear. [18:39] <+Jonah> Oh. [18:39] <+Jonah> Yes? [18:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Miss fluff-tail here gives up alcohol, and any fucking happens outside of my vision and hearing range. Got it? [18:39] <+Jonah> Well! [18:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] W-wait... Wait, wait, I don't get it... I'm... I'm coming with you? [18:39] <+Jonah> Miss Fluff-tail! [18:39] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Imma be an adventurer and shit? [18:39] <+Jonah> Yes. [18:39] <+Jonah> Yes you are. [18:40] <+Jonah> YUP. [18:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] For real? [18:40] <+Jonah> TOTALLY. [18:40] <+Jonah> I even have EXTRA GEAR. [18:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I's gonna give up alcohol any time then! I dun give a shit bout drinkin if I's got support! [18:40] <+Jonah> HOORAY. [18:40] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ah'm in! [18:40] * +Jonah then proceeds to drunkenly kiss her. But just kissing. [18:41] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako pushes you away, and giggles as she watches you try to kiss her.* [18:41] <+Jonah> Awwwwwwwwwwwww. [18:41] <+Jonah> No one's ever crazy for the Big J. [18:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Yer too hasty! [18:41] <+Jonah> Early bird gets the worm~ [18:41] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Whozza worm? [18:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Worm yerself! *Pulls tongue at you, jokingly.* [18:42] * +Jonah struggles to her feet, and struggles even more to pull Ayako up. [18:42] <+Jonah> The worm's YOUR LOVE. [18:42] <+Jonah> Duh. [18:42] <+Jonah> Okay but seriously [18:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Okay, uh. Can we discuss my payment? I'd like a bank transfer if that's possible. [18:42] <+Jonah> Uh - do you have a phone? [18:42] <+Jonah> 'Cause my battery is, like, almost dead. [18:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I do. But I'd prefer you use your own. [18:42] <+Jonah> And I was gonna use it to find a restraunt. [18:43] <+Jonah> ...900 to use your phone insteaD? [18:43] <+Jonah> That's 900 total not 900 on top of. [18:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] No. Use your own. I keep mine if I need to call for emergencies, in case WE get in trouble later. [18:43] <+Jonah> You can DO THAT? [18:43] <+Jonah> That's awesome. [18:43] <+Jonah> Alright then. [18:43] <+Jonah> Uh. [18:43] <+Jonah> Fuck. [18:43] <+Jonah> How do I dial things. [18:44] * +Jonah hands the phone to Raider all willy-nilly like. [18:44] <+Jonah> Punch in the numbers for me and my lyrical voice will do the rest. [18:44] <~SU_Tempest> *Raider composes for you 5-PLR-BANK and hands your phone back.* [18:44] <+Jonah> Swank. [18:44] <+Jonah> Also I have NO IDEA why you think I'm the less crazy one. [18:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You're the least horny. [18:45] <+Jonah> /You/ are the least horny. I am moderately horny. [18:45] * +Jonah punches in the number. [18:45] <+Jonah> IGNORE MY LACK OF ERECTION THAT'S THE WHISKY DICK TALKING. [18:45] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] ...Hello, you have reached the online banking system. Please state your full name. [18:45] <~SU_Tempest> *Amusingly you are not erect.* [18:45] <+Jonah> Joan. [18:45] <+Jonah> Ah! Jonah! [18:46] <+Jonah> Joan-ah. [18:46] <+Jonah> Also why is this online banking if I am using a phone and am not online. [18:47] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] *Ding!* Welcome to the online banking system, Jonah. Your current bank account balance is 1147 P$. What do you wish to do today? [18:47] <+Jonah> 700 P$ to Jackie the Raider. [18:47] <+Jonah> A transfer please. [18:47] <+Jonah> Towards him not away from! [18:47] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] My full name is Jackie Mullen. [18:48] <+Jonah> What he said, Jackile Mullen the Raider, [18:48] <+Jonah> . [18:48] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] ... ... ...Please wait, we are processing your request. [18:49] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] Transfer complete. Bank account balance remaining is 447 P$. Do you need anything else? [18:49] <+Jonah> Where's the nearest restraunt? [18:49] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] Sorry, this request is invalid. [18:49] <+Jonah> Or Deli. TANUKI NEEDS FOOD BADLY. [18:49] <+Jonah> YOU SUCK. [18:49] * +Jonah angrily hangs up. [18:49] <&Hebizuka> *You're calling a bank!* [18:50] <&Hebizuka> [Phone] (Battery remaining: 2/6) [18:50] <+Jonah> THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT CONSCIENCE. [18:50] <+Jonah> 700 smackers. [18:50] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Okay. I'm joining you as well. [18:50] <+Jonah> Right in your bank hole. [18:50] <+Jonah> Hooray! [18:50] <&Hebizuka> *Raider and Ayako join you as allies!* [18:50] <&Hebizuka> *Please wait, creating their sheets.* [19:11] <&Hebizuka> *You notice that Raider is carrying an assault rifle with fancy accessories, as well as a handgun, two grenades, a knife and fingerless gloves, and that all of his clothes look brand new or otherwise well-kept, except for his kevlar vest; which appears worn, as if it had been through battles already.* [19:12] <+Jonah> *Also he's soaked with Ayako's scent because super squirting.* [19:12] <&Hebizuka> *That probably had the time to dry a bit by now.* [19:13] <+Jonah> *Still, he's super missing out~* [19:16] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako picks up the broken bottle again, and decides to wield that as a weapon for the time being.* [19:17] <&Hebizuka> *She pretends it's a sword, and plays with it, swishing the air while pretending to slay foes.* [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Take dat, an' dat! Ah'm an adventurer! [19:17] <+Jonah> Ahahaha. Uh, Ayako. [19:17] <+Jonah> I /think/ I have a better weapon for you. [19:17] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Huh? Yea, wot? [19:19] * +Jonah sits for just a moment to change her ammo /again, swapping the Frag-12 from the Protecta back for buckshot. [19:20] * +Jonah breathes heavily, before handing the tanuki both the Protecta and the Model 686. [19:20] <+Jonah> Here you go. Two well loved guns. [19:20] <+Jonah> It doesn't look like you can carry any ammo on you though, so just ask me if you need more. [19:20] <+Jonah> And, uhm. [19:21] <+Jonah> Until you're feeling less hung over, PLEASE leave the fighting to me and Raider, okay? [19:21] <+Jonah> Adventurers gotsta be careful. [19:29] <~SU_Tempest> *She pushes the shotgun back to you, but gladly takes your revolver.* [19:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Imma take that! [19:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I like dese. [19:29] <+Jonah> ...Welp. [19:29] <+Jonah> You sure, Ayako? You can have both! [19:30] <+Jonah> It makes you look SUPER COOL. [19:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Na. I don't like shotguns. But I like revolvers! Revolvers ARE cool incarnate. [19:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You like guns, Ayako? [19:31] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Damn right ah do. [19:31] <&Hebizuka> *If you don't mind, I didn't take in account the ammo swapping with the Protecta.* [19:31] <+Jonah> Heathens the lot of you. Boomsticks are the best! [19:31] <&Hebizuka> *I'm guessing you'll want to re-insert the FRAGs, so... I didn't change a thing.* [19:31] <&Hebizuka> *I'll pass the 686 to Ayako though.* [19:32] <+Jonah> *It's fine. I will stick with - yeah.* [19:32] <+Jonah> *Thank you kindly.* [19:32] <+Jonah> !mrooms5 [19:32] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Door A: 3095 - Door B: 2523 - Door C: 3049 - Door D: 2277 - Door E: 1263 - Roomstyle: 217 - Enemy strength: 5 /6 [19:32] <+Jonah> Everyone ready? [19:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Fug yea... My own gun! My first very own gun, since eighty years! Fuggin AWESOME. [19:34] <+Jonah> Raider? [19:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Roger, let's go. [19:35] <+Jonah> Charge through the front door! [19:36] <&Hebizuka> *You're still feeling a bit drunk, but hopefully that won't stop you.* [19:37] <&Hebizuka> *A regular, featureless room. A floating object is hovering in the middle of the room...* [19:37] <+Jonah> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [19:38] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako chuckles along, but Raider just looks puzzled.* [19:39] <+Jonah> Amulet of the Gods, come to MAMA. [19:39] * +Jonah rushes along, JUMPS IN THE AIR, AND STICKS HER HAND THROUGH THE AMULET [19:39] <+Jonah> WHILE EXPLOSIONS EXPLODE IN THE BACKGROUND [19:39] <+Jonah> OH YEAH. [19:39] <&Hebizuka> *You have found the Amulet of the West, which comes, explosion-less, wear itself around your neck.* [19:39] <+Jonah> Awwwww. [19:40] <&Hebizuka> *You feel much more resilient to damage, as if you could take a lot more hits in every area of your body.* [19:40] <&Hebizuka> *Each of your limbs' maximum HP has increased by 5.* [19:40] <+Jonah> Oh baby. [19:41] <+Jonah> How's THAT for Contesting, huh? [19:41] <+Jonah> Two amulets down! I'll have this Propehecy business done by dinner. [19:42] <&Hebizuka> *Two down, two to go!* [19:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Hold the freaking horses. An Amulet? The same Amulets as those of the Cardinal prophecy? [19:42] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Who the hell are you, Jonah? [19:43] <+Jonah> I'm Jonah. [19:43] <+Jonah> Paladin. [19:43] <+Jonah> Lady Lover. [19:43] <+Jonah> Contestant. [19:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Contestant, huh? Man... [19:43] <+Jonah> Chosen by the Gods themselves! [19:43] <+Jonah> Supposedly. [19:43] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I knew this wasn't just some crazy drunkards... [19:43] <+Jonah> Between you and me though, 'Contestant' is a /really/ bad title. [19:44] <+Jonah> It just feels so... gamey. [19:44] <+Jonah> Oh no, we're crazy drunkards too. [19:44] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Fuck, at least I agree with you on that first bit. But... Whatever. You're not just any employer right there. I just have the feeling I got myself into something huge. [19:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] If I had known, I'd have charged more money... [19:45] <+Jonah> Ahahahaha. Well, 39 more rooms, and you can head on your way. [19:45] <+Jonah> AND SPREAD STORIES OF MY GREATNESS. [19:45] <+Jonah> Ahahahahahah~ [19:45] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [19:45] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 671 - Front door: 5763 - Right door: 305 - Roomstyle: 518 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [19:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] No, it's fine... [19:45] <+Jonah> Charge the front door! [19:45] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Are we eating soon? [19:46] <+Jonah> As soon as we find food, Ayako. [19:46] <+Jonah> Or something to kill and eat! [19:47] <+Jonah> It will be SUPER DELICIOUS I PROMISE. [19:47] <&Hebizuka> *A TV room. You may check the television (@whatsonTV) if you'd like... Someone is already sitting there on the couch. It appears to be another youkai. Huge, muscular, mean-looking; it's a kishin, the so-called "oni gods". [19:48] <+Jonah> @whatsonTV [19:48] <MazeBot> [Documentary] Recreating Hell [19:49] <+Jonah> Hello, there! I don't suppose you have some food you don't mind selling? [19:49] <~SU_Tempest> *The kishin turns around. You're greeted with a stern face.* [19:49] <+Jonah> We are /starving/ and totally willing to part with huge bucks. [19:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Kishin] I don't have no food, sorry. [19:49] <+Jonah> Dang. [19:49] <~SU_Tempest> *Growling, grovelly voice.* [19:49] <+Jonah> My apologies. Enjoy your show, we'll be on our way. [19:49] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [19:49] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 5341 - Front door: 3526 - Right door: 3626 - Roomstyle: 498 - Enemy strength: 6 /6 [19:49] <~SU_Tempest> *He sloooowly turns his head back to the TV.* [19:50] * +Jonah whispers silently but frantically. "Go go go through the front door goooooo." [19:51] <&Hebizuka> *A military bedroom, used by Maze Soldiers as a residence area. This room has only one door (!mrooms1). There is a container here, but no key in sight. You also spot a strange weapon on the bed, which raises more questions...* [19:52] <+Jonah> Oh, hello there~ [19:52] <+Jonah> What kind of weapon do we have here? [19:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 5 Long: Bullwhip - Sharp. Weight: 9 [19:53] <+Jonah> ...WELL. [19:53] <+Jonah> Ayako~ [19:53] <+Jonah> Want to whip it good? [19:54] <+Jonah> *OH MY GOD McBride would LOVE THE FUCK out of this.* [19:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ah'm kinky but I ain't THAT kinky. [19:54] <+Jonah> Then I'll take it! [19:55] * +Jonah tosses the plank she's had since forever and equips the bullwhip. [19:55] <+Jonah> Oh baby. [19:56] <&Hebizuka> *Dropped: Plank.* [19:56] <&Hebizuka> *You have gained a new ability!* [19:56] <&Hebizuka> *You can disarm opponents when using the Bullwhip.* [19:57] <&Hebizuka> *Aim at your opponent's weapon instead of a body part, and attack normally to attempt disarming them.* [19:57] <+Jonah> Oh /baby./ [19:57] <+Jonah> Alright, then - let's check out the container. [19:59] <&Hebizuka> [Container] Frame: Wooden. Lock: Mechanical. Trapped: No. // Lock serial: 3970 [19:59] <&Hebizuka> *You don't have the correct key, but you do own a lockpicking kit, or you could brute-force it.* [19:59] <+Jonah> Alright, let's try it. [19:59] <+Jonah> Everyone, stand back! [19:59] <~SU_Tempest> *They do as ordered.* [20:00] <+Jonah> It's been a while since I tried to lockpick. [20:00] <+Jonah> Oh god I'm going to die. This thing is gonna be nothing but explosions. [20:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] You're going to break into the container? Isn't that not very paladin-like? [20:00] <+Jonah> I'm on a holy quest, Raider. This isn't stealing, it's /Commandeering./ [20:00] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] *Shrug.* I'm just the hired muscle. [20:01] <&Hebizuka> *You are about to attempt using your lockpicking kit. You must go past two stages in order to break the lock.* [20:02] <&Hebizuka> *First step. Roll a 2d6. If you score 6 or more, you pass this step and spend one turn. Otherwise, you waste a turn.* [20:04] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [20:04] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9 [20:05] <&Hebizuka> *Step 1 success! You manage to drive your tools inside the mechanical lock. You've got this, you've got this.. Just a few more.* [20:05] <&Hebizuka> *Step 2: You must roll a 2#2d6. Both rolls must be equal or superior to 7 in order to break the lock.* [20:06] <+Jonah> @roll 2#2d6 [20:06] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9;6 [20:06] <&Hebizuka> *Almost. You've wasted one turn.* [20:07] * +Jonah grumbles, trying to slip her pins into just the right spot... [20:07] <+Jonah> @roll 2#2d6 [20:07] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9;11 [20:07] <+Jonah> There we go~! [20:07] <&Hebizuka> *You successfully picked the lock! The contents of the container are yours to take...* [20:09] <+Jonah> Let's open you up, treasure chest of mine~ [20:11] <&Hebizuka> =Container contents= [20:11] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Colt AR-15A2 R6550 rifle | 5.56x45mm NATO - Semi-auto | No accessory | STANAG 20-round mag, +1 | Weight: 22 - [11+1/20, 12x Seg] - Cond: Fair / Clns: Clean [20:11] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 3 - Steyr TMP machine pistol | 9x19mm Parabellum - Semi/Full | Foregrip(I), Silencer | TMP 30-round mag, +1 | Weight: 5 - [28+1/30, 29x FMJ] - Cond: Fair / Clns: Seized up [20:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Interesting... [20:12] <+Jonah> Well. [20:13] <+Jonah> Not quite what I was hoping, but. Ayako, any of these interest you? [20:13] <+Jonah> If not, you can carry them to sell later! [20:13] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Ayako should take the rifle. I can share my magazines with her, they fit in this one too. [20:14] <~SU_Tempest> *Coincidentally, you also have compatible magazines. Ah, the happiness of standardization.* [20:14] <+Jonah> Ayako, come here! I have /guns/ for you~! [20:14] <~SU_Tempest> *Ayako comes closer.* [20:14] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] But it's not fooood... [20:15] * +Jonah takes the Steyr for herself, slipping it into her TW slot, before handing the Colt to Ayako. [20:15] <+Jonah> We'll get you food, Ayako. I promise. [20:15] <+Jonah> It will be /super delicious./ Just hold onto this for now, okay [20:15] <+Jonah> ? [20:15] <&Hebizuka> *Your TW slot is already occupied by the Micro UZI. You can however sling the TMP simply to your Class 3 slot. Do that?* [20:16] <+Jonah> *Yes. Yes, do that.* [20:17] <&Hebizuka> *Please wait a bit...* [20:19] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako happily takes the rifle.* [20:19] <+Jonah> Alrighty~ [20:19] <+Jonah> !mrooms1 [20:19] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Unique door: 6287 - Roomstyle: 45 - Enemy strength: 3 /6 [20:19] <+Jonah> Through the only door! [20:22] <&Hebizuka> *You drunkenly waddle inside a hiring bureau. There are cells, not unlike prison cells, on the left, and the hirer is working on the right.* [20:22] <+Jonah> Nope. [20:22] <+Jonah> !mrooms3 [20:22] <&Hebizuka> [ Jonah ] Left door: 2394 - Front door: 7217 - Right door: 1083 - Roomstyle: 126 - Enemy strength: 5 /6 [20:22] <+Jonah> Front door. [20:24] <&Hebizuka> *Next special room at the 168th.* [20:25] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I'd never forgive myself if you had found me in one of these... animal pens. [20:26] <+Jonah> I wouldn't have bothered with you if you had been found in one of these pens. [20:26] <+Jonah> Paladins don't engage in slavery. [20:26] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] We agree then. Those places fucking disgust me. But so many mercs don't hesitate to put themselves for sale in there just to get an employer more easily... [20:27] <&Hebizuka> *You find yourself in a shrine! And the shrine maiden is present as well!* [20:28] <+Jonah> I'm. [20:28] <+Jonah> I, uh. [20:28] <+Jonah> That's. [20:28] <+Jonah> Oh gods. [20:29] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] Ya okay, Jenny? [20:30] * +Jonah rushes to the shrine, and plops down a 800 P$, shoving it right down in them there donation box. [20:30] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Welcome to our n-... woah! [20:30] <+Jonah> Excuse me I'm sorry but I really need to pray - uhm, what else should I be offering besides money? [20:30] <&Hebizuka> *Total money carried remaining: 1379 P$ in pouch + 100 P$ in leg rig* [20:31] <~SU_Tempest> *The shrine maiden looks completely astonished, and you aren't sure if it's because of the money or the fact you cut her mid-sentence.* [20:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Wh-... Um.. Whoa. I was about to say, "our NEWLY OPENED shrine". I literally just arrived, and the shrine has been built two weeks ago. [20:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] So this job DOES pay! *Ahem.* Erm. Uh. You can uh, offer anything you like on the altar, such as a valuable item, or something that counts for you, if you need the Gods' help! [20:32] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Since you donated, I invite you to pray after your offering! [20:33] * +Jonah gulps, and reaches into her backpack to pull out a lock of hair, and a kinda-sorta battered gohei. [20:34] <+Jonah> Carolyn would kill me if I offered up Malika, so - I hope these will do. [20:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Wait! Wait! What are these?! [20:34] * +Jonah places the items on the altar. Gets down on her knees. And pr- [20:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] You're about to offer a sacred item! And whose hair does this belong to?! [20:34] <+Jonah> They belonged to another miko. [20:34] <+Jonah> Carolyn Knight. [20:34] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] W-what? [20:35] <+Jonah> She - she died, and I want the gods to tell me how to bring her back. [20:35] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] ...Oh, my poor lady. Was she a friend of yours?... [20:35] <+Jonah> I... these are important to me. They're important to her. [20:35] <+Jonah> So, so... [20:35] <+Jonah> Yeah. She was. [20:35] <+Jonah> She was... she was everything I couldn't be. [20:35] <+Jonah> I, uhm - is this blasphemous? [20:35] <+Jonah> Because if it is, I won't do it. [20:36] <+Jonah> But... if it isn't... please, let me. [20:36] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Listen... You can't offer a gohei to the Gods. If there's a way to bring her back, she might want to get it back. It is the symbol of her ability to ward evil. [20:36] <+Jonah> That's... okay, okay. [20:36] <+Jonah> Uhm - alright. Then, what else... [20:37] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Offer something related to a thing she liked! Maybe her service pistol if you still have it... Or something valuable she liked to hang onto. [20:37] * +Jonah takes back the gohei with a shudder, clutching it close to her chest, before reaching out and... [20:38] <+Jonah> Well. If there's a way to bring her back, I can't give up her gun. She loved the thing. [20:38] <+Jonah> So, uhm... Sorry, Carolyn. Don't think too badly of me. [20:38] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] Maybe, but sometimes, you need to sacrifice in order to get back. [20:38] <+Jonah> That's. Well, that's... [20:39] <+Jonah> Ahahahahaha. Ths is the kind of situation I'd pray to the gods for. [20:39] <+Jonah> Oh, Carolyn. Don't hate me for this. [20:39] <&Hebizuka> *Ayako and Raider glance at each other for a bit.* [20:40] * +Jonah pulls Malika from her backpack, giving the metal rose engraving a kiss, before undoing the magazine and leaving it on the altar. [20:40] <&Hebizuka> *Leave the rifle on the altar, or the magazine?* [20:40] <+Jonah> *The rifle.* [20:41] <&Hebizuka> *Hold on...* [20:41] <+Jonah> *The rifle, and the lock of hair.* [20:41] <&Hebizuka> *You obtained the following: [20:41] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: STANAG 20-round magazine. Size tier: Medium ; Weight: 1+0.2 (1.2) - [20/20, 20x FMJ] [20:42] <&Hebizuka> *Place it where? >Tacvest/Mags >Tacvest/General >Backpack/Main inv [20:42] <+Jonah> *Tacvest/Mags* [20:43] <&Hebizuka> *Done.* [20:43] <&Hebizuka> *The rifle bursts into flames! It promptly disappears afterwards, taken into another dimension!* [20:44] <+Jonah> OH JESUS FUCK [20:44] <&Hebizuka> *It appears the response from the Gods is relatively positive.* [20:45] <&Hebizuka> *Now is the time to make a prayer. Roll a 2d6.* [20:45] <+Jonah> @roll 2d6 [20:45] <MazeBot> Jonah: 9 [20:45] <&Hebizuka> *+2 bonus for donating. +1 bonus for offering. Total score: 12. Since you have donated to the shrine maiden, she also proceeds to bless you! Your vision sharpens!* [20:46] <+Jonah> *Cardinal Gods - please, tell me, show me. How do I get Carolyn back?* [20:46] <~SU_Tempest> *A blast of light comes out from the altar and blinds you!* [20:46] <+Jonah> OW JESUS FUCK! [20:46] <~SU_Tempest> *You hear multiple, joined voices speak to you!* [20:46] <~SU_Tempest> [Gods] JONAH, HEED OUR CALL! [20:47] <~SU_Tempest> *Only you can hear the voices, though.* [20:47] <+Jonah> I AM HEEDING THE HELL OUT OF YOU, GODS. [20:47] <~SU_Tempest> *The Gods' voice booms out again.* [20:47] <+Jonah> IT'S KINDA DISORIENTING TO BE FRANK. [20:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Gods] YOU WHO IS LOOKING TO BRING A DIVINE SERVANT BACK FROM THE DEAD, YOU WHOSE FAITH AND LOVE FOR YOUR FALLEN FRIEND IS UNWAVERING, YOU MUST FIRST RESTORE FAITH IN YOURSELF. YOU ARE NOT SUFFICIENTLY CONFIDENT. [20:48] <~SU_Tempest> [Gods] THERE IS A WAY TO BRING HER BACK AMONG THE LIVING. [20:48] <+Jonah> THAT'S. THAT IS HEARTENING TO HEAR, GODS. [20:49] <+Jonah> THANKS! ANY TIPS ON THE ACTUAL METHOD THEREOF? [20:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Gods] BUT IT MAY NOT HAPPEN, IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF YOUR OWN ABILITY! YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO OBTAIN DIVINE FAVOR AND BE GRANTED A WISH. [20:49] <~SU_Tempest> [Gods] IN ORDER TO HELP YOU, WE SHALL GRANT YOU A GIFT. USE IT WISELY! [20:49] <~SU_Tempest> *The flash of light, and the voices, cease altogether as suddenly as they appeared to you.* [20:50] <~SU_Tempest> *And something has appeared on the altar, in return!* [20:50] <+Jonah> YES I KINDA CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT - OH, HEY, THANKS. [20:50] <+Jonah> Oh gods my ears are bleeding. [20:50] <+Jonah> Blood. Pouring out of them. I am dyeing the shrine blood red with my blood. [20:51] <&Hebizuka> *You are not bleeding.* [20:51] <+Jonah> *BUT IT SURE FEELS LIKE IT.* [20:51] <&Hebizuka> *A large weapon case, platinum-colored, has appeared on the altar! Open it?* [20:52] <+Jonah> *...Yeeeeeees.* [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon] Class 1 - Custom Remington 700 sniper rifle named "Dragonbane" | .338 Lapua Magnum - Bolt-action | Rail, Rail | 700-338 5-round mag, +1 | Weight: 22 [4+1/5, 5x SAP] [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: 700-338 5-round magazine. Weight: 1+0.25 [5/5, 5x SAP] [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Magazine: 700-338 5-round magazine. Weight: 1+0.25 [5/5, 5x SAP] [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Ammunition] .338 Lapua Magnum, SAP, 60 rounds. Weight: 3 [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Scope: Sniper scope (10x) [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Bipod [20:52] <&Hebizuka> [Weapon accessory] Flashlight: Surefire M620 [Battery: 200/200] [20:52] <+Jonah> REMINGTON. [20:53] <+Jonah> MY OLD FRIEND. [20:53] <+Jonah> YOU'VE COME TO VISIT AGAIN. [20:53] <+Jonah> AHAHAHAHAAH~ [20:53] <&Hebizuka> *The custom R700 rifle is entirely silver in color; both stock and frame. It has a threaded barrel, is chambered in .338 Lapua Magnum, has been modified to accept magazines, and bears a set of RIS dual rails for attaching accessories.* [20:53] <&Hebizuka> *This is not a shotgun... But it's still pretty cool. And there's the word "DRAGONBANE" engraved in large serif letters on each side of the stock, in black.* [20:53] * +Jonah pauses, and stares at Dragonbane. [20:54] <+Jonah> Oooohhhhh that's certainly not foreboding at all. [20:54] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] Oh for all that is holy... literally. This. This weapon. This is literally a modern paladin's rifle. [20:54] <&Hebizuka> *The size tier of both custom magazines is Medium.* [20:54] <+Jonah> Allow me a moment's petulance because I am literally a child: Damn it, it's not a shotgun. [20:55] * +Jonah proceeds to hug Dragonbane CLOSE TO HER CHEST. [20:55] <+Jonah> Yes. Yes, this is good. I can /use/ you. [20:55] <+Jonah> I mean you're not a sword but Vladsbane was a pizza cutter so who cares, right? [20:57] * +Jonah attaches the flashlight and sniper scope onto Dragonbane, stowing the two magazines in the main pouches of her vest, and tossing the ammo and bipod into the backpack. [20:57] <+Jonah> And, well. I gotta at least give you a spin 'round the old block, so... [20:57] * +Jonah puts away the AA-12, and carries Dragonbane with both hands. [20:58] <&Hebizuka> *Adjusting, please wait.* [21:06] <&Hebizuka> *It appears your Tacvest/Mag pouches are full, all four magazine pockets are filled.* [21:06] <&Hebizuka> *You can save them in your backpack instead.* [21:07] <+Jonah> *That works.* [21:07] * +Jonah breathes like a new woman as she tosses her new gear into her backpack. [21:08] <&Hebizuka> *The bipod is compatible with your rifle, why not install it?* [21:08] <+Jonah> *Because I thought it took up a rail slot. Installing!* [21:09] <&Hebizuka> [Weight] (Pack/main inv) 57.48/60 [21:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] That was cool! A box came outta nowhere! [21:09] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] I have no words. This is impressive. [21:10] * +Jonah dreamily sighs as she sets up Dragonbane for combat. "Ahh - Miss Miko, I don't suppose I could buy a spare set of shrine maiden clothing from you? [21:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] I'm afraid not, ma'am... [21:10] <+Jonah> Carolyn would definitely appreciate it, since, well. I get the feelng bringing her back won't involve bringing her back with clothing. [21:10] <+Jonah> Dang and double dang. [21:10] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] I understand, but if you're lucky, clothes shops might have what you need for that. [21:11] <+Jonah> That's - okay, then. We'll test my luck. [21:11] <+Jonah> But... do you two fancy a rest first? I'm beat. [21:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Miko] It's just three items. A kimono, hakama pants, and a pair of geta. That should not be too hard to find. [21:11] <~SU_Tempest> [Ayako] I dun mind sittin down. [21:12] <~SU_Tempest> [Raider] No problem. We can stay. [21:12] <+Jonah> Thank you. [21:12] <+Jonah> *Checkout?* [21:12] <&Hebizuka> Checkout [21:13] <&Hebizuka> 161 rooms (+9), 16 kills, 0 SEs, 3 Missions, 2 Amulets (+1), 2485 P$ (+826), 0 Runs [21:14] <&Hebizuka> Score: 298 pts (+42) [21:14] <&Hebizuka> Position: 3rd (no change) [21:14] <&Hebizuka> *No combat today.* [21:14] <&Hebizuka> *No achievement progress today.* [21:14] <&Hebizuka> *That's it for now!*